Tuesday Talk: Did you feel like you "gave birth"?

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Tuesday Talk: Did you feel like you "gave birth"?
22
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 6:42pm
Even though you delivered by c-section, did you still "feel" like you gave birth (which you obviously did), or did the surgical aspect disconnect you from the experience?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Sorry if this gets repetitive, but I think the mag made me feel more disconnected from both my cesarean births. In my second, I have huge gaps of time where I remember nothing, particularly when DH brought him to me to see him. And no one would help him take a pic of us, so there's no way for me to remember it.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998

Not freaking at all, though I don't think it had much to do with the fact that it was a c-section.

Cthulu Crochet

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
That magnesium sounds horrible, Holly!! I'm so sorry that you went thru that!!
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Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
It is really hard when the expectation doesn't even come close to reality! And oh those cameras can be so frustrating!! Even now that things are digital, it never fails that the battery will be dead or the card will be full!! UGH!!
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Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
I was really worried that by having a scheduled c-section that it wouldn't feel like a real birth to me, and make me feel disconnected from the baby. In that way, she gave me the gift of putting me in labor the day before the scheduled deliver, I guess. So I had a natural progression with the contractions, and was ready to get the baby out by the time they actually did the c-section. It didn't bother me to not "push" her out, because even though I was numb, I could still feel when she came out, and then heard her screams immediately! She was VERY mad when she came out! LOL And I definitely felt like I had given birth when the spinal was wearing off, no question something big had just happened to my body! LOL
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
No, to me "giving birth" has a connotation of action and choice and also of feeling alive. I felt none of those. Once I signed that consent form, I was no longer allowed to make decisions, and could do nothing, literally (numb and paralyzed) and figuratively (felt helpless and unvalued). There was a small moment of relief when he first cried, which was quickly dashed when I realized I was still not allowed to make decisions, even for my son. When I think back, I remember the joy during pregnancy, then a blur, and a few months later when we finally felt bonded. I feel like the whole birth and post partum experience is somehow missing. Almost like he was adopted. Although I'm sure it is nothing like an adoption, as I don't truly know how those moms feel, that's just what I imagine it to be like.

Manda :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007

What do you mean that you weren't allowed to make decisions? Do you mean that this was an overall sense you had after consenting to the surgery, or do you mean that there were instances in which you tried to act on his behalf and were denied?




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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Mag was designed by the devil himself. It makes you feel really tired and dizzy. My second hospital did not allow people to leave the bed while they were on it or for several hours afterward. This meant I was on a catheter for two days when my son was born, and for about 18 hours when he was a week old and I had to go back in. It makes you more sensitive to narcotics, so they have to be really careful and monitor you closely if you have an epidural. If you're on it long enough, it depresses your lung function. I was on supplemental oxygen for two days after each birth. If you're on it long enough, there is a risk of magnesium poisoning, which is bad enough for adults but can be really, really bad for babies. This was an argument in favor of me not staying pregnant for even one day longer than I had to. If I had to deliver within a couple days anyway, better earlier than later. Mag crosses the placenta and can really have a negative effect on babies, particularly worse the longer they're on it. It really, really sucks. I imagine my c-sections would probably have been nothing to write home to mother about if I hadn't had the mag.




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Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
I am SO sorry, Manda, that this is how your delivery felt for you!! That's not how it was supposed to be, and I really can't imagine!!! (((HUGS)))
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Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Wow, makes me all the more thankful to have not had to deal with the issues you did, Holly!! Again, I am so sorry that you had that experience!!

With the meds I had for my c-section, I felt completely coherent which was surprising for me. I expected to be knocked to the world pretty much that whole first day, but that's really not the case. I do have video from the first moments in my room holding the baby where I look "stoned" and I was obviously dozing in and out during that time. But, I had been contracting every 2-3 minutes for about a whole day prior to my c-section, and was up pretty much the whole night trying to shift positions and relieve the pressure, so I was EXHAUSTED by the time she was actually delivered. I think that was my biggest issue by that point, and not really the medications I was on, cause I do still remember the day.

How I wish that you could have had at least ONE experience that wasn't like that for you!! (((HUGS)))

I've still got high hopes for Manda's next delivery that she will get a VBAC, and get to retrieve the experience that she had originally planned to have!!
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