Tuesday Talk: Did you fear dying in childbirth?

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Tuesday Talk: Did you fear dying in childbirth?
23
Tue, 02-07-2012 - 9:08pm
Before, during, or after your delivery? Be they irrational fears, or fears due to traumatic events during your delivery and recovery, did you ever fear that you might actually die from childbirth? Do you think childbirth, and particularly c-section deliveries are taken seriously enough these days?
Photobucket

Pages

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Tue, 02-07-2012 - 9:17pm
I was very naive going in to my first delivery. I felt like it was natural, and it had been done for thousands of years, and the medicine of this time was so much better; I really wasn't afraid before.

After my traumatic first delivery that included a severe post partum hemorrhage, my viewpoint was MUCH different. I did have moments in my first delivery that I truly thought I might die.

And then a fear going in to each future delivery knowing that I truly was risking my life to deliver each child.

I was very scared with the c-section, but I did feel relatively comfortable that the procedure was common enough that my odds were good. But then I kept a fear afterwards about hemmorhaging again, and went into near panic when I did start hemmorhaging nearly a week out!

Childbirth is definitely serious, and there are many scary complications that can happen, and I have a pure awe at how many deliveries do go off so easily!! Miracles every day!!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 10:41am
Not in childbirth, no. I did fear for my daughter because there was a cord prolapse. With my son, I was worried I was going to die if I didn't deliver him.




Powered by CGISpy.com


Thanks

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 11:13am
Cord prolaspe is SO scary!! And so is Pre-E!! Truth is in both situations, it is a life or death scenario!!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 7:34pm

Not really. When I was at risk of dying (HELLP), I thought it was just nerves and never connected it with being pregnant (I was only 34 weeks along and had a sneaking feeling I'd never go into labor and would have to be induced. I was half-right.)

Cthulu Crochet

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 2:47pm
I did not fear anything until I was told I was being taken back for a c section. I think I first feared I would die when I stopped being able to breathe during surgery. Then when the baby was out and my MW got off my chest, and I realized I was still breathing, I felt better. Later, in my room, I guess I had a panic attack. I was burning up, had ice packs all over my body, and was in lots of pain. I thought I was dying then too. I *think that was psychological though. I honestly don't remember the nurses being concerned, so there must not have been anything actually wrong. Anyhow, it passed and after that I was no longer afraid of dying.

I do not think sections are taken as seriously as they should be. I read an article addressing the rising c/s rate l, possibly die to women's fear of pain during labor and opting for a c/s to avoid it. The article highlighted how it isn't the best option for most babies and how there are some risks and avoiding pain is not worth that risk. I really though it should have mentioned that there IS pain with a c/s too, it just all comes after the birth and can possibly last much longer than the pain of a vaginally birth. I know there are women who feel terrific after, but you are a very lucky few. I think women need to know that a section does not equal no pain. And it can cause more problems for both mom and baby, if it is not medically necessary.

Manda :)

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Fri, 02-10-2012 - 3:53pm

For me, and my choice to have a c-section, I cetainly didn't go in thinking that there was no pain involved, and I did have big fear about it. But, I just couldn't put myself through (again) what I had already been through in 2 of my 3 vaginal deliveries. They were too traumatic and scary for me, that I HAD to try to something different!

I certainly don't push people (especially one's who've never had any type of birth) to go the c-section route unless there is a very valid reason though. But, I do try to make people more comfortable about having a c-section, when there may not be any other option for them, if that makes sense. It's not a great choice, but it's good that it is an option when there really aren't any others.

With my first birth, the epidural wasn't working and I was in tremendous pain by the time I was pushing (had 18 hours of labor with him), and I pushed so hard, but nothing was really happening other than more pain in my pelvic bone as I tried to push him out. They ended up having to use forceps and literally yanked him out of me, and I don't think I felt like I was dying, but I didn't think they really were ever going to get him out. It was so painful and so awful.

But, what really sent me over the edge was that I did start to severely hemmorhage right after the delivery of my placenta. And there was definitely panic in the room (the delivery itself was stressful and panicked too because he was so difficult to get out). But, very quickly, I had nurses literally jumping on top of my stomach with their whole body trying to push down on my uterus, and the doctor yelling orders to get the D&C kit, and I was jabbed in both legs with shots of who knows what. There was a LOT of chaos going on in those moments, and I was in so much pain, I was so exhausted, I didn't know what was happening, and I was BEGGING these people to "Please STOP!" But, they couldn't because they had to get my bleeding under control. I could hear them discussing blood transfusions, and I was praying "please NO, please just let this be over". Thankfully, they decided to wait about the transfusions, and finally decided against them. But, I was weak for a VERY long time, and took a really long time to recover from that. And definitely, in those moments, I thought I might die, and even in the worst of it, kind of wanted to. :( It took them over an hour of working with me before things finally settled down.

