Marriage Proposals

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Marriage Proposals
10
Wed, 05-08-2013 - 2:46pm

I watched some of these video'd proposals here and it got me wondering about how you ladies were proposed to. Does anybody care to share? Do you know anybody that had an elaborate proposal like some of the videos?

Avatar for shirley_v
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2000
Wed, 05-08-2013 - 5:53pm

My goodness...I watched a few of these...seems Flash Mobs are a popular thing in this realm.  Are there companies that you can hire to do these sort of things?  Anyway I saw a few, teared up too, but the list seems endless.  I liked that first one - very ingenious. 

Ray did not subscribe to the 'get down on the knee' sort of thing.  We were on a city bus and he just leaned over to me and said something like "What do you say about us getting married?"  - I think it seemed a forgone conclusion with us...not a surprise by any means as we had been dating for 3 years through university at that point, or thereabouts.  I said "Yes" but didn't make a scene in the bus...no, we were very discreet...LOL. 

Not that romantic, was it?  But seems today there is a lot of the 'spectacle' to some of these proposals!  And well, yeah, with everyone having cameras on their Smartphones, etc.

I only know of my friend's daughter being proposed to in front of her extended family (cousins, etc.) and this couple (friend's daughter) had been in a common law marriage, you could day, for like gee...15 years or so?  They had two children.  Anyway yes, they filmed it and I saw the video of the proposal. Took place in their backyard on a sunny day with all the family gathered there and my friend's daughter didn't suspect anything.  And then her boyfriend (common-law dh) got down on his knee and well, there ya go!  Now they are married (last summer, I think it was). 

  Shirley

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Wed, 05-08-2013 - 6:31pm

We met when we were stationed together in Japan.   He left for his next assignment in April,  I in November.   A few weeks after he left he proposed to me by letter,  a few days after I received the letter he did it again by phone. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Thu, 05-09-2013 - 7:48am

  People sure get creative these days!  I know when my DD21 was in high school, the boys came up with creative ways to ask girls to prom. 

  My DD27 got engaged in December when she & her SO were at Prospect Park in Brooklyn.  He carries a camera wherever he goes (he's a photo journalist), so he told her to go stand in a certain spot, so he could take a picture.  She walked away and when she turned around, there he was, on his knee and proposed.  I thought THAT sounded pretty romantic.  :)

My own experiences haven't been so much.  The ex and I were together 3 years in college, so it was just a given we would get married although I did have to ask for an engagement ring at Christmas as he didn't think of it.  I told him if we didn't get married, I'd have to go out of state to find a teaching job (this was in the early 80's when schools were closing left and right) and that would be the end, so he bought me the ring and were were married 2 months after i graduated.

Dh asked me to marry him after we had only been dating a year (NOT long enough for me).  I honestly did not want to get married again, but his proposal WAS sweet and heartfelt.  He was down on one knee and asked me and I have NEVER seen anyone look at me with the love that he did.  I was overwhelmed, but my answer was basically no.  My actual words were "yes...someday...".  He didn't ask me again for another year and a half a week before we bought our condo together and it went like this...Dh:  "I always said I'd never mix money and assets with a woman unless I was married to her."  Me: "So what are you saying, we should get married?"; Dh:  "Yes"; Me: "Ok".  We were married by a JOP a week later the day before we closed on our condo.  Oh...he also mentioned how bad my health insurance was and that his was better and how at MY age (53), if anything catastrophic happened to me, that it could ruin us.  Sweet, huh??? lol  I'd probably put THAT proposal down as the most unromantic proposal ever.  lol  Guess that's what happens when you get older.  Old and practical. 

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Thu, 05-09-2013 - 7:53am

LOL - I didn't watch any of the link yet but dh never proposed; he just asked my dad's permission and assumed my response would be yes!

Avatar for nora_mcl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
Thu, 05-09-2013 - 3:35pm

Mike asked me in a quiet moment at his aunt's house (we were both in school-he in college in one town, me in nursing school about 400miles away & my parents about 400miles from either one of us). He said he'd ask my parents-& when I went home for Christmas-they told me he had-& they said NO! I was horrified-their reasoning was that I was only 18, not done first year & they were afraid I'd quit. But we stuck it out-that summer he bought me a pearl ring-which became my engagement ring because when he graduated & got a job where I was, I had a job at the hospital-but no one would share an apartment with me because I was going to get married in 4 mo. So we moved the date forward by 4mo-got married in August rather than December-had a small wedding & here we are-almost 44 years later. (in spite of having dated almost 4 years-my parents were horrified & convinced I shamed them by being pregnant when I got married. Our dd was born almost 17mo after the wedding-so, no, I was not pregnant. And I didn't see that it mattered anyway-I did what they expected-I finished school, I passed my RN's-I just got married before they thought I should.)So no pomp & ceremony-just a quiet proposal that matched the small, quiet wedding.

