recovery & healing experiences

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
recovery & healing experiences
8
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 4:21pm

Hi all. I haven't really introduced myself, so here's the short version: I'm Amanda and had an emergency c-sec back in October.

Manda :)

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Fri, 06-24-2011 - 12:40pm

First, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry that your birth did not go the way you had hoped for.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 4:14pm
Oooh I get the itch I can't scratch too! Hate that! Its not swollen and doesn't cause me to need to take anything, but it's just a constant reminder. I know everyone says that all that matters is a healthy baby, but in my case, I think the c-section traded one set of problems for another for my LO, and caused a huge set of problems for me, so the "all that matters..." still strikes a nerve with me. I'm now about 8 months out and I just wish it would all go away. Now I've been having some pelvic pain today, like bad cramps, but different and only on one side. I don't know if it's my IUD or I've pulled something or if it's something else, but it's making me nervous. If it doesn't go away I might call the dr tomorrow. I just have this nagging fear that all is not well in there and I'm destined for another c-section when we decide to have another or that we won't be able to have another at all. Irrational, I know, but telling myself that doesn't make it go away. Thanks for your input. I got so little information from my drs and nurses at the hospital that I just don't know what to expect. Thanks for listening!

Manda :)

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Tue, 06-28-2011 - 6:30pm
(((HUGS))) I'm sorry, I didn't mean to strike a nerve. :( You had the whole NICU experience to deal with as well, and that's a whole kind of trauma all to itself!! I can't even imagine!!

Definitely there's more to it than "just a healthy baby", but even with vaginal deliveries things don't always go as planned. I felt like a huge failure after my 1st vaginal delivery cause he was delivered with forceps. And once the doc put those in, I stopped pushing altogether! He literally yanked that baby out of me. I was certainly traumatized for quite a while from that whole experience (for many reasons), and I just made up my mind that I was going to do WHATEVER it took (including c-section) not to ever have to go through that again. My 2nd vaginal delivery went better, but not great. My 3rd was probably my worst for different reasons. So, I gave up on my "ideal" birth by the 4th time, and went with a c-section. For me, that gave me back the control that I felt like I lost in my 2 traumatic deliveries. And my experience this last time was finally one that I could be really happy with, but like I said, none of my births ever came close to my "ideal" experience. And I'm ok with that...now. But, it took me time to get there!

I've actually surprised myself that I do have as many kids as I do now, cause I definitely had MAJOR fear of birth after my first experience. But, I also think that's why I do have this many kids too. I kept thinking I was going to finally get it right. And really I needed just "one" good experience!! :) One that I could look back on without remembering the pain and fear and all.

I really do hope that you will get to experience the birth you are hoping for the next time though!! VBACs are becoming much more common, and more docs are willing to do them these days!

As for the pains and such you are feeling, I think you should definitely speak to your doc, if you feel like something isn't right. Your body is pretty good at cuing you in on things. And I feel, it's best to trust your gut on stuff like that! GL!!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-29-2011 - 10:18pm
Well the pelvic pain went away. I'm not sure what that was about. As far as the other stuff, I actually think it's all pretty normal but it just keeps those emotions on the surface. I'm glad you finally felt in control of your last birth. I think that's really what I'm looking for in my next (whenever that happens). My goal is an unmedicated vbac. I'm even considering homebirth if I have to. It's not easy to get a vbac around here. Of our 2 hospitals, only 1 will allow them only after you go through a board of drs and get their approval, which I think sucks, but that's what you have to do. I think as far as my experience in the hospital, the worst part was the feeling that I'd lost all control over what was happening and being done to my body and to my baby. I think even if I had to have another c-sec, if my wishes were respected, I could be a lot happier with the experience, much like you I think.

Manda :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Thu, 06-30-2011 - 12:39am

I've had 3 c/s.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Thu, 06-30-2011 - 8:54am

I'm sorry you had such a frustrating experience. I would say that there's a wide range of "normal" experiences for a c/s. My first, I was almost completely numb in that area for at least six months (making sex... interesting). With that birth, I had a c-section because of an occult cord prolapse, brought on by an induction on my due date because of pre-eclampsia. My second time, which was 3.5 months ago, has been very different. I got feeling back much more quickly, and I was up and about pretty quickly too. But my scar was twinge-y for a long time, and made AF cramps particularly unbearable. My mom, who had all three of us by c-section in the 70s, says that she still feels pain in her scar from time to time.

I totally get wanting to prevent what happened before and really having an emotional investment with the birth. With my second, I was gung-ho about an unmedicated VBAC. I chose a hospital and providers that would give me the best chance at that, read books, took classes, hired a doula, and practiced pain-relief techniques at home. Well, my second pregnancy I got pre-e much earlier (signs of it from 29 weeks, getting bad at 31 weeks). My son had to be delivered at 35 weeks, and while my hospital pushed me to consider a TOLAC, I was such a bad candidate for it (basically no chance of success) that I asked for a repeat c-section. But my experience is not the norm.




Powered by CGISpy.com


Thanks

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Thu, 06-30-2011 - 11:01am
I was going to ask you in the other thread, but decided to do it here, if you were going to use the same people the next time. They don't sound to be very empathetic to you concerns, wishes, and what you went through. I hope you can find someone willing to work with you to help give you the best experience possible!!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 06-30-2011 - 4:27pm
jennh1230 wrote:
I was going to ask you in the other thread, but decided to do it here, if you were going to use the same people the next time. They don't sound to be very empathetic to you concerns, wishes, and what you went through. I hope you can find someone willing to work with you to help give you the best experience possible!!

Funny you should ask, DH and I discussed this just last night. Of my 3 MWs, I loved 2 and hated 1. Actually, it was one of the good ones who sent me for the induction (after putting it off for about 2 wks and watching baby's heart rate very closely) and it was the crappy one at the hospital that day. I'd been having regular contrx for like 2 wks and they stopped when I got there to induce! I think haivng the MW I didn't like had a lot to do with that. By the next morning though, it was the good one who finally said the baby couldn't take the stress and I needed the c-sec. She even tried to tell the pedi on call in the OR that I wanted the baby to breastfeed right then and it was that pedi that was a real jerk. The next morning, it was the same MW that encouraged me to get pushy with the NICU staff about letting me hold the baby. Of course, once he's born, she has no real authority over the baby's care.

We did decide though that we should probably look for another provider. For one thing, having 1 out of 3 people not being completely on board with your decisions is hard to handle, no matter how nice the other 2 are. Also, the hospital they work out of does not allow VBACs because they lack 24/7 anesthesia. I'll have to use the other hospital where they have a nurse anesthetist working as a L&D nurse when the regular anesthesiologist is off duty. Also, the MW who taught our natural birth class that we took is a homebirth MW. We considered talking to her to see if she'd be willing to do it or maybe even just be a doula for us at the hospital. I go to a support group that includes one of the L&D nurses so next time we meet, I'm going to ask her how I should go about getting a list of providers with a good VBAC track record at the hospital. Those nurses seem to know more than anyone about such things. Its funny I have all this that I want to find out NOW and it's gonna be 2 years before we even want another baby. I guess I'll be well prepared!

Manda :)