Really sad-about repeat c-section. :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2004
Really sad-about repeat c-section. :(
4
Sat, 02-20-2010 - 10:52am

I am going to have a repeat c-section for many reasons. One is b.c we just moved to our area and literally dont have anyone to baby sit our dd if I go into labor and we cant take her to the hospital. Also we live an hour away from the hospital where I will be delivering. There are several hospitals closer, but I love my dr and they have a great NICU, not that we intend on using it but you never know.Also, I have a weird scar from my last c-section and the dr said if it was his choice he would say go for the c-section, but that I could do a VBAC if I really wanted to.

I am just so sad about it. My last labor was so awful. They induced me due to pre-eclampsia. After 39hours,2 cervidil inserts,a TON of pitocin, it ended with an emergency c b.c her heartrate was getting all crazy. But I never dilated enough. I had "failure to progress". I hate that title. Like I failed, I did something wrong. I had broken foot 3 days before and it sorta dislodged her from the locked and loaded position. So I couldnt get up and walk around to try and help the labor progress either b.c of the foot. B.c I was in bed that long I have permanent nerve damage and still cant feel my left thigh.
I was given the c-section, saw my baby for a minute and that was it. I didnt get to hold her until several hours after she was born. I didnt get to breastfeed right away. I was drugged up on what they called "margarita juice" that I dont really remember anything. I have no memory of the first time I held my daughter. I dont remember seeing my parents/husband hold her for the 1st time. I remember nothing. I was so bummed and upset about the whole thing that I never told my birth story. I was embarrassed and ticked off about the whole thing.

I am dreading all that again. I want to do this vaginally. I want to "give" birth and push a baby out, not have a child ripped from abdomen. I dont want to be all laid up for weeks and not be able to pick my 3y/o up. I dont want to spend that much time in the hospital again. I have seen so many women who's children had to spend time in the nicu because of not getting the fluid of their lungs and that scares me. My c-section scar still hurts when I sneeze and cough. I'm just super said that I will never get to experience what a womens body is supposed to do. I'm sad that I wont be able to do that. I want to have a birth that I enjoy and am proud of. Ok, big girl panties back on :)

Does anyone else understand? Anyone else having another c-section and not really wanna do it? Any words of advice on how to do this? I dont want to go through this whole pregnancy dreading the birth.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Sat, 02-20-2010 - 10:35pm

I completely understand...I was one of those NICU mommies...twice...okay, "big girl talk"

From what I hear scheduled c-sections are much less traumatizing than emergency ones (I've never had an emergency one). You will feel a little woozy afterwards, but you should be more less in charge of your mental faculties. Depending on the health of the baby, you'll probably get him/her pretty much as soon as you're done in the recovery room. If your baby isn't healthy, yes it'll be whisked away (and it SUCKS)...With my son, they let me hold him until I was done in the recovery room because they needed to "observe" him, but it wasn't life threatening at the time (then they screwed up and it became a life and death issue, but we don't need to go into that). My friends whose kids didn't have respiratory issues had their babies with them immediately, and were able to breastfeed as soon as they were done in the recovery room.

I had twins who were 17 months old when my son was born. I was able to lift and hold them as soon as I got home from the hospital. I just was careful how I did it...I was up walking around and on no pain meds (I'm allergic anyway)...I didn't feel GREAT, but I didn't feel awful either. I stayed in the hospital for 5 days both times, but that was because I had a baby in the NICU, I could have gone home after 72 hours...it's a little longer stay, but most moms I know who deliver vaginally stay 48 hours so not too much longer...

Some encouragement...our bodies were designed to birth babies, yes, this is true. However, good prenatal care and research has resulted in bigger babies, increased monitoring (so we know when baby is in trouble), and a much lower percentage of infant and mother mortality rates. Remember, women and babies used to die in childbirth A LOT because of the complications that today result in c-sections. As much as I DREAD the thought of yet another c-section, I remember there's a reason Dr's figured out how to surgically birth children. What is the alternative? Not having your baby for a few hours or not having your baby forever?

Okay, non big girl pants...I think it sucks you had to go through what you went through. You're not alone. I'm going for number 3 and I hate it. Anytime you want to whine, feel free to e-mail me...


Sarah
Wife to Kevin
Step-mom to Justin (11)
Mom to twins Grace and Isabelle (3)and Boyd (21months)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2009
Sun, 02-21-2010 - 2:30pm

Vicki -


I can relate! I cried when I had to have a C section with my first and when my VBAC attempt also failed I was devistated b/c I wanted soooo bad to have a natural birth and to push out a baby.


My first two were emergency C sections and my third was scheduled. I do have to say that my 3rd was probably the easiest. For my 2nd and 3rd my DH held the baby right next to me right after they were born and cleaned up... and I was able to nurse as soon as we were in recovery. It's important to make your wishes known - you can consider writing a C section birth plan to talk through with your doctor.


I actually think that's one of the most important things - being "in step" with your doctor about your wishes will make your experience much easier, even if it's not ideal.


I hope that if you do decide to schedule your 2nd C that it is much easier than your first birth! Please feel free to drop in here and ask any questions that you might have!


Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 1:43pm

(((((BIG HUGS)))))) I understand what you're saying and then I don't. To me no matter which way you have your baby you have given birth to a beautiful child. I'm glad I have c/s's I don't want to endure hours upon hours of pain. I believe I'm having a wonderful birth experience too.


I've had 3 c/s the first being an emergency and the other 2 scheduled. My first I was progressing great but when they broke my water Kevin's heartrate dropped and it wouldn't come back up no matter which way they flipped me. So I was put under and didn't see him for hours and when I did wake up in recovery (on a different floor then maternity) when I asked if it was a boy or girl the nurse couldn't remember!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 3:30pm

Just make sure your DH is on board with your birth plan...I didn't want any visitors the first day bc I am typically SO sick (allergic to the spinal, so I'm doped up on Benadryl)....He didn't take me seriously and his family showed up all day...combine that with the fact my baby was in the NICU and they got to see him when I didn't get to really pissed me off. My family listened to me, and I ended up in a big fight with my MIL when she showed up at the hospital...(she started it, but the details aren't important).

I've had more friends than I can count who have had c-sections, and I am the only one with a NICU experience, so I'm sure you'll be fine!


Sarah
Wife to Kevin
Step-mom to Justin (11)
Mom to twins Grace and Isabelle (3)and Boyd (21months)
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