Who holds passports?
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|Fri, 08-27-2010 - 6:52am|
Real life sitch.
I'll have to do a bit of BM sux to give background.
BM and BD are separated for 5 years. BM is CP, BD has EOW and 1 month in summer.
BD pays CS but had it reduced significantly in court last March. BM was angry and stopped access as a result. BD had access reinstated via court but it took nearly 3 months. Court ordered assessment of children and for the counselor to recommend access. Counselor came down on the side of the father and access was reinstated.
BD lives with gf. Gf has a job which requires that she make occasional trips abroad to places like Paris, Rome, London, etc. The job allows her to occasionally bring the entire family (BD and his DD7, his DD5 and his DD3 with gf), all expenses paid. Usually only BD, gf, and their DD3 go because BM won't give extra access.
Last Feb BD asked BM to sign for passports so DD7 and DD5 could accompany the rest to Paris for 7 days during summer access. BM refused. To cut the story short, BD had to involve lawyers and courts. 3 times BM agreed to sign but 'lost' the passport forms. There were lots of scenes from BM and lots of lying to the children over why they couldn't go. At one point BM told the children the counselor wouldn't let them go but the counselor set it straight by explaining she never said that and that she thought they should go. BD finally got passports but it cost over $12,000 by the time all the courts and lawyers were paid. Also there was a lot of hassle, getting photos 3 times, getting forms 3 times, taking off work to get things done, court 3 times, police signatures 3 times, BM agreeing to meet to sign forms then not showing up, etc. The court agreed that BM's tactics were all designed to delay in the hope that the passports would not be issued in time for the trip. In the end the passports were finally issued 3 days before the trip and the trip went well.
Now BM insists that as NCP she should hold the passports and is demanding that they turned over to her. BD refuses as he believes she will 'lose' them again and the next time he wants to take a trip abroad he will have to go through the same hassle and expense. BM did not pay anything toward the passport fees or photos. BD and gf travel abroad 5-6 times a year but BM doesn't and doesn't like to travel. BD is willing to have it written into the order that he will supply BM with passports upon receipt of any travel itinerary but that she would be required to return the passports to him at the first access following travel or be held in contempt. BM refuses to make this change to the CO and will accept nothing less than full control of the passports with no stipulations about releasing them to BD when he has proof of travel plans.
Who should hold the passports, NCP or the parent most likely to travel?