What do you do when parents disagree?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
What do you do when parents disagree?
7
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 10:15am
I'm eight months pregnant and my husband and I are still arguing the pros and cons over vaccinating. We've both done extensive reading and it's come down to him being pro-vax and me being anti-vax. Has this happened to anyone else and what do we do now?
Avatar for keeley_14383
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 10:52am
Can you come to a compromise you can both live with? I suggest calling your state health department and finding out which of the VPDs have been reported in your area this year. Also have them send you your state's laws regarding vaccination and school exemptions. You may not be required to get all the vaccines on the schedule for school entry. Ask your DH which of the diseases he is really most worried about. Perhaps you could vaccinate for those on the recommended schedule, and postpone or eliminate the others. Remember, unless you are using daycare and they have rules you need to follow, you do not have to vaccinate on the recommended schedule if you are not comfortable with it. You can use any schedule you like (as long as you don't give vaccines in a series too close together -- however that is not likely to be a problem!)

Best of luck to you--and wishing you an easy delivery and healthy mom and baby!!

Keeley

Avatar for suschi
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-14-2003 - 11:44am
My DH was all for vaccines until he watched our chubby 7.5 month deteriorate into a shell of skin and bones after his 3rd round of shots. I don't think anything I could have shown him or told him would have convinced him. But an in your face demonstration at the expense of our son was a real kicker.

Christine

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 7:34pm
Hi Forrest mom we are in the same boat and are not happy with the possible side affects of immunising so after we had the first ones of which I have opted out of immunising against Hepatitis B at birth as this is a sexually or blood born disease and not something that you expect a baby to be subject to until school years playing sports and the like. But there is a book called Educate before you vaccinate and that can be a rather scary read but can also help you decide. At the end of the day it needs to be an informed choice so read as much as you can. Also be prepared to accept your decision as if babies are in daycare they are exposed to more and in some cases need that immunity or you could look at it the other way and at least if they are exposed they will develop natural immunity. As I said it is an informed decision and there are pros and cons. We now have decided only to immunise against the infections that are still common as in Polio (the oral dose), Diptheria, Tetanus and Pertussis or Whooping cough and as this is a combined immunisation that helps and we are still at loggerheads over the Hib for meningitis as it is not the most common one that is presenting at the moment. There are alot of things to consider and you both need to access the same information and discuss it. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 9:16pm
There is always divorce.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 05-19-2003 - 11:41pm
My husband & I are both RNs, with philosophies that differ from that of the medical model. However, after the research we did, we weighed the pros & cons of vaccination & decided that the odds favored vaccination of our now 2 year old child. I couldn't live with my self if anything happened to our precious girl & the diseases that we vaccinate against are life-threatening & seriously contagious. We didn't want to raise our girl in a bubble, so we opted to vaccinate. As an Army veteran, I can tell you I have been inocculated with who-knows-what, yet I remain a very healthy 30-year old woman. I commend you & your husband for being informed parents & not just following the flock! www.marykay.com/paulatyree
Avatar for keeley_14383
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 05-20-2003 - 12:15pm
LOL, somehow, I think that might not be very helpful advice!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 05-21-2003 - 12:13am
I was just kidding with the divorce comment.

However, I would like to comment on the previous post:

Paula, I think is your name, you said, "We didn't want to raise our girl in a bubble, so we opted to vaccinate." I have to say that my child is not vaccinated nor lives in a bubble. I think that perpetuating that misconception is a bit hasty.

Also, you mentioned, "As an Army veteran, I can tell you I have been inocculated with who-knows-what, yet I remain a very healthy 30-year old woman."

First, I was curious about the "who-knows-what" comment and how you can just accpt "who-knows-what"???

Second, you are only 30 years old, "who-knows-what" my catch up with you some day and you won't even know where it came from. That, to me, is a greater risk that these "contagious" diseases you speak of.

I guess maybe perception is the key. Well, I'm hoping you don't take offense to my statements, it's just I felt the need to respond, back to virtual lurkdom!