Which parent is worse?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Which parent is worse?
15
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 9:02pm

BM and BD have kid(s) together. BD is not keen on being a parent and BM knows this. She tells him that he won't ever have to pay any C/S if he promises to leave and never have any contact with her or kids. Which parent is worse in this scenario?

BD tells BM that that if she lets him off the hook for C/S, he'll leave her and kids alone. Now which parent is worse?

Does your answer change depending on who initiates the 'deal'?







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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 9:13pm

Both parents suck. And I hope that BD realizes he could look up one day and BM has fallen on hard times and is now taking him to court to establish CS and ask for back CS.

If I had to choose--BD is worse. Like if your friend dares you to jump off a bridge and you actually jump? You're responsible. Likewise, BM can propose that BD walk away from the kid all she wants. When he turns and walks out the door? He is the bigger POS.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 9:17pm

Since them stemmed from my life sitch I will answer my POV. Just to make clear, there was never a deal cut between Bio-dad and myself. He simply made his decision and dropped of the Earth. I think he is still obligated to pay CS because he knowingly and willingly entered into a marriage and created children, before he came to realize he would rather be child free.



But I personally don't think it was right or fair to the kids to grow up without their father in their lives. Every kid deserves a father, and all the stuff that comes with it.



So I guess in that type of sitch if both parents enter into the agreement you give me baby and walk they both are not doing the kid any favors. They are already starting the kid off at a disadvantage. I think either way the deal is cut is still not thinking of the child's best interest. I think it is high time parents put the kids first not themselves. When you decide to bring a life in this world you need to think of that child before your own needs, wants, desires etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2006
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 9:45pm

Is the BD just not keen on parenting, like I'm not keen on doing laundry or is he going to be a threat/hazzard/potential danger to his kids if he's forced to pony up CS?



If BD just doesn't want to and BM says fine, I think the eventual emotional consequences for the child(ren) will be worse than if they spent time with their BD. Both parents are making a bad decesion.



If BD is going to be a harm to his child(ren) then I think the emotional consequences of not having a father will be less than they would be if spending time with child(ren). BD sucks and BM is making the best of a bad situation.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 10:01pm
This could potentially be my sitch as well, but I would never offer that deal. I'm 95% sure that if I did offer it, BD would take it. =-\






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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 10:10pm
I have zero tolerance for either. Those are the ones that should not procreate to begin with. I am raising a child that the parents shouldn't have done so and I am speaking loudly from the mountain tops claiming it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2007
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 10:22pm

parent and BM knows this.>



What does BM know, exactly?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 11:40pm

Good grief.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 11:41pm

I'd take the deal if offerred it by my stupid ex.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 11:55pm
oh and I am sure your daughter would love her's too. Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Like you I don't say that to her but she's not on here and we all say things we don't want our kids to know. I don't regret my LG but I do regret her parents choices and so does she.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2008
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 6:18am
they both sux, BD marginally more for doing the actual leaving but if BM knew he didn't want to be a dad she sux too for having a kid with him. Unless that was the deal from before she was pregnant, that he was just a donor. In which case neither really sux.

 

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