Tuesday Talk: Did you feel like you "gave birth"?

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Tuesday Talk: Did you feel like you "gave birth"?
22
Tue, 02-14-2012 - 6:42pm
Even though you delivered by c-section, did you still "feel" like you gave birth (which you obviously did), or did the surgical aspect disconnect you from the experience?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
The irony is that the c-section itself was pretty easy for me each time. The first time, I was kinda tired and they worked quickly. I had gone into labor at 11 pm and it was 5 pm that we agreed to the c/s for the cord prolapse. She was born at 6 pm. So I was exhausted and pretty sleepy at that point. The second time, I was fairly well-rested, as rested as you can be as sick as I was (recovering from the flu as well). It was pretty easy to climb onto the operating table and get my epidural. Then the delivery was fairly quick. They took awhile after that, I know he was born at 4:04 and I asked the anesthesiologist what time it was at some point and she said 4:45. I was really bored in there so I talked to the anesthesiologist about March Madness (NCAA basketball). I have a sufficiently positive memory of my epidural experiences that I have encouraged my husband to consider it the next time he requires a knee surgery.

I get kinda sad when I think about my birth experiences. I had a lot of agonizing after my first, as it had not gone well. I had big hopes for my second, a natural VBAC. But ultimately, all I wanted from my second birth experience was that it wouldn't be as bad as my first. In fact, it was worse. He was away from me for four hours after birth (and I don't remember seeing him for the first time). Then apparently I spent the next four hours holding him and apologizing to him. I'm not sure if I feel bad that I don't remember that, or happy that I don't remember that. This is compounded by the fact that there are no pics of me with him until two days after he was born.

I'm starting to just move on from it, though. Maybe the best thing of all is knowing that I'll never have to go through any of it again.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998

Now I was pretty easy with the idea that i'd "adopted" a baby who happened to be genetically related to me & the husband. A friend of the family had adopted her two children, and she certainly was their mother. However, the timing was pretty bad, coming right when I had just had a nasty surgery & all.

Cthulu Crochet

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Not ever going through it again is a HUGE plus!! I knew going in to my last delivery I was OVER the whole birth experience, and just wished so bad there was an option of still getting that baby out without having to go thru birth of any kind! LOL Obviously there wasn't, but I too am VERY glad I will never go thru another delivery now!! I will always be sad to never experience pregnancy or a new baby again, but I won't miss going thru another delivery one bit!!! LOL
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Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
I can understand the "adopted" baby feeling too, and that was, I guess, the disconnect I worried about by just walking in at a scheduled time, having surgery, and then being handed a baby and being told it had just came out of me.

I did have a little disconnect from my last baby for a bit for a whole different reason though. I waited to find out the gender till the delivery, and I knew what my others were before delivery, so it took me a while to really get used to my baby actually having an actual gender cause up till then every time I planned for or thought about the baby, it was gender neutral. That part affected me much different than I had expected it to, and I did feel for a while like I was taking care of someone else's baby. I loved her, for sure, but she did seem so foreign to me too! I don't feel that way at all now though!! That is MY baby girl! :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
I had that disconnect with my first, Jennifer. Inside, my daughter was crazy active all the way to the end of the pregnancy. Outside, she was very sleepy and mellow. My son was very different. He was equally active (I had an anterior placenta so I didn't feel it quite so much), but he was always pressing out in the same place. I know now that he was always stretching out his long legs in the same place. It was clear that he was the same baby because he would lay upright with his upper body on my chest and then stand up with his legs. Even at 1-2 days old he did this.




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Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Awwww! He is such a sweetheart!!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Holly, to be more specific, my MW told the pedi that I was breastfeeding, so to give the baby to me asap. Her reply was that "it ain't happening." She said he had fluid in his lungs and needed xrays. Well, she whisked him away and to the nicu. I found out in recovery that's his chest was clear but they decided to do blood tests ( never told me why they did that) and his blood sugar was off and platelets were off, temp was unstable and oxygen levels low. They started antibiotics, oxygen, fluids, feeding tube of formula. I was not allowed to hold him and had to fight my nurse to even be taken to see him was not allowed to BF for 2 days. Each of his problems began to resolve when I held him the next day and everything resolved completely the day after that when we finally BFed. I was pissed that all those interventions happened without so much as telling me about them. They were not life saving as he was essentially "doing fine" according to the nurse. I had also specifically said no formula and ky MW had told the pedi in my presence, the same.

Manda :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
I can't imagine what the mag must have been like for you, Holly. I guess I can count myself lucky that I didn't have to go through anything like that.

Manda :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
I guess I can kinda say the same. I think I might have been a mushroom cloud of anger if that had happened to me. I was not particularly happy with the bf help I got at my first hospital. So I chose for my second hospital one with a baby friendly designation. So then when I really needed to supplement him with formula (I hated that but had no realistic alternatives), I had to fight for it but at least they weren't trying to foist it upon me.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Yeah, this hospital, or more specifically, that pedi sucked at the whole attachment/bonding/breastfeeding/healthy baby connection thing. Pissed me off that all he needed was some boob and it was "against policy" to allow a baby with feeding tube and oxygen to be BFed. I did however have a good lactation consultant from my MW's practice come see me each day and a nurse who helped me learn to pump for him. My friend had a different experience with her nurse though. Same hospital, easy, natural delivery. As she was working at getting baby latched on, the nurse kept pushing her to give him a bottle of formula instead. My friend knew what to do though and was patiently working with her baby when the nurse walked up and SQUIRTED formula in his mouth while she was trying to get him to latch! She was asked (not politely) to leave the room.

Manda :)