new and need some help

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2007
new and need some help
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 12:34am


I'm new and have a very lengthy story that I will keep short. I guess i just need to tell my story/situation to women who may understand and may be able to arm me with better information or suggestions.

I guess I may be talking about this alittle early in my pregnancy, I'm currently 16 weeks along. But I need to have a decision made by March so I only have a really a few weeks to decided.

So here goes..... In Feb. 2007 I found out I was pg with my son. But at 27.6 wks he had passed and I delivered him (vaginally# stillborn. There was no cause for the demise. No cord accident was involved, and all tests came back normal. Doctor's wrote it off as a fluke. In Jan. 2008, 5 months after my son was stillborn, I found out I was pg again with my daughter. With her pregnancy at 30 weeks had false labor, but still received


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-1998
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 10:46am

Ok. You're in luck I decided to read this, because I had some rough & similar times with my (successful) VBAC.

I do not trust what you've said about your doctors. They may like to schedule early, but there is no good reason for it, and if you have a reason to expect trouble, anyone deserving of a license can get a c-section done IMMEDIATELY. (My c-section was at 34 weeks, and scheduled THAT DAY with no prior warnings of trouble*). Telling you that it's 3 months or risk not being able to do it is total BS and a very transparent pressure tactic. You may want to take your time NOW and shop around for a more positive doctor. I think you are right; they are pushing for a c-section without being clear enough so that you might consider choosing a different practice. (This is unfortunately VERY common)

What should you look for in choosing a physician? When things have gone wrong in the way you have experienced, your requirements for the doctor are different. I did luck out on the doctor that was recommended by my friend. In a situation with many unknowns, you want, above all, the straight story. Get comfort from someone else, but the doctor should be very clear not only on the facts, but on where the "knowable" ends. I saw how my doctor handled life-and-death with my c-section, and it was good; all business, no excuses, and no dramatization before or after. Anything making you suspect they may be shading the truth for your benefit will only get worse as the time to birth gets closer.

I don't recommend your plan of scheduling a c-section at 39 weeks. That particular time limit has nothing to do with anything. If you're relying on luck or divine intervention to make the coin toss come out right, you don't need a scheduled date at all (and that is all your tentative plan amounts to.)

* Just so you know where I'm coming from -- Exactly one week after the "perfect" appointment (and we were just beginning to say "after the next, you'll come in every week) I developed HELLP and had to have the baby immediately. It was my doctor's day off, and a very bored receptionist would NOT let me come in. "Go to the ER if it's THAT important." When I did, the diagnosis took three hours, and the c-section was scheduled less than 1/2 hour later.

Cthulu Crochet

Cthulu Crochet

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2009
Sun, 01-03-2010 - 1:54pm

Hi Laura,

Welcome to the board!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2007
Mon, 01-04-2010 - 2:25pm

Hi, I have never been to this board, saw it and thought I would lurk when I read your post. I just want to tell you that I am very sorry about your loss, and the complicated delivery of your second born. I know you are in a position right now where things are scary. I can relate because I had a similar story.

My firstborn son was born alive at 38.5 weeks via c-section because he was breech. Doctors originally scheduled the surgery after trying to flip him when I was 37 weeks (to no avail). The surgery was scheduled for 39 weeks. I went into labor early, went in, and they just did the section. There were no complications.

A year and a half later, I was pregnant again with our second son. He stopped moving one day at 23 weeks. I went in that night to just check the heartbeat for peace of mind and there wasn't one. He was gone. They induced me into labor the next day and I gave birth (vaginally) to Elijah born at 1 lb and 11 inches long. 3 months later, test results and an autopsy showed that he died from a blood clot in the placenta which was produced by 2 clotting disorders that I never knew I had. They are genetic, and for some reason, they become more dangerous during pregnancy and can cause clotting when they shouldn't. I found out that during a future pregnancy, I would be able to take Lovenox, which is a low molecular weight heparin that causes the blood to keep from clotting in times it shouldn't.

I became pregnant shortly after that, miscarried at 8 weeks, and was devastated. FINALLY, in June of 2008, I found out I was pregnant again. I found a doctor who gives ultrasounds at every visit. That was very helpful for me. I also consulted again with another high risk doctor (Maternal Fetal Medicine) after consulting with like 4 others at the time of Elijah's death. Everyone said the same thing... As long as I gave myself the Lovenox shots, I should be fine. So, it was a long road, which I know you are very familiar with, and a daily struggle to not be afraid. I was told I could have a VBAC, or a planned c-section. Because of the Lovenox, I found out that I needed to be induced no later than 39 weeks. My doctor doesn't like to wait that long because he likes people to stop taking it before giving birth to eliminate complications from the blood thinner if they need a c-section, or an epidural. So, he told me he would induce me at exactly 38 weeks. I was super thankful. We talked a lot about he c-section verses VBAC. He highly recommended the VBAC, or at least that I would try it. I was very nervous. I felt that I would rather have surgery for awhile, but decided the VBAC because he told me that he would do whatever I wanted, and never put a time limit on me. I decided to go for it. Well, I am happy to say that my induction was planned for 38 weeks, but I went into labor at 37.5 weeks on my own and gave birth to Nehemiah on Feb 20th 2009. The birth was text book. I was monitored with fetal monitors the whole time. His heart rate never dipped. They even used Pitocin on me to regulate my contractions. I had an epidural, and everything went well. It was a VBAC because the 23 week birth did not count as a VBAC. Regardless, I would have wanted monitoring. All this to say, I agree with the others that you should find another doctor. There are wonderful doctors out there that aren't so extremely busy that they have to schedule 3 months in advance. To me, that is totally not fair to tell someone like you who has had complications. Just out of curiosity, did your doctor tell you that, or did the receptionist. I am realizing more and more that receptionists tell patients things that doctors don't even want them to. Anyways, switch doctors, and look for one who will be more sensitive to your needs. Tell them that you want to try a VBAC but you are scared. Ask for more information about it again.

Oh, and hey, you should check out the pregnant after stillbirth board. They are extremely supportive and helpful. Women from all walks of life show up there and encourage each other. Some of them might be a great help to you too. I can relate to being afraid and nervous. The truth is, a mother should have the right to make decisions and change her mind while getting closer to the due date. ESPECIALLY if you have lost one, and have had a very complicated delivery in the past. Your circumstances warrant more sympathy and understanding from a doctor. If you aren't getting that, find someone else. You will feel better and won't be sorry. Good luck with your decision. I hope this pregnancy is very uneventful for you.


DaisypathAnniversary Years Ticker

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:16am

Was reading your post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2007
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 9:36am
Hi. I did have my baby. I was induced on May 28 (37 weeks). That morning I woke up with contractions 5 mins apart. By the time I got to the hospital i was 3cm dilated but the contractions had slowed down. So they broke my water. My contractions didnt pick back up so we decided to use Pitocin. That got things moving. They let me stay on the piton for 5 hours. My contractions were 1 1/2 - 2 mins apart. When doctor came into check me he said at this point looking at the contractions I should be about 7cm dilated but when he checked I was still at 3cm. So at that point we decided to just go with the c-section bc I had labored for 10hrs. My water was broken, and I hasn't progressed. So I ende up with another section. Very disappointing. Turns up, when they went to get her out, her head was turned sideways so she was ne'er going to come out. I wish they would have let me go alittle further in my pregnancy but because I had a stillborn in 2008 they won't let me go any further then 37 weeks. But good news is doctor said I can have 2 more c-sections if I want.
Thanks for checking in. Sorry I don't have a successful vbac story for you!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 11:22am

Please don't be "sorry" for not having a good VBAC story.