New Years-Resolutions or Reflections OR...

Avatar for nora_mcl
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Registered: 10-30-2011
New Years-Resolutions or Reflections OR...
Sun, 12-29-2013 - 7:16pm

For some of us, this has been quite the year. Kathy has switched careers entirely-gone from a "Staples Gal" to her own Business person-I'm so impressed by her. And 'nester has helped her DD go through a nightmare of Cancer treatment. Shirley's body seems to be letting her down at times. And I've had my own Sad times. I'm sure that there are things some of the others don't share-things that bother each of us that we keep to ourselves.

And there are good things too-Dee has a new (beautiful)grandbaby to cuddle & spoil, Sabr is awaiting the arrival of #2-for me the best was have Elsbeth visit with her dh (he's as nice as she is).

So as we prepare to greet 2014-what do you do? Do you prepare Resolutions to faithfully follow-or break? Or do you do as I do & think & reflect on the year that has been? Forget the resolutions-they sound like somebody telling me what I HAVE to do, & I've never been much good at that. I might consider what would be good to change for the better-but if I "resolve to do it"-you can bet I will break it before the week is done! But I was sitting here thinking of the year that was-not just the sad times, though of course, that predominated this year. How well my garden did-how expanding it & trying different & more things probably contributed to my mental survival at times. And even wondering what the next year will bring-hopefully nothing as sad.

So what do you do around this time? Do you remember back when?-back when the new millenium was to start & the world was to end? Mike worked with computers in the hospital then & everyone was panicking & he was so disgusted. (He had to work that night-just in case--so Adam & I watched the ball drop in New York-& Adam was so disappointed, I think he figured he'd been gypped if that was all that was going to happen!)


Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Sun, 12-29-2013 - 8:49pm

No resolutions here.  Maybe a few reflections - we just sold my parents' house after 4.5 years of it being under 'articles of agreement for deed', which felt good to have it complete but as we moved in there in 1960 (I was 20 months and walked right into the fireplace) it was a time to reflect about a major chapter that is now closed.

Our 160 year old company has been bought by a new company that has no interest in R&D or doing anything new - they apparently buy companies and use the current technology and then spit them out when it gets old, so we'll see how long I'll stick around (23 years til that happened) so I might be another with a new story to tell in a year if I end up doing that big career change too!

Having ds21 home this time of year is nice; lets us reflect on childhood years of his. Also reflecting on finally getting his ailment diagnosed (Ehlers Danlos hypermobility type) this past year - explains a lot but then leads to constant worry as his aches and pains will never go away; not just something he was going through as he grew up; nothing I can just kiss and make better. 

DH and I also reflected a bit on our childhood Christmas and New Years traditions in the last few days. Neither of us did much for New Year's Eve like it seems many do now - we now just stay up for a bit (I never make it to midnight!), have some snacks and watch some old movies on tv.  We wondered if ds will have things he'll remember during holiday time (other than the annoyance he finds with dh's family)...

(we didn't worry about the year 2000; dh also worked on computers in a hospital and was also disgusted with those that did!)


Avatar for sabrtooth
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Registered: 12-03-1999
Sun, 12-29-2013 - 10:54pm

I count my blessings.  These days, even if getting out of a chair hadn't made things abundantly clear, the spate of funerals we had, brought it home to us that there are more days behind the cart, than in front of the horse.  I am very grateful that Ed & I, our children, and our extended family and friends, are all CLOSE.  Physically close.  Emotionally close.  Maintaining that closeness takes work, sometimes.  I don't begrudge the work, and am glad others don't either--but I wouldn't stop, even if they did.  Life is too short to bear grudges. 

I am glad that whenever I sit down, a dog gets in my lap.  When I go to bed, a backwarmer gets in with me.  When I get up in the morning & get my coffee, Morning Glory sings hello.  (Ed was on a business call in the kitchen last week, when the guy he was talking to said, "All I can hear is the GD BIRD." )  She is talking as I type.  I am glad I never let fear of mess, or the inevitable loss, prevent me from experiencing unconditional love.

I love my house, my yard, my town.  I am grateful I live someplace safe and beautiful, that I enjoy, even if the work is overwhelming sometimes. 

I am glad I have enough to share with others, and that I have the humility to actually do it. 

I don't make resolutions. Every time I disappoint myself, I resolve to be better.   I DO want to lose weight this year.  Not for vanity, or to look good for Rae's wedding, but because the kids said, "Mom, we want to be as old as you, and STILL have our Mommy.  And our kids have their Nonna."  Now THAT'S incentive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-1997
Sun, 12-29-2013 - 11:22pm

Thanks for the congrats, however, I opened my big mouth too early.  In New York State, a real estate transaction is not final until both parties have signed the contract.  So stupid me, that tidbit escaped my brain and instead of telling my client not to get his hopes up yet, I got a phone call from the listing agent while driving to the office that she got another offer for all cash and the seller accepted the cash offer and rejected my client's offer.  Ouch!  So I had to explain it to my client and yes he was upset.  Lesson learned.  Next time, I'll advise my clients not to pop any champagne bottles until we sit at the closing table.  Anyway, I have learned some trends from buyers contacting me from Zillow.  It seems New York City landlords have taken advantage of the recession and economy by increasing rents.  I've been hearing complaints from people paying $1500 - 2,000. rents and it's cheaper to buy a co-op or condo in the suburbs for the same price.  So people are moving to the suburbs.

