When does it get better?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2012
When does it get better?
1
Mon, 03-19-2012 - 1:19am

I had my daughter 6 weeks ago and I had what I assumed was just the "baby blues" and thought it would go away soon. It actually did for a few weeks... then it came back and is just getting worse everyday. I feel like a terrible mom, I just want to get away from her most of the time. When she starts getting fussy its almost like I'm genuinely mad at her, which I know is irrational, she can't help it. I just want my old life back. I have trouble falling asleep even though I'm always exhauted, I'm just completely miserable and don't know what to do anymore. I can't make her happy and I feel like she's picking up on all of this somehow. I know I need to talk to my dr. at my next appt. which is in just a few days, but I'm embarrassed to. When I mention it to my husband I worry that he's just going to think I'm complaining too much, even though I know he's incredibly supportive. He just can't help with this and I really don't want him thinking that I'm a bad mom. I'm trying to feel better or at least be able to put on a show of feeling better but its just getting harder and harder to pretend. I'll be holding her and she'll start crying and I just give up on trying to make her stop, I'll find myself just staring off while she's screaming in my arms.

I know this is all jumbled but that's just how its coming out. I do plan on talking to my dr. I just really don't want to be put on medicine, but as it stands I feel like this is literally killing me. How long can this really last before I'm completely insane?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2008
Tue, 03-20-2012 - 9:03pm
Oh oh oh sweetheart. Hugs !!!!!!!!! This was me with my first. Ok- I will start off with it DOES get better. It really does. I promise. It is not an easy path. But it honestly does get better First step- just tell your doctor. Write it out if it's easier. I did that. My ob has a website you can make an appt thru and 2am I was in meltdown mode and wrote it all out and sent it before I could change my mind. I'm sure you have the ppd screening test when u walk in? Answer totally honest. My stubborn a** was crying while sugar coating my answers and my heart sank and I felt crushed when they didn't read my mind and know I was screaming for help inside. Please don't do that. I didn't want to do medicine either. But -- it's made oodles of difference!!! Its not a bad thing. It's not. If a pill helps you feel like a normal person and helps you bond with your daughter- then maybe Its not so bad? If you had any other medical condition under the sun would you reject medication? Would you say no to insulin if your body couldn't process sugar? Why would you turn down something that would help your body function properly after the crazy change it's been through ? Please talk to people. Talk to your hubby. Mom. Sister. Anyone close to you. Again. Write it out if it's easier. I know it's hard to say what you're thinking when what you're thinking doesn't necessarily make sense to those that aren't living in the fog. I really wish all of us lived close and could just hop in the car and help each other out and give hugs as needed. In upstate ny by chance ? Lol Please check back after you talk to your doctor. And please do that. Talk to your doctor. Please. I am attached to my phone. Please pm me if you just need to vent or babble or just talk to someone. Please promise me that. I will gladly talk you through any crying. Fit or crying jag of yours or hers
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