With my 3rd vaginal delivery, I had a scary situation happen with my epidural placement. They went in a vein instead of the epidural space. I asked, "Is this the thing that causes spinal headaches?" And they said, "No, this is the thing that causes paralysis!" So, there was some very big concern following that. They had to pull the whole thing out and start over. Well, the 2nd time they tried, the epidural meds went into my chest, and caused my blood pressure to bottom out, and so there was instant panic in the room, and all I really remember from those moments was that I couldn't breathe because my chest got so heavy from the numbing medicine. So, that was scary.

Then the delivery itself was hard, it took me a long time to actually push him out because he was faced the wrong way, and there was intensity in that part for fear that he was stuck. The doctor had to stick his hand in and physically turn the baby as I pushed, and that was EXCRUCIATING! Just awful!!!

But, the biggest, biggest fear with that delivery came a few hours later. I had done ok, with the bleeding right after the delivery, but bled severely in the few hours past it. When the nurses came to check on me, I had bled all over the bed. The square pad thing they make you sit on was completely covered with blood to the point that it was even dripping to the floor. The nurses helped get me changed, and changed my bed, and blood continued to pour everywhere. And I ended up passing out on to the floor from the blood loss, and they had to get the doc back to the hospital, and do emergency treatments on me then. I don't remember a whole lot from thost moments, but I was definitely worried that I might die from the blood loss. It seriously looked like a murder scene!! It was really scary.

I've never been given good answers for my PP hemmorhages other than just a bum uterus that doesn't know how to act after deliveries. :(

But, for so many reasons, I just couldn't force myself to go through the possibility of my previous traumatic deliveries again. They were just awful, and that's why I opted for the c-section. I know it's not the best choice for most people, and I did know that I was taking a big gamble with it. But, I already knew what to expect from MY vaginal deliveries, and I just couldn't do it again.

Thankfully, my c-section was great. I do think everyone was taking extra care to do things really good for me given my previous history. I think, my doctor really wanted me to have a good experience knowing what I had been through before, and all the fear and trauma associated with it. Even still, I did end up having a PP hemmorhage a week out from my c-section too. But, we acted quick, and the doc was able to get the right meds in me before it became a crisis. But, yeah, after my other experiences, I was freaking out! (And so was my hubby! He took it probably worse than me!! LOL)

I truly before my first baby was born, never realized how serious and scary birth could be. Either people just never told me about it, or my experience was way off typical. I don't know, but I was VERY naive going in to my first delivery, but definitely knew what to expect by the 4th, and wasn't willing to go through that again if I could help it at all. :)

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 2:28pm

Now imagine, if you will, having a c-section without anesthetic. It hurt during, and afterwards, a lot. I can categorically say that I am NOT wired to pass out from pain. Worse, after the anesthesiologist cried to the room about the difficulties of dealing with scoliosis, the surgeon did not believe me when I told him he was hurting me, and yelled at me to shut up.

So at a party the lady says, "I thought a c-section was easy, they just put you to sleep and you wake up with a baby."

Cthulu Crochet

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 8:54pm
Who in the world would say such a thing?! Oh my goodness!!

My doc and anesthesia doc knew that was my biggest fear with the delivery since the epis didn't work in my vaginal deliveries, and they definitely were taking my pain control serious! Promised me they would knock me out at the first sign I felt anything. My spinal was perfect though!

I am so sorry you went thru that!! Don't even want to imagine!! That's just horrible!!
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998
Sat, 02-11-2012 - 9:31pm

My c-section was pretty hairy. After that, the VBAC was a breeze, even with the jerk doctor-on-call.

Cthulu Crochet

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 3:08pm
Man, you definitely got some winners!! UGH!!

My doc did the episiotomy with my first baby, but I still tore REALLY bad too. So, it just proves the episiotomy doesn't neccesarily save from tearing anyway.

I'm still horrified to think what your experience must have been like. So, sorry!!
Photobucket

Pages