Pregnant and...a bridesmaid!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Pregnant and...a bridesmaid!
Thu, 01-31-2013 - 4:06pm

My good friend is getting married in October and asked me back in the fall if I wanted to be her bridesmaid...of course I said yes, but now I'm nervous about a few things.  I'm almost 14 weeks and we just started telling family because we are officially "over the hump," but I will also need to tell her.  I am due at the beginning of August (this is my second child) so I'm thinking I should be able to lose most of any weight I gain by the middle of October, yes? With my first baby, I didn't even gain 20 lbs and lost most of it before we even left the hospital but I keep hearing the second one is different.  I'm supposed to go dress shopping with her and the rest of the bridesmaids in two weeks and I'm not sure how to order a dress! I haven't put on a pound yet but my belly is already starting to grow (I'm not sure how that's happening, honestly).  How should I order my dress and will there be time for alterations if need be???  

I'm also a little worried about how she's really going to take this news.  She made her engagement announcement late summer/early fall.  In December, she told me her cousin is getting married too, and had just announced HER engagement.  I thought that would be exciting, however she took it as her cousing trying to "steal her thunder."  I'm BOGGLED by this...if her cousins boyfriend proposed to her, did she expect her cousin to say "no" because she was already engaged??!!  Seems rather selfish to me.  But as a result of this, I'm thinking she's not going to be thrilled about my pregnancy.  I realize it's my life and I cannot put my life on hold for her, but how do I deal with this if I get the cold shoulder from her when I tell her?!  (I know, I know...maybe I'm being hormonal already!!! But I still think she was out of line with the situation with her cousin!)  :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2000
Sun, 02-03-2013 - 9:05pm

Oh, that's a hard one.  I think I would go ahead and order the dress a size larger than you normally would since it's much easier to alter something that's too big than it is something that's too small.  It sounds like you'll have about two and a half months between the birth of the baby and the wedding.  It will be enough time to lose some of the weight,'s so hard to know for sure.  I bounced back pretty fast after both of my children's births, but I don't think anyone can say for sure what's going to happen. 

As far as your friend not taking the news well, that's just not something you can control.  If she reacted so dramatically to her cousin's announcement, it doesn't sound like she's being very rational.  A lot of brides seem to lose a bit of empathy and consideration for others when they're planning a wedding (at least that's been my experience).  If she gives you the cold shoulder about it, I would probably apologize and tell her it might not be a great idea for you to be in the wedding.  Is she normally a pretty understanding person?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2013
Sun, 02-10-2013 - 11:38pm

I'm thinking about this too. We're thinking of trying for our first, but I'm the MOH in a friend's wedding this summer. She really wants the huge bachelorette party and all that, so I'm worried about what she will say if I would be pregnant by then. I can't imagine she would be very happy with the situation... Is it unfair of me to expect her to be okay with it... or should I not have to put my life on hold for someone else's wedding? I feel like I'm kind of using the wedding as an excuse because I'm scared of all the unknowns that come with being a first time parent.