What Having a C-Section Taught Me About Motherhood

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
What Having a C-Section Taught Me About Motherhood
Mon, 11-12-2012 - 2:27pm

In her first exclusive blog for the iVillage series CelebVillage, actress Tia Mowry -- who stars on the Style Network reality show Tia & Tamera -- reflects on how having her 16-month-old son Cree (with actor husband Cory Hardrict) via Caesarean made her feel like less than a woman -- and the lesson it taught her about motherhood.

You see, I always thought like many other women that if you gave birth the natural way, that's what made you a woman. Giving birth the natural way was a passage every woman should take in order to experience what being a woman was all about. I mean, I meet women all the time who are making it happen with no epidural and no drugs, just by breathing and pushing -- all natural.

But that did not happen for me. I remember asking, what did I do wrong?

Tia Mowry: What Having a Cesarean Taught Me About Motherhood- http://www.ivillage.com/tia-mowry-blog-having-c-section/1-a-500682#axzz2C0vKrYYk
Can you relate to how she was feeling? Did you feel the same way after giving birth to your child via cesarean?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998
Mon, 11-12-2012 - 10:23pm

No, actually I didn't feel that way. My c-section was a horrible, traumatic experience and I was too busy surviving it to give a hoot about whether I needed credentials to be a woman or not. I have two X chromosomes. I also have an engineering degree, a (resigned) military commission and a day job. People who think they have to "prove" they are real anything by being "like everyone else" are insecure.

Cthulu Crochet

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2008

I hate that anyone would feel this way after their delivery.  Just sad, and another side-effect of competitive mothering that doesn't do anyone any good.  :( 

I worried that I wouldn't feel like I had actually "given birth" to my child, if I had a c-section and that there might be a disconnect from them because of that.  But, that's not the way I feel at all, and there are times I even forget that she actually was delivered that way.  The moment of her birth was still very special and real as my other deliveries (that were vaginal).  One moment she was snuggled in my belly, and I was full of the anticipation of meeting her, and the next she was out and screaming and I was just in total awe yet again at the beautiful new life that I had a part in making.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2007
Sat, 11-17-2012 - 10:54pm
Uh, no. Not at all, actually. I had my first c/s due to a cord prolapse and the second (also unplanned), due to severe pre-e necessitating a premature delivery. C-sections just seemed like part of the complication process. Cord prolapse and pre-eclampsia didn't take away my womanhood, as if something could. Why would a c/s?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 02-26-2013 - 10:44am

Absolutely not! My c-section started as scheduled & elective but it would have turned into an emergency had I planned on attempting a vaginal delivery since my son was frank breech. I had a wonderful pain free birth and recovery was also pain free. The discomfort I felt post op was comparable to having sore abs. Mode of delivery does not make you more or less of a woman/mother. So with this line of thinking are we to assume that infertile or child free by choice women aren't real women?