My family is getting bigger,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
My family is getting bigger,
17
Thu, 08-21-2014 - 5:31pm

  DD2 is getting married,   so I will be a Grandma. Two young men, 9 and 4. 

  Sometime next year,  most likely in the summer since she is a teacher.

  I am so not Mother of the Bride material.  Am not looking forward to the planning etc. 

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Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Thu, 08-21-2014 - 6:20pm

Congratulations!!!  Why don't you look forward to the planning?  Yes, it can be stressfull, but it is also amazing fun.  And you're gonna cry, too, but that's OK.  Rae told me yesterday, her choice of music for the Daddy/daughter dance was Billy Joel's "Lullabye-Goodnight My Angel", and I was sobbing.  But it was a "cry for happy".  You'll be fine.

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Thu, 08-21-2014 - 7:22pm

My mom was 300 miles away and left all the planning to me, so you don't HAVE to do any. (I wanted it that way; didn't want her stressing about not being close or knowing any local places, etc.)  She just had to get herself an outfit and show up! She did come down when i chose a gown (and they paid for that; we paid for the wedding; we were 29 and 30)  Congrats to her, to you, to your growing family!

Sue

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Thu, 08-21-2014 - 7:38pm

Congratulations !

Malea

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www.askmalea.com

Avatar for nora_mcl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
Thu, 08-21-2014 - 7:39pm

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I didn't do a whole lot of the planning-some of it, but I figured that as adults, they knew their own minds & the wedding was their wedding. We paid for a very small part of it-again, they are adults & we'd helped with their university education-enough already!

I cried-of course! At Susan's wedding-Adam asked me if I was worried about her because I was crying. No, I was happy for her & sometimes ladies cried when they are happy. (he nodded-but looked like he thought I was crazy). The next year-at Karen's wedding, he looked at me & asked if I was happy enough yet-yeah, I was-so he gave me a kleenex. At our son's wedding-I started well before the wedding-when they measured Adam for a tuxedo-the tears started & he just said to the tailor "It's okay-ladies do that if they're happy" & he shook his head!

I think we all do things differently in our families-my kids were old enough that I was allowed to give ideas which may or may not have been used. And my "Mother of the Bride" dress shopping was an adventure taken on by DD#2-for all 3 weddings. (a lot of eye rolling going on there-but she has good taste & strong ideas about her mother should look.)

Relax & go with the flow-enjoy it & tuck tissues in your purse!

Nora

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 08-21-2014 - 7:49pm

 Weddings are so  not my thing.  I was never one of those girls who spent their childhood dreaming about their wedding. I love bad teing married but the wedding was just something I had to go through to be married.  My wedding was planned in about two hours.  I got back from Japan on Sat and we got married the next Sat.  The hardest part was finding a minister that would marry us with out going through months of counselling,   Everyone we talked to said no,  finally my MIL got on the phone with one and talk him into it.  The wedding cake and flowers were from the local Albertsons and the reception was at the Bonanza restaurant.  There were about 15 guests, my ILs were the only family members able to attend.   My wedding dress cost 22000 yen (about $60). 

Many think that the size of the wedding was because of the situation but that is only partly true,  the location was because of the situation but even if I would have been married in my home town it still would have been small probably, not more than 20 or so guests.

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Thu, 08-21-2014 - 9:03pm

Congratulations! I hear ya' about the wedding planning. My dd and I have such different taste that I don't even know how I would help her except by signing checks LOL. (not that there's any wedding on the horizon anyway)

Will you and dh be paying all or part of the expense? Does your dd want you to help? With 2 sisters, the girls might help her enough and she'll just ask you about budget questions? Maybe when the planning starts you will get more into it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Thu, 08-21-2014 - 9:17pm

Congratulations!  I, too, am a mother-of-the bride this year...in October.  DD28 has been with her fiancee for 5 years, so it's been like they're married already.  They live in NYC and I live in the midwest, so HIS mother has gotten to play a much bigger part in the planning than I since they live only an hour away from them, plus they hired a wedding planner.  (DD30 told me her sister's future in-laws were paying for most of the wedding.)  Anyway, I did fly to NYC for the bridal shower that my DD's future MIL gave her.   I did cry a couple times already...once at the bridal store when my DD had her fitting which happened to be the morning before the shower and then again AT the shower.  There was a 5 year old little girl there and when I looked at her, I felt like Steve Martin in the movie "Father of the Bride".  I saw my DD28 again...that little girl with long brown hair and thought...where did my little girl go?  Yup...I've turned into an old sap, but it was a great bonding tme for me and DD28 who have had our ups and downs since her father and I divorced 7 years ago.  I have 4 DDs and this is my first to get married and her fiance is like the son I never had, so am over the moon happy for them.  Smile

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 08-21-2014 - 9:27pm

Do not know all of the financials yet.  We had always told our DDs that we would help pay for their college but had no plans on paying for weddings.  That was mainly because we did not know how our finances would be and we will not go into debt to pay for a wedding  so we did not want  them having expectations of us paying and then  being disapointed if we didn't. 

As it is our financials  are pretty good at the moment so we could pay for the entire thing but we have to be careful of setting a precedence,  whatever we spend on hers her sister should expect the same if they marry and we do not know what the future holds. 

From the conversation we had with her boyfriend the other day it sounds like he is expecting that they will pay for it all and setting a budget that they can afford.    But we will probably kick in some. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Thu, 08-21-2014 - 10:35pm

Congrats!!

I don't know why people get stressed over wedding planning. It really doesn't have to be a big deal. We had about 150 people at ours and we did it ourselves. My parents were already dead and his parents just had to show up the day before.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Thu, 08-21-2014 - 10:35pm

Congrats!!

I don't know why people get stressed over wedding planning. It really doesn't have to be a big deal. We had about 150 people at ours and we did it ourselves. My parents were already dead and his parents just had to show up the day before.

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