Support for unwanted c section

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2009
Support for unwanted c section
7
Sun, 05-02-2010 - 8:56pm

So one of my EC buddies and I have found ourselves both in the situation of being in the final weeks of pregnancy and having to face c-sections which are not the way we wanted to go. For medical reasons each of us is unable to deliver vaginally, which was our first choice.


While I know some people here choose c sections voluntarily, I figure we can't be the only ones who have found ourselves at the 11th hour drastically re-writing our birth plans with a sense of grief or regret. What would those of you who have been in this boat reccommend? What advice do you have for getting over the disappointment and refocusing on the positives of the situation? I don't want to go into this process still feeling crushed. What choices do we still have about how our deliveries go? It feels like all decisions have been suddenly ripped out of my hands- what can I still determine for myself?


I guess in a nutshell what I want is tips for turning this into a positive experience. Tell me how you changed your outlook.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Sun, 05-02-2010 - 9:17pm

Okay, this is really long...sorry....C-sections were definitely not my choice...for one thing, I'm allergic to pain killers...SO my greatest hope was to have an unmedicated birth like my mom and grandmother were able to do (8 times between the two of them :)

Alas, my first pregnancy was a twin pregnancy...and both twins were breech...so although I hung on to hopes they'd flip, they never did...I stupidly didn't think to assert ANY rights, so my first experience was awful...if you'd like the WHOLE story, I'd happily share it with you on e-mail, but I've written it several times on this board, so I'm sure the ladies are tired of hearing it :)

My 2nd pregnancy, I was all set to VBAC. The hospital changed its policy at the 11th hour...I still had the option of switching ob's and hospitals, but I chose convenience and the familiar over the unknown. Here are some things I did to make the experience better. One, I asked for NO reglan..it's not necessary, some doctors use it, some don't...it tastes awful, and it's a crappy way to start your morning. Two, NO VISITORS. I know everyone is excited to see the baby and all, but you're going to be recovering from major abdominal surgery. You will be woozy from anesthesia, you'll be trying to care for a newborn (and if you're like me, attempting to nurse/pump for the first time)...I remember my first one only wanting to sleep, but no one would LEAVE. It was so frustrating...Plus I was sick from an allergic reaction so I got to puke in front of every one...(you'd think that would've cleared the room, but NOPE). Ask them to wait for a few hours after surgery before they come. Plus, if you're like me, my babies were in the NICU, so DH was having to take everyone into the nursery so they could see the babies...and I didn't get to see them until the next morning...can you say pissed off 1st time mom?? If you are feeling naueseous post op, ask for something for it right away. They can put a little zofran or something in thru your IV..it will make a world of difference. I didn't do this my first time, but my 2nd time it was written directly into my post op orders...It was much better the 2nd time around. Advise your ob and the nurses who prep you for surgery you want to breastfeed (if you do) so they can get baby to you as soon as possible. They will evaluate baby in the OR, and if all checks out, most hospitals will let you hold/nurse while you're in recovery (I wasn't so lucky, mine were sent to NICU, but...) Also, unless there is a medical reason (as in your health/baby's health) for you to c-section, do not let them schedule before 39 weeks. See if doctor will let you go into labor before c-section. Having had 2 babies on ventilators (one of my twins and DS) bc of resp distress due to c-section, you want baby's lungs as mature as possible!!!

I'm having my 3rd in August..I've actually hired a postpartum doula so she can help communicate my birth plan to the hospital. She is also a LC so she can assist me with nursing etc...Also, to make sure that should DH have to go to NICU with baby (again), I have someone there who can stay with me and know what's going on...(like not allowing the on call dr order demoral for me and cause me to have a severe allergic reaction....) My first c-section, my families weren't allowed in until DH was back from NICU, and by that time, I was covered in hives and sick from a medication I wasn't supposed to get...a doula typically gets to be with you thru the WHOLE ordeal..even in the OR whereas your mom can't...

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Sarah-busy mommy to Justin, Grace, Isabelle, Boyd, and expecting another miracle in August.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2009
Sun, 05-02-2010 - 11:10pm
The way it worked out, the date my own OB is available on call at the hospital is 2 days before my due date, so I'm more worried about going into labor ahead of time than having them want to go in to early. Thanks for the suggestions, I can see some of them being valid for me personally- Zofran has been my special friend for much of the pregnancy. I will talk to my doc about that getting written into the orders in case it becomes an issue.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 9:07pm

Great question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Wed, 05-05-2010 - 11:27pm

I just wanted to throw in that I was able to take a shower the morning after my c-section...I just had DH just stayed right outside the curtain if I needed help, and he did the drying off and stuff. Then he dressed me....

And to throw out another "personal experience," my milk came in after 2 or 3 days...but I was taking fenugreek (sp??) and drinking that "mother's milk" tea...the LC recommended it since I was pumping for a baby in the NICU...

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Sarah-busy mommy to Justin, Grace, Isabelle, Boyd, and expecting another miracle in August.Photobucket
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Tue, 05-11-2010 - 3:03pm

thanks for all the advice and thanks for posting the question :-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2009
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 2:46pm

I've had 3

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2004
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 4:20pm

thanks for your reply.

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