Stressing over the holidays
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|Wed, 09-25-2013 - 9:30pm|
So looking for honest opinions here. Should I continue to try to coordiate family events or just let it go...
We are fast approaching our Cdn Thanksgiving in 2 wks & I'm wanting to just cancel our family celebration but my family will tell me that I'm being passive aggressive. In reality, I'm just frustrated & would rather skip the holidays. 3 wks ago I sent out an email asking the kids if we could celebrate on the Sat or Sun knowing my SIL doesn't get the holiday Monday off. DD said sure but can we do it at 2 pm if we do Sun so they can get back home at a reasonable time. NP, then my DS replies that they can only do Mon as he works 3 to 11 on Sat & his MIL is hosting on Sun. DD then says she doesn't want to celebrate without her brother so lets do it the following weekend which I know makes it easier for her as her inlaws want them to join them at her BIL's inlaws. So trying to be flexible, I agree to the following weekend to which my DIL responds today with that's fine but don't count on me as I may be scheduled to work. My DS won't come without his DW as he won't leave her alone for the weekend which I understand.
I don't even want to think about Xmas. DD has said she is staying home which I totally understand. Her DS is almost 7 & shouldn't be dragged away from his toys. She will host the dinner & wants us all to come there but this means spending Xmas Eve & Xmas Day with her inlaws. This is a royal pain as her MIL insists on always being with the grandkids & so I try to hold back to avoid a competition plus we have nothing in common. I don't enjoy these shared holidays but have continued to do them when it's an event for the grandkids. Not sure what DS's inlaws are planning but naturally his DW wants to be with her family. She is the baby & the only girl.
Holidays were always special in our house & I hosted my inlaws for yrs once my MIL didn't want to do it anymore. My Mom was rarely around at Xmas. As the kids found partners, I was disappointed at having to change many of our traditions but I got over it & adopted new ones but now it is such a struggle to find time for us as a family during these holidays. It is making me stressed & unhappy trying to pull these events together. Last yr was the first time we didn't have any family around on Xmas Eve, I was sad but I survived it. So frankly, I'm thinking I would rather just spend the time with DH relaxing than getting involved in trying to ensure that we can do a common event. It's not like the kids don't want to see us. They all show up when their schedules are free, most of the time we are lucky if we get 2 or 3 hrs notice which is fine with me. My door is always open & the grocery store is only 5 mins away if there isn't enough to feed the extras.
PS: I have invited my kids' inlaws to holiday events but really all we have in common is the kids & I don't think anyone has a relaxing time. Each of my 3 kids' partners are also one of 3 kids so we end up with quite a large group.