Trying for VBAC questions (M)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Trying for VBAC questions (M)
6
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 9:08am
Okay - I have done lots of research and I really want to try for a VBAC. I have also started interviewing doula's. Based on what I have read, I will only have a non-medicated vbac. I will not allow any induction and no epidural. This is the only way I feel comfortable with trying a VBAC. My husband is rather unsupportive and honestly, I am afraid I will not be able to do it. When laboring with my son I was only at 2 centimeters when I got my epidural and let me tell you I really thought I was going to die from the pain before I got it. Obviously, I didn't realize the risks associated with getting an epidural so early or I would have never done it. So, my question is, how do I do this un-medicated if I could barely stand it last time? Also, I am afraid to do it without the support of my dh. What if something really horrible happens, I could see that putting a huge rift in a relationship. Any thoughts on how to get him to be more supportive?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 10:40am
My humble opinion is that you need to start by breaking the fear/pain cycle. There are several books and classes out there on how to let go of the fears. I've been reading "Birthing from Within" and for me it's been a good place to start. Learning to visualize yourself succeeding can be difficult, but it can also help you start to figure out how to handle the pain part of it. Bradley, hypnobirthing, other methods are out there to help deal with the pain--but if you're still afraid of it, it will be much more difficult for you to deal with.

As far as your DH goes, can you sit down and talk with him about why this is important to you? Take an hour or two, show him the research, tell him what it means to you and your family. My DH was fairly neutral in the beginning, he liked the idea of being able to schedule when the baby was born. I showed him the data as far as risks go, talked to him about what I saw as the main advantages (for me, having surgery is a big minus, and the longer recovery time of a c/s with a toddler in the house is another. Also, I think the emotional and physical aspects of the c/s were at least partial triggers for my PPD).

Just some suggestions--best wishes in your quest!

Amy, mom to Gabriel (c/s, CPD) and oven to bun #2 (EDD 6/6/03)

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Registered: 07-21-1998
Fri, 03-28-2003 - 12:10pm
Bradley class was very good for me. You take it with DH, so he's likely to "get with the program" (Mine was more of a "I don't tell you what to do with your body" kind, but he learned a lot). There's a LOT of info on what happens in an unmedicated childbirth, why you shouldn't just have "the works", and how to recognise & what to do about normal childbirth pains. The videos are very explicit, and good for routing the fear that comes with unfamiliarity.
Cthulu Crochet

Avatar for jennhh
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 2:46pm
I just had an unmedicated VBAC and it was the most incredible experience of my life. I used hypnobirthing and really had no pain at all. (In my first birth, it was excrutiating and I had an epi at 5 cm.)

I agree with the other posters that letting go of fear is very important. I worked on that a lot with my hypnobirthing. There is a board for hypnobirthing where you can get more info if you are interested.

As far as getting DH on board, I think it always helps to first understand where he is coming from. What does he want for himself, for you, for the baby in the next birth? If he truly just wants a c/s for his own convenience, maybe he will be able to put things in perspective once he understands how you feel and what you want from this birth. If you can't seem to bring him around, I think it is perfectly OK to have another person as your labor support.

Good luck to you!

Jenn

mommy to Haley 3/13/03 VBAC and Jessee 10/31/00

Jenn
Avatar for mommakat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 04-06-2003 - 7:56am
Get that doula! Sorry you are worrying that dh won't be supportive. Mine will liekly do the same-he can not fight for himself, so I know he can not fight for me. He is likely to cave into anything the doctors say and undermine my challenging him/her, not even knowing anything about what I am fighting for. I am trying to do the same, no epidural, etc. We can do it. My mother did it five times! He sister did it 9 times! I know we can do it! I think also inviting a super supportive friend can help tremendosly, if you have such a person.

BEst of luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 8:59am
You might want to consider taking a good birth education class ~Bradley or Birthing From Within will probably be your best bet. A doula can be a huge plus in any labor, but especially if your dh isn't behind you 100%. I would also recomend finding a supportive caregiver (preferably a midwife) and have your dh included in all prenatal appointments. Give him the oppurtunity to ask questions and make decisions. If he begins to truly support vbac and sees it as the safest way to bring your child in to the world he is more likely to be supportive during your labor.

hth,

Christina

~Christina~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Thu, 04-10-2003 - 4:47pm
More power to you if you feel you can do without meds, i had a vbac and never thought about having a repeat c-section i had a epidural and got relief. Tell him your strong and you need his support. i never went to a birthing class i thought i would be fine with the meds but there was a hour wait for the epidural doc to get to hospital and the nurse helped me get threw it with those breathing patterns i strongly suggest it