No option but 3rd c-section... advice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2009
No option but 3rd c-section... advice?
8
Fri, 01-22-2010 - 2:33pm

I wanted to jump on and introduce myself. I probably won't be posting much anytime soon, but I'll likely be reading all your questions a lot!


I just had my second daughter in October via repeat c-section. I desperately wanted a VBAC and at 32 weeks, decided to try it at home with a midwife because I didn't feel at all supported by my hospital. I labored for 26 hours and eventually transferred to the hospital after stalling at 8 cm for 12 hours. On the table, it was discovered that I had nearly ruptured at my previous scar (the 1st c-section could have been

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2009
Sat, 01-23-2010 - 1:15am

Hi and Welcome and congrats on your new little one! (Well, 16 weeks is still fairly new!)


I can relate to your situation, a bit. I have had 3 C sections. The first was an emergency after 4 hours of pushing and no baby. The 2nd was a failed VBAC attempt after plummeting baby heart rates during a prolonged pushing phase and my third was scheduled. I was a Mom that wanted a totally natural home birth and compromised on the first birth being in a hospital for my DH!


A couple ideas for you... have you visited the negative birth experiences board? Some of those ladies *might* be able to help a bit with what they are doing to work through their negative experiences.


For me, personally, I knew that I did EVERYTHING I could to try to birth my babies vaginally and ultimately, I was okay with scheduling #3. I think that one of the BIG things that made it okay for me was my relationship with my doctor. She let me control everything that I could within the context of the C section ... ie., when my DH was there, how soon I got to hold the baby, etc., etc. I think it makes a huge difference if you feel like you have some control rather than having it happen to you and having the doctor tell you what it will be like.


I do think that my repeat section was a bit easier than those that are unplanned... I think a bunch of that is just knowing what to expect... and knowing how hard the recovery will be.


As for the guilt, I'm not sure if I have much good advice. I can share with you what my amazing doula told me before my very first birth... she said, "There are two ways that babies come into this world...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Sat, 01-23-2010 - 8:28pm

I so feel your pain. Let me just start by saying I come from a huge family where NOT ONE other woman has ever had a c-section...In fact most of the women have delivered their children without medications...Well, my first pregnancy were twins (both breech)...they were born at 35 weeks due to the fact that I had pre E, scheduled (sort of) section, and my recovery went well...both babies were whisked away to the NICU...I got one back after 4 hours (they fed her twice...I'm STILL pissed about that one..they wouldn't even let my husband do her first feeding)...the other one ended up being there for 19 days (10 days intubated on a ventilator).

My 2nd pregnancy, I was told by my ob/gyn that we could do a VBAC...My reason for the c-section was definitely for a specific reason one that was unlikely to be repeated. Plus, I am allergic to pain killers, so I have allergic reactions to the spinal, and I can't take pain mgmt following the surgery...If anyone was going to do it naturally, it was going to be me. When I was 6 months pregnant, our local hospital announced a new policy that a patient could only VBAC if they'd had a previous successful vaginal (so vaginal, c-section, vbac) or if their ob/gyn was in the hospital for the entire labor. That just wasn't feasible, my doctor had too many patients. He offered me two options, one was to transfer my care to a teaching hospital in the big town about 30 minutes where I lived (which would be an insurance nightmare), or we could repeat c-section. I really didn't want the hassle, and I figured, my recovery would be so much easier because I wouldn't have to be going 2 and from the nicu so many times. Well, my 3rd baby ended up in the nicu, because the fluid in his lungs was not pushed out bc he didn't go thru the birth canal. The guilt I felt was overwhelming...despite asssurances that I wasn't even close to going into labor and he would have been too big 4 me to push out, I still feel responsible for his NICU stay...

I'm pregnant again, and I dread dread dread a c-section...however, I am not longer with my old ob (we've moved) and the nearest hospital for a vbac attempt is 2 hours away. Plus, if what they say is true about each baby being bigger than the last, this will easily be a 10lb + baby. My pelvis is rather small so it'd likely be 2 big for me to push out...I still feel like I owe it to my baby not to give up on a vbac...after seeing 2 of my kids with a tube down their throat...after leaving the hospital twice without my baby....I just don't know...


Sarah
Wife to Kevin
Step-mom to Justin (11)
Mom to twins Grace and Isabelle (3)and Boyd (21months)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2009
Sat, 01-23-2010 - 11:58pm

Sarah,


Sounds like we're belly-buddies. :) Neither of my babies ended up in the NICU, but Tesla (my youngest) was hospitalized for a week after birth because I had a fever during delivery and they were worried about infection. She had precautionary anti-biotics for 7 days. I can't imagine having to go home without your baby - ironically, my husband was unemployed when Tes was born, and could stay home with Fenna. I was discharged after 3 days and Tesla was moved to the peds unit for

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 3:18pm

You know I just had my 3rd c two weeks ago and I didn't want anyone of them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 6:35pm

For my second delivery, my ob and I had struck a deal..if I went into labor naturally, he wouldn't stop it up until the date of my c-section. He checked me the day before the surgery to see if I was progressing at all (so he could "reschedule" if delivery looked imminent) but I was sealed up tight...not even 1/2 cm dilated, so we opted for it because my baby was already estimating about 9lbs.

I'm pretty sure I'll just go ahead and c-section this one as well...like I said, this will prob be a 10 pounder, easy. And, despite being heartbroken over the scars left on my sons body (that's a whole other can of worms), the NICU stay was a such a drop in the bucket of a lifetime.

Though, if my labor before my scheduled section, I might just "wait" a little bit before calling the doctor....like til the baby is crowning..lol....


Sarah
Wife to Kevin
Step-mom to Justin (11)
Mom to twins Grace and Isabelle (3)and Boyd (21months)
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Avatar for teraleee
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 02-16-2010 - 7:27pm

First of all, it sucks.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2009
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 12:14pm

Teralee,


Thanks for sharing your story. I'm so sorry about your second child. I know I was lucky to rupture and not lose my baby. And, like you said, ironically my second c-section wasn't near as bad as my first - even though I wanted that VBAC as bad as you did.


I must tell you that your story actually gives me quite a bit of hope - I was told after my rupture that I probably shouldn't have any more kids

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Avatar for teraleee
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-17-2010 - 12:23pm

Kelly, well another is definitely possible as you see!

 

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