Touchy subject

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2009
Touchy subject
22
Tue, 01-19-2010 - 8:27pm

Okay, here's a facet I haven't seen covered...


I vax. I have a lot of friends whose children I spend a lot of time around. (We're a homeschooling network. Figure I see these kids 1 to 3 times a week.) Some of these families do not vax.


I am having a baby. For the early months s/he will not be fully vaccinated because it takes time. During that time s/he will be susceptible to infection.


Within the social circle it is generally accepted that kids are curious and that curiousity extends to new babies. Kids are going to want to see, touch, hold the baby.


How do I say, "vaccinated kids only" without people getting indignant? I don't always know which families do and don't vax, just that there are several who don't. (I know a couple for sure but it's not like I ask people.) I am not willing to subject my baby to close contact with possible vectors and if I have to tell people their kids are a disease risk I will, but I'm looking for the gentle way to allow the vaccinated kids access without risking my own child's health before the baby vaxs are all done.

Photobucketpregnancy

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
In reply to: just_elsa
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 2:59pm
You should probably read up on measles and the vaccine.

Rands

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2007
In reply to: just_elsa
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 9:30pm

Why on Earth would your irrational fear of unvaccinated people hurt my feelings? You asked for a polite way to tell people that you think are putting their children at risk to stay away from your baby because of their choices. I answered you. Just tell them. If your concerns were truly over keeping your friends, I hardly suspect a debate board would be the place to ease them. Maybe vaccine support? Your EC?

They're your feelings... why not tell people IRL the same thing you do on this board? Unless you think it's better to lie to them so you can still be friends? Why would you want to be friends with people you don't want touching you and your baby because they have 'germs'?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2009
In reply to: just_elsa
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 10:56pm

Criticalthinker just implied very heavily that hers were.


Both I and my OB provider have read up on the situation but thank you for what I am assuming was well-intended advice.

Photobucketpregnancy

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2009
In reply to: just_elsa
Thu, 01-21-2010 - 11:00pm

Okay, you're freakin' out. I am still open to serious suggestions regarding the actual question but you are getting all drama's up

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
In reply to: just_elsa
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 6:23am

then the answer is very simple.. simply say "Please do not touch my baby or come near her"...your friends should like you no matter what your life choices are. That's what friends really are all about, celebrating differences, likenesses, and respecting each others' opinion. If they are offended by your stance on the situation, the maybe you should question how good of friends they really are.

and FWIW, the regular posters on this board do not engage in drama..we are passionate about the issue, not dramatic. Sometimes stating facts or telling the truth comes off to others as being dramatic.




Edited 1/22/2010 6:27 am ET by emscemily
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2008
In reply to: just_elsa
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 9:02am

Trust me, Jamie's not freaking out.


Let me see if I can put this in a different way.

Rands

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2007
In reply to: just_elsa
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 9:52am

I'm not freaking out, I'm asking you legitimate questions regarding your position and your question, that I've already answered. I'm sorry you don't like sugar-free discussion.

You said that the discussion was about how to tell people that take "that" risk with their kids that "they may not touch the baby". The answer is very simple.

"Your child may not touch the baby."

I understand perfectly well about being friends with people I disagree with. Politics, medicine, school, history, all of it. I don't see the point in lying about your position to save someone's "feelings". I would certainly expect the truth from people I consider to be my friends.

I'm trying to tell you that I would not be offended if one of my friends, or family members, told me or my unvaccinated child not to touch their newborn baby. I happen to think it's a good idea, in any circumstance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2004
In reply to: just_elsa
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 12:42pm

I don't say this in a snippy or rude way myself, just pointing out the reality. Speaking as both a home school parent and a non vaccinating parent you will be rude if you single out anyone due to a medical condition/choice (which is what vaccination status is), to not touch your child. Rudeness is generally not accepted in home schooling circles but you can give a shot just expect to be a bit shunned yourself.

If you go so far as to do this "if I have to tell people their kids are a disease risk I will" then be prepared for a pretty big backlash and to possibly be asked to find another group because that is both ignornace and rudeness in a big old insult. I've been home schooling for 10 years, involved in a ton of groups and that wouldn't have been accepted in any of them.

Before your baby arrives I want to encourage you to do some basic research on vaccines, their failure rates, signs and symptoms of illness and just how the immune system works. If you have a lot of worries over your infant coming into contact with germs then simply don't allow anybody to handle, touch or come within a few feet of him or her. You may also want to consider simply staying home for the first six months to a year. Germs of all kinds are everywhere because they are airborn and the common cold variety are simply unavoidable and much more likely for your infant to catch than say measles, chicken pox or polio. Plus many of the other toddlers and infants that may be around you and recently vaccinated could just as easily be spreading things like chicken pox to your infant as several vaccines shed (or share as I like to think of it) the very illness that they are designed to "protect" against.

I am not suggesting that you not vaccinate because that is and I hope will always be a parents right to chose. I just wish you to educate yourself a bit more on vaccines and the human immune system before assuming that a child who happens to be vaccinated is such a less threat of germs and illness to your infant than one who isn't.

Non vaccinated children and people are not walking and talking disease incubators just waiting to go off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2009
In reply to: just_elsa
Thu, 02-04-2010 - 2:43pm

No drama here!


Better contact the Oscar committee.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2009
In reply to: just_elsa
Thu, 02-04-2010 - 4:34pm
The baby bjorn suspends the child from its crotch. There are other front carriers that support the entire bottom which imo would be far more comfortable for the child.

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