Who gets the kids-Spinoff

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2009
Who gets the kids-Spinoff
3
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 8:44am

Kids (11 and 13) live with BD/SM.

BM is completely MIA for 10+ years. SM can prove this beyond a reasonable doubt.

SM has POA for kids, but never adopts or becomes LG.

BD/SM have 2 'ours' kids.

BD dies.

Debate: In this scenario, if SM went to Court and made the argument for becoming the kids' legal guardian and residential guardian in order to maintain the SQ of their lives, what would you, as a Judge, do?

For the sake of fun, let's say BM is hell-bent and determined for the kids to now live with her.

BM lives 4 states away from SM. Neither is willing to move.

Mizster-M Kitteh....  ...gatherz hiz minionz...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 10:37am
SM all the way. I don't take lightly to anyone voluntarily bailing on their kids for a great length of time. It's called neglect and someone who neglects their kids shouldn't get to come back in and shake their world when they didn't give a darn for ten years. If they want a relationship they can start taking baby steps to do so and prove themselves fit.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2009
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 11:10am
SM. Just like I hope a court would award my husband custody of DS. I'm assuming these children want their SM as badly as DS would want DH and have no interest in living with the absent BM. If they are lobbying to go, there might need to be some negotiation about sharing, but if the kids want to stay with their resident parental figure, blood isn't the deciding factor for me.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2009
Fri, 08-27-2010 - 11:21am

You know, even in my situation, with a somewhat involved BM...I truly think that if BD were to pass now, that BM would allow ODSD to continue living with me and her brothers if ODSD so chose....

Of course, ODSD is an older child...and that makes a HUGE difference....

Mizster-M Kitteh....  ...gatherz hiz minionz...