Tuesday Talk~11/15 What if your religious convictions...

Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
Tuesday Talk~11/15 What if your religious convictions...
8
Tue, 11-15-2011 - 10:42am

prohibitted you from using b/c to prevent pregnancies?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
It's hard for me to say, because I just don't have those beliefs. Even when I was a very fervent believer in a particular Christian sect, that sect taught me that I had free will and was born with a brain, I should use it. If I was in her position (and I was, only not at 25 weeks), I would seriously reconsider whether another pregnancy would be safe for me or the baby, regardless of my beliefs. She believes in not using contraception and having a lot of kids. She's had a lot of kids. But if she gets pre-e again (which is likely, she's had it another time as well), she might not come out of it whole, nor the baby she carries. I know several women who had pre-e and quit, and precious few who got pre-e three or more times. There's a reason for that.




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Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
I know, that's the hard part, putting ourselves in the position to "feel" the way about the contraception that they obviously do.

I think many of us have indeed put our lives at risk for the sake of having the family that we have dreamed of. Most of us though do NOT want a family that consists of that many pregnancies and children!!

After my very difficult 3rd pregnancy, I had many people (including members of my nursing staff and doctors) tell me that all of my issues were probably my body's way of telling me that I should be done having kids. So, to say that the decision to have #4 was difficult, is quite an understatement. I knew though that no matter how things turned out, if I made it through #4, then I needed to be done. My body couldn't handle any more pregnancies/deliveries, it was unfair to the family & friends who had to step in and help during those times to get me through them, and it was unfair to my current children to put my life (and their mother) at risk for the sake of having more children.

If I felt burdened by contraceptives the way the Duggars do though, I think I'd be praying really hard that God would close my womb for me!! And I would be following as much natural family planning methods as I could.

As a Christian, myself, I admire the faith they have in their convictions, cause I know I wouldn't be able to follow through if I was asked to do such a thing. But, I also think they must have always been ok with the idea of such a large family and numerous pregnancies, or else I doubt they would be led in that direction anyway. I think we each have our own personal convictions, and we must follow through with the ways that we believe are right even if it doesn't fall in-line with society's norms. Their faith has obviously been rewarded, and I do truly hope that she and her newest baby will make it through this pregnancy safe and healthy. (And I should also say, that I'm really glad it's her and not me!!! Seriously can't imagine!! LOL)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2007
I also do not have the same beliefs as they do so it's hard to relate. But what i can say is that it clearly appears to me as though they try to have children as apposed to leaving it "up to God" as they say they do. To each their own, i just hope that mom and baby are ok, and that all see this through to full term as healthy as possible.
pregnancy due date
Community Leader
Registered: 01-19-2008
That is a VERY good point, tpav!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003

From what I understand, abstinence is still acceptable, even for religions that don't believe in BC. I would do everything I could to prevent getting pregnant again when it came down to my health at that serious of a level. At her age, she's literally spent half of her life pregnant and nursing. Her body has got to be completely worn out as well as nutritionally depleted. I am already so afraid of something bad happening to me. What would DH do? How would he care for LO? More importantly, WHO would care for LO? Of course, in the Duggars' case, I have a feeling not a whole lot would change since the big sisters do a big chunk of the kid-raising themselves.

In college I had to take a multicultural education class and part of the research we did was on the effect of local religious and cultural beliefs on kids. Living in the Southwest, much of the population is of Mexican heritage where Catholicism is very strong. Many women, especially in southern California have resorted to getting hysterectomies in secret (keeping it from husbands and their church), while out of town "visiting a sister" or even directly after the birth of a child because they were just too worn out and too poor to keep raising more kids. Of course, I have a problem with a culture that makes it a sin to practice birth control yet

Manda :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
And another thing... ;)

It DOES seem like they are TRYING to have lots of kids, doesn't it! I wonder how far apart all her kids are? If she were doing this a few hundred years ago, her kids would all be a couple years apart because she'd be BFing for longer and would probably have fewer children. Makes you wonder if she stops BFing at that 1yr mark in order to get knocked up again. Hmmm...

It just doesn't make sense to me that people in this day would choose to live this way, especially knowing what we know about blood pressure, complications and such. I mean, my MIL is one of 17 kids (22 if you count the ones who didn't make it to adulthood) but that was 50 yrs ago in Mexico in a farming/ranching community. Having kids was kind of like insurance to them. Boys to work the farm when dad got too old and girls to take care of mom when she got too old.

Manda :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2007
There are lots of Catholics that use Natural Family Planning, and while not fool proof, it does work. It works to get you pregnant and it works just as well to prevent it. I don't want to be judgemental of them bc I'm sure they love their children and each other and they provide for the family which is good. I just couldn't do it, if my MW ever tells me that I shouldn't have any more kids it will be a hard pill to swallow but I would do my best to prevent another pregnancy (Tubal or Vasectomy just isnt for us). I would think that God sent the good MW to tell me to avoid another pg so that i can be here for the children i do have. I do think that people can be addicted to having children, like Octomom for example, maybe thats the case here.
pregnancy due date
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998

I grew up in a very Catholic neighborhood, and belonged to the 2nd largest family I knew of (with 4 kids). The largest family had 7 kids. I suspect most of the neighbors totally ignored the "my religion forbids BC".

It's also possible, in that era, that the doctors decided when a woman had "enough" children and told her that it was unsafe and she "had" to use birth control.

The traditional "no birth control" stance, being also against sterilization & condoms and the pill (which, as best as I understand, stops ovulation) , is unsupportable from a logic standpoint -- no matter when you believe life begins, those

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