When people gossip...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2006
When people gossip...
316
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 4:09pm

I live in a small state. Everyone knows everyone else. You know that game 6 degrees of seperation? We always make a joke that in this state you can have a conversation with a stranger and later find out she's your cousins, best friends, neighbor.... things like that.



Anyway. DS3 started preschool last week.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2010
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 4:17pm

ignore ignore ignore....soooooo not worth the aggravation.



And you're likely wasting your time trying to figure out who the "snitch" is...it's obviously someone with nothing better to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2009
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 4:18pm

<<>>

This.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 4:21pm

1) Restraining orders are for threats of physical violence. A non-issue here. She could ask for a cease and desist but that's harder to get and requires actually going to court.

2) Contempt requires you be violating a court order of some kind. I'm not sure what you can be in "contempt" of if there is no court order stating that you can't list DSS as a sibling to DS.

3) If, as a BM, I found out that SM were "claiming" one of mine as her own I'd be confused or livid. Livid if I thought it were true but more likely confused as to WTF was she thinking. I think my first step would be to approach BD and ask what was said and in what context. If this context? No issue, you weren't claiming the kid as yours but a sibling of your child.

4) Should you follow this up? Before you do think about what you hope to gain and what the odds of that really are. Are you going to find the person who "told" on you? And what do you hope to gain if you do? An apology? A promise not to do it again? Honestly you'd be better off letting it go - you know you live in a fishbowl, shrug it off and carry on.

















iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2006
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 4:29pm

"4) Should you follow this up? Before you do think about what you hope to gain and what the odds of that really are. Are you going to find the person who "told" on you? And what do you hope to gain if you do? An apology? A promise not to do it again? Honestly you'd be better off letting it go - you know you live in a fishbowl, shrug it off and carry on."



I don't WANT to follow up. I want to ignore it and hope it doesn't go any further. My problem is, in the past, BM has gone from one extreme to the other for no apparent reason and has gone crazy a bit. I'm not of the "BM sux" group, just the group that believes she's got some serious issues and at times is scary.



Over the past 3ish yrs, I've worked very hard at having nothing to do with BM. Nothing to do with DSS that is "parental". Ignoring everything and letting BD (DH) deal with everything related to BM.



I don't want whatever is going on with her to spiral out of control and involve my 3yr old. He's innocent and he loves his brother (DSS).



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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 4:45pm

I'm going to be the lone voice here, but I think you should let BM know that she's got the wrong end of the stick. Email would be preferable, if you have her address.

Just tell her what happened and say that you did not and would never claim SS as your son.

That's what I would do, anyway. And now everyone's going to say what a bad idea it is ;o)

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"Justice, fairness, and the Aquarian way"



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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 4:49pm

As a BM if you heard/thought/found out SM was claiming your child as her own, would you leave SM a message? confront BD? ignore it?



Leave her a message?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 4:57pm

Even if I had said he was mine can she really get a restraining order against me?



Ah, if only it were possible...now THAT would be a dream.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 5:00pm
Not me.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2006
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 5:01pm

Uh, TX....



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2007
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 5:05pm

She filled out the paperwork for her own kid...not the stepkid. And he IS the youngest of 4, he has 3 older siblings.



BM looks like a dumba$$ threatening action that is not even possible. How is anyone harmed if a 3 year old's preschool teacher thinks that the stepkid is SM's kid or a full sibling to the toddler?

 

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