When should he drop off?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2007
When should he drop off?
52
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 5:37pm

Okay, I've been lurking for a while so I know it may be pointless to ask, but please be gentle. :)


I need some opinions on this one, although I think it is settled for now.


BD takes a new job through a temp agency at the beginning of the summer. Multiple shifts are available but he chooses 7:30-4:30 because he like to be off earlier, so far so good. BD has DS10 Wednesday nights and therefore has been dropping him off at camp at 7:00 all summer on Thursday mornings. This was working okay, but not splendidly, as DS gets headaches without enough sleep and in general is having a hard time in the AM.


Now the school year is starting and BD would like to drop DS off to BM every morning at 7:00. BM says no, she doesn't think it's best for DS to get up at 6:00 now that he is back in school, and BD should drop off at bedtime if he can't arrange his schedule to drop DS at school. DS sleeps until 7:00 with BM, and seems to do well on that schedule.


So...what to do? It is BD's time per the CO, but keeping DS overnight makes school more difficult for him. Does parents visitation time win over the kid getting more rest?


(DS can't just go to bed earlier, his school is pretty rigorous and the homework often keeps him up late as it is)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 5:57pm

Bedtime. For many reasons:

1. Apparently, the child will be sleep deprived for his school day if he is dropped off at 7am.

2. Apparently sleep deprivation makes the child ill-NOT optimum for a rigorous school day.

3. Routine disruption is really not ideal.

4. And finally, if BD expects BM to pick up his custodial slack and provide childcare, he's going to have to accept that it will be at her convenience.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 6:44pm

BM says no, she doesn't think it's best for DS to get up at 6:00 now that he is back in school, and BD should drop off at bedtime if he can't arrange his schedule to drop DS at school. DS sleeps until 7:00 with BM, and seems to do well on that schedule.


BD should arrange alternate transportation for DS in the morning.


So...what to do? It is BD's time per the CO, but keeping DS overnight makes school more difficult for him. Does parents visitation time win over the kid getting more rest?


It's 1 hour. When DS goes out into the workforce and stays up one night too late, is he going to call into work the next morning because he didn't get a full 8 hours of sleep?


(DS can't just go to bed earlier, his school is pretty rigorous and the homework often keeps him up late as it is)





So DS starts working on homework the minute he gets home and because he has soooo much of it he is up until, what? 10pm? 11pm? Midnight? Poor child doesn't eat dinner? Socialize? Have a few minutes to relax? Seems to me that DS could go to bed an hour earlier and then use that extra hour in the morning to complete the homework he didn't complete the night before. An hour is an hour right? What's the difference if it's the night before or the next day? If it takes him more than an hour than it seems he would have been sleep deprived anyway because he would have been up later than usual.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 6:54pm
Bring the boy home at night.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 7:04pm
I say he brings the kid home in the morning.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 7:09pm

It's 1 hour. When DS goes out into the workforce and stays up one night too late, is he going to call into work the next morning because he didn't get a full 8 hours of sleep?>>>


Physically, children require more sleep than adults.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2010
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 7:10pm

If he's dropping the kid home in the morning, I say he's responsible for getting him to school.

@Newmommy: I hate the "well, when he's in the working world" attitude towards childrearing. A 10 yo is not a 23 yo. And there is far more to childhood than preparation for the cube farm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 7:34pm

Before what is going on now was going on, my ex and I agreed to have the kids home Sunday nights instead of Monday mornings for the exact reason you listed... rest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 8:34pm

I really think sleep is important.

A Stepparent is as much a parent as an ex-wife is a wife.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2009
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 8:41pm

Bedtime. We once tried briefly letting BD keep DS until Monday morning because it was practical (saved him two hours of driving) and it was a trainwreck. We switched back after two visits because DS was a mess at school. Some kids need the time to decompress.


Or dad could rearrange his schedule if that's possible.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-1999
Wed, 08-25-2010 - 9:02pm

We had to make some tough choices about bedtimes and family time here as well.

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