Nora

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Thu, 05-09-2013 - 3:47pm

DH & I knew we would be married from a very early point.  We met when we were 19 and in the first year we already had names picked out for a boy and a girl.  However it was very much an "in the future" thing - we were only 20, I was about to graduate from college and he was flunking out!

When he was 21 we found out he had a brain tumor.  Back in 1984 there was no such thing as an MRI.  He was hospitalized with a sudden grand mal seizure and was in the hospital for 2 weeks before finally being moved to a teaching hospital for surgery.  At that point, we had no idea what the surgeon would find.  We agreed in the car that if what he had was fatal, we would be married asap.  Thankfully the tumor was benign and we didn't have to get married for another 6 years!

We got "almost engaged" at Christmas 1988, three months after he moved to be with me in my first post-grad-school job.  He gave me a pearl ring and said, "If you want, you can consider yourself engaged."  I said, "Does that mean I can call a church and a caterer and set a date and tell everyone we're engaged?"  He said, "Uh, maybe not yet," and I said, "Then we're not engaged.  It's a beautiful ring, but I'll wait until you give me THE ring and ask me to marry you."

Six months later he proposed to me in our apartment right after we had come back from having wings & beer at the Ground Round.  I actually had to go wash my hands before I could try on the ring!  It was the day before we went to visit friends in California for our first big vacation, so our vacation was kind of an "engagement honeymoon." 

BTW he's still not very exciting about giving presents, but he's improved over the years. :)  His real gift is being thoughtful about things on a more regular basis, like cooking yams for me when everyone else is having baked potatoes, fixing every little thing in the house promptly, exercising the dogs when I'm the one who wanted to have dogs, etc.  Makes up for his less-than-glamorous gift-giving. :)  And one sweet gift-giving tradition we started before we even had children endures:  after the kids go to bed on Christmas Eve, we open a bottle of champagne and a box of Godiva chocolates and exchange presents with no kids around.

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Thu, 05-09-2013 - 9:01pm

Nothing really elaborate for me. We started dating when I was 17 & DH was 21. A few wks after my 18th birthday, we started talking about what type of furniture we liked & how many kids we wanted (me - 6, him 0) & where we would live when we were married. I said something about DH not having asked me to marry him & so he got down on one knee & asked. We agreed to keep it a secret but I must have been glowing as my Mom asked if I was engaged. I said yes but we weren't planning on getting married for 5 yrs so please don't tell anyone. 4 days later my Dad died suddenly & Mom told me afterwards that she had told Dad. He was happy & relieved that he won't have to worry about me as he really liked DH. We were married 14 mths later. I registered for university on my honeymoon & we are still together almost 38 yrs later.

Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-1997
Thu, 05-09-2013 - 9:56pm

As I recently posted we just celebrated 33 years together!  The actual proposal happened in our apartment that we shared in NYC - no big deal about it - very quiet.  We had dated for 6 months & had been living together 3 months.  The more excitng thing was our 1st date together.  He worked for the Indonesian Mission to the United Nations and had access to the Secretariat Building (not open to the public).  So he took me inside, gave me a tour, & we had lunch in the employee cafeteria.  To this day, I still remember that tour.  The entire lobby and 1st floor is a museum masterpiece!  Everything (paintings, tapestries, sculptures, etc.) were all donated by Presidents & Kings or Queens of countries around the world.  The art and artifacts are truly amazing.  It felt like you were viewing the best of what each country has to offer.  I remember thinking it's a shame the public will never get to see this.  By the way, yes, there are guards in the lobby & 1st floor even though all employees have ID badges.  Bottom line, I will always be grateful I had that oppoortunity to see it as once my husband left the Indonesian Mission, we were no longer allowed to get inside the Secretariat Building. 

Elc - since your dd lives in NYC, if she knows anybody who works for one of the United Nations Missions or in any position with the United Nations, she needs to charm her way to get that employee to take her inside the building.  FYI - ignore all floors above - it's all offices with cubicles - nothing exciting.  And the cafeteria is a standard cafeteria.  She just needs to visit the lobby & 1st floor.

Kathy

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sat, 05-11-2013 - 12:13pm

We'd been going out for about 6 months, and were going out to dinner one night.  We'd been talking about relationships, and what worked and what didn't, & as we parked in the lot, Ed said, "Where do you see THIS relationship going?" 

I said, "I'd tell you, but I'm afraid you'll clutch your throat and die!"

He said, "No, seriously."  So I wriggled my ring finger and hummed a few bars of "Here Comes the Bride".  And he clutched his throat, said "I'm too young to die", and fell over the steering wheel.

I punched him, and said "A$$hole".  Then he laughed and said, "I've saved some money.  Let's go look at rings.  But I want a 5 year engagment!!!"

I said--Counting this one!  And that's exactly how long it was.  This month, it's 41 years since we met.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sat, 05-11-2013 - 12:16pm
BTW, it's 41 years since we met. Never broke up, never dated anyone else.