Tuesday Talk: Did you fear dying in childbirth?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2008
Tuesday Talk: Did you fear dying in childbirth?
23
Tue, 02-07-2012 - 9:08pm
Before, during, or after your delivery? Be they irrational fears, or fears due to traumatic events during your delivery and recovery, did you ever fear that you might actually die from childbirth? Do you think childbirth, and particularly c-section deliveries are taken seriously enough these days?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 4:27pm

Most of what I hear says that the episiotomy only saves the doctor some time sewing you up -- it tends to promote tearing, but it is ALWAYS 2nd degree or more, whereas my tears were 1st degree and therefore less damage than if the doctor had her way. The other thing that causes tearing is the "encouragement" to get the baby out as fast as possible.

Cthulu Crochet

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2008
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 8:30pm
You're probably right!

All this "tear" talk is just... ouchies!!!! LOL It really does make me shudder just thinking about it!!

No one ever gave me a "degee" for my tear, but it was REALLY bad. It went all the way through the perineum, and up to my urethra. I thought they were never going to finish sewing me up, and because my epi had failed, I felt every single stitch. Torture, absolutely torture!! UGH!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 11:47pm

Someone wasn't on the ball there. You can get a local anesthetic, just like any other time you need stitches, and no reason not to. The only reason they wouldn't have done that is if they were convinced your epi was working despite what you told them. (I find it absolutely amazing all the people who will tell you what you are feeling, including doctors who think you have no pain nerves in your entire vagina -- "it's only pressure")

Cthulu Crochet

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2008
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 6:11pm
That was exactly what was going on there, CA_Dreamer!! The nurses kept trying to tell the doc that the epidural wasn't working as I was screaming out of my mind from the pain (this was all the way back to the pushing too), but he never tried to help by offering anything else. He only yelled at me to "get control of myself!" :( (That was the only baby of mine he delivered too, btw!)

Because my first birth did go so bad, it ruined my whole perspective about what birth could be. I couldn't trust a completely natural experience after that because I had endured so much pain from a medicated one. All I could think is that if it was that bad WITH medications, I don't even want to find out how bad it would be without!

Seriously, those stitches--I can't even think about though cause it was horrific!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 8:27pm

And here I thought I wasn't believed because I wasn't screaming.

Actually, I figured after a similar experience, I'd rather feel pain and have everybody know it than to be told to shut up because I had the nice drugs & nothing could be wrong. I was right; that was a lot better.

Cthulu Crochet

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 02-15-2012 - 11:20am
Jennifer, you are the woman for whom "optional" c sections are meant for! It makes complete sense as you have a history of traumatic deliveries and it really does mean a risk for your and your baby's life. It is important that women can choose a section in a position like yours.

Manda :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 02-15-2012 - 2:23pm
I can't imagine going through either of your experiences! I've been on several birth/vbac boards lately with complaints of male drs saying idiotic things about the whole birth experience. I know women can be just as harsh sometimes though and medical professionals can begin to feel a little too powerful and righteous. It does make it very difficult to overcome your fears when someone has disrespected you and de-valued you to that extent. When I was 10, on my first ever trip to the dentist (we had no insurance, so only went for emergencies), he filled 5 teeth while I cried that it still hurt. He told me I wasn't feeling pain, just "pressure." Funny how drs always call it "just a little pressure." When I hear that phrase, I brace myself because it always means PAIN. Anyway, I'm 29 now and still pop a vicodin to dull the pain and my nerves when I go to the dentist. My mom and I both have the same problem with not numbing completely. She actually passed out in the chair before the dentist believed she was in pain. Now I know that mouth pain is unbearable, but I could not imagine an experience like that involving my hoohah! Talk about needing therapy...

Manda :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Wed, 02-15-2012 - 3:05pm
Speaking of mouth pain, I had my wisdom teeth removed when I was 21. I only had two of them, but they were full bony impacted so they had to put me under and take some of my jaw with it (ouch!). I got dry socket, which is the worst thing ever. I seriously would go through my two c-sections again before I'd deal with that again.




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Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2008
Wed, 02-15-2012 - 6:39pm
Thank you for saying that, Manda!

I feel like that too, but I do feel sensitive still that people judge me for my choice without really understanding my prior experiences. I certainly don't condone people who have never tried a vaginal delivery to go that route though!! I mean, in MOST cases it really IS much easier all around!! ETA: I re-read this, and wasn't sure if my point came across correctly here. I think if people haven't had a baby at all, they shouldn't just choose a c-section just to get out of a vaginal delivery without a really valid reason why. I had a friend that seriously said she wanted a c-section for her first baby cause she was "too shy" to have a vaginal delivery! She didn't want people to "see" her down there! I assured her by that time, she'd be over that and wouldn't care who saw what if they could just get that baby out!! LOL Sadly, she went through a horrible induction that lasted many hours, spent 3-4 hours pushing, and still ended up delivering her baby by c-section. :(
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2008
Wed, 02-15-2012 - 6:44pm
Yeah, I came to the conclusion if that WAS pressure, it was the most PAINFUL pressure that I could ever imagine!! I mean, really. Who cares what you call it at that point!! LOL

I'm serious when I say, I can't even go back and think about that experience. It was awful!! And I HATE that that is how I feel about my first child's birth!!

And Holly, I think mouth pain is horrible too!! We talked about that before, I know. I had a tooth pulled and ended up with dry socket!! Oh my, misery!!! *shudder*

The only person who can really measure the pain of something is the one going through it!!
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