Dad going into nursing home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Dad going into nursing home.
Sun, 03-23-2014 - 9:14pm

I have mentioned in the past about my dads problems and having traveled that road before DH and I thought that he needed full time care.  My olders sister (his main care-giver) did now agree beause "he still has good and bad days".  She is finallly in agreement, one of the last things to swing her that way was him not recognizing the house that he hase lived in for over 50 years.  She was complaining that my DH and my brother would not take him home and he wanted to go home.    The place she found  for him seems nice.  He has lived most of his live in the country  and I was concerned that he would have to move into town but it is in the country only about 4-5 miles from where he lives. It has nice grounds with a creek and walking trail.  My younger sister is being a shit.  She was inagreement with myself and my brother that this needed to be done. Now that it is happening she is complaining that they are taking her money,.  It is not her money, it is dads and they are not taking it, he is paying them for  a  service. 

Avatar for nora_mcl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
Sun, 03-23-2014 - 9:31pm

I do not know of anything more divisive in a family than this decision. Hugs to you, 'nester. It's good that your sister has the support of most of you-your youngest sister will just have to get accustomed to the fact that he needs more care than anyone can provide alone. I hope he settles in well & that all (including her)can relax a bit & he can enjoy whatever years he has left.

Hugs to all of you-& to your father too.


Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Tue, 03-25-2014 - 1:17am

"Nester, sorry to hear that you are having to deal with these problems. Things can get dicey when it comes to an anticipated inheritance. I hope that your dad is comfortable at the nursing home. It will probably be a relief for your oldest sister and you to know that he is being cared for round the clock by professionals. When will you go up there to see him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Tue, 03-25-2014 - 8:12am

We are headed up there in May.

As I told my sister once you get to the point of not recognizing your own home the location of where you are is less important that getting the care that you need. I think that he will like it there and the socialization will be good for him. 

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 03-26-2014 - 12:09pm

Best of luck with it all - there are definitely some around here (STL and Chicago based on experience and that of friends) that take constant looking in on to make sure the care stays good vs. the initial impression made.