As for my big career move - here's the backstory.  My Mom deserves the credit.  Because of her experiences, she raised me to be self reliant and never depend on anybody to do anything for you.  She had to survive on her own during WWII in France as a teenager.  Later in life after my sister & I were born, my father died leaving my Mom to care for 2 babies with no outside income and she had only been in the U.S. for 6 1/2 yrs.  She took up sewing alterations to earn an income in order to work from home.  I think if my Mom's life was different, I doubt she would have insisted on being self reliant.  In addition, before switching to real estate, I had several conversations with agents who knew me from Staples and they told me to enroll in a class and get licensed.  Without them, I don't know if I would have taken the leap.

Finally, as for New Year's resolutions, I don't make any.  HOWEVER, this year I need to lose 30 - 40 lbs. by June 14th.  I'm going to my high school's 60th birthday party and there is no way I'm wearing a size 16 gown.  I'm determined to lose the weight and look slim and sexy at 60 yrs. old wearing a SLIM gown!  I gained the weight from the stress of career changes and job loss.  Now that's over and done with, so I need to work out on the treadmill and do whatever it takes to get the weight off.  The party is being held at the same yacht club we had it 2 yrs. ago and it was a 3 day blast of an event.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sun, 12-29-2013 - 11:47pm

Even though it has been a sucky year I have over the last couple of weeks reflecting on how blessed we are.  DD1 kicked cancers butt.   She had very good insurance so there was no financial issues that resulted from it.   Her work was wonderful in giving  her the support that she needed as was mine and DHs in giving us the time off that we needed.  Her sisters and others also stepped up to help in the journey especially DD3 who became her first call when she needed help. I am extremely proud of her.

I do remember Y2K, it was a bit of a windfall for us.  DH also works in computers, he usually has the week of Christmas-New Years off but he had to work it that year,   a week of holiday pay, 2.5 times regular pay. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2000
Tue, 12-31-2013 - 8:35am

I don't make new year resolutions but we do reflect back on the year during this time. And 2013 has been a he** of a roller coaster year.

The year started out with Justin living here - no job, wasn't in school, was talking to the army recruiters but it's not as easy to get in as it used to be. He did finally get a part time job in April and then a full time job in May and moved out in July. He's now fully self-sufficient, off our insurance, etc. Although he does still come home once a week to do laundry ;)

DH was diagnosed with colon cancer in June after a routine first time colonoscopy. The doc originally thought it had spread into the blood stream and it was a very scary time filled with tests and doc visits. He had surgery to remove a portion of his colon on July 19 and had to have a temporary ileostomy, which was very tough on him physically and emotionally. the good news was that they got all the cancer and no surrounding organs or lymph nodes were affected. The ileostomy got reversed on September 6 and it's really only been in the last month or so that his strength and energy seems to be getting back to normal.

Jason was finishing up his 2nd year of medical school in May and doing great academically. Unfortunately he was forced to resign due to some poor choices he made on social media. So he spent the summer over $100,000 in debt, no job, and reverting to some of his earlier eating disordered behaviors. He finally got a job offer from Epic Systems in the Madison, WI area and relocated there the first of September. He loves the company and the area.

Despite the rocky patches of 2013 we feel blessed that things are looking good now. Wishing that 2014 is the best year yet for all of you! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Wed, 01-01-2014 - 10:39am

Never one for resolutions. Today is a day like any other day. If someone wants to change something about one's life, the best time to start is the day they decide to do make the change.

I resolved last summer to take better care of myself. Get more exercise and try to not stress about little things. So far, so good.

2013 was a year of changes in this family. I had a close family member pass much too young.  The kids started 2013 unemployed but found jobs here in the beginning of the year. We had our first family wedding and DD officially moved out into her own place. And we started well-need renovations to the house which will be keeping us busy for the next year.

All in all, life is good.

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Wed, 01-01-2014 - 11:44am

It seems I'm like the others with no resolutions. i used to make them when u was younger but no more as I never followed them. As mentioned, 2013 brought me a wonderful granddaughter who brings me as much joy as her brother does even if I only got an hour of sleep last night while watching the kids. Poor baby's teeth are hurting. I try to focus on the posirive things in my life & learn from those things I would call negative. We had our DS2's wedding then waved good luck as DS1 headed off to Holland. Both boys are happy & contented with their lives following their own dreams. DD has had a tough yr with more challenges than she feels she can handle at times but I see her growing & learning to deal with these challenges. So I'm rhankful for my kids & my life with DH who I cant imagine what life would be like if we weren't together. 

My Mom has brought many challenges this year but that is an area where I am changing myself. I have set boundaries on our relationship to ensure a healthy emotional life for myself. Mom isn't at all happy with this but is slowly coming to accept it when I say I won't do or discuss certain things with her. This is a major accomplishment for me as I give in to guilt treatment & my Mom is the queen of giving guilt trips. I have found a feeling of peace & comfort through my work with the hospice. I'm glad I'm volunteering there just wish some of the snow storms hadn't been on my volunteer days. I've had a few frightening drives. 

I'm looking forward to 2014 & plan to find more things to do just because I want to.  I have agreed to babysit 3 days a week once DD goes back to work. It will mean living there full time during those days as a 3 hr trip each way won't fit into my day.  I am teaching another 10 week bereavement course & trying to learn to crochet. I remember Jan 2000 as I worked for a major computer company. We have plans in place not just for all the software & hardware but also to help our employes if the worst happened. I was on call to impliement these people disaster plans which were never needed. I think that was the last time I was awake at midnight until last night.