My friend doesn't want her husband to be there for her labour & delivery?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2011
My friend doesn't want her husband to be there for her labour & delivery?!
7
Mon, 10-24-2011 - 3:41pm

Okay, so my girlfriend is 8 months pregnant, and she just told me that she doesn't want her husband to be with her when she gives birth to their first child. She's worried that he'll never look at her the same way if he sees her give birth. I am completely baffled by this and I told her that it's an amazing experience and that he should be there to give her support, but nothing doing. Her husband doesn't seem to care either way. I think that they will both regret it if he isn't there for the delivery. Am I out to lunch?

Community Leader
Registered: 04-18-2003

Yes.

Gail

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998

Maybe she knows him better than you do. I didn't want my mother with me (though that turned out to be rendered completely irrelevant) but did want my MIL (also irrelevant, sadly) because of who they were, and how I thought things were likely to play. It wasn't a question of love.

Cthulu Crochet

Community Leader
Registered: 04-18-2003

Exactly.

Gail

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998

There are times NOT to be chirpy. If I'd been less devistated after the birth if the first kid, I would have torn the nice chirpy nurse a new one.

Cthulu Crochet

Community Leader
Registered: 04-18-2003

OH God no!

Gail

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
I chose not to have DH with me as I birthed our 2nd. He was having a rough time with PTSD (from the Iraq war), and was uneasy about seeing the "blood and guts" that accompany birth. Given that he has seen friends die & retrieved body parts, I felt that him being at greater ease (focusing on caring for our then 1 year old) would allow me to be at greater ease. I was right- labor was less than an hour by the time I realized I was in labor, and it was a wonderfully empowering home birth experience. He rushed in as soon as he heard our son cry, and cut the cord later on after it stopped pulsing. So, he wasn't robbed of the entire birth experience. This time, he would like to be a true labor partner & in the water to catch our baby as she comes out... What a difference a year and a half of healing can make.

Health & Happiness!
And wishing your friend a wonderful birth!
Health & Happiness! Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
Community Leader
Registered: 04-18-2003

What a beautiful inspirational story of love and respect.

Gail