A week of transitions

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
A week of transitions
2
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 11:10am

As we start off summer, my older kids are going through big transitions - which always means anxiety, expressed or unexpressed.

18yo DD graduated high school last Thursday.  Today is her first day as a camp counselor, for which she's been training for the last three weekends, but it brings lots of uncertainty. . . and DD does not like uncertainty.  Her method of dealing with life is to be as prepared as possible at all times, so a job where she has to figure a lot out on the fly will be a good learning experience, if somewhat painful.  She's also in a bit of shock at realizing that work takes up 9 hours a day, which doesn't leave lots of time for all her other pursuits.  I had to fight to keep a straight face last night while she was wailing over the tribulations of working full time. ;)

21yo DS left on Saturday night for six weeks in Peru on a summer "field school" program.  The group is traveling and taking classes for the first week; actual field work, on an archeological excavation, begins July 1.  Leaving him at the airport was harder than taking him to college three years ago.  I try to picture him getting through six weeks abroad without having a medical issue, and I fail.  But I have to trust (and pray a lot!) that he will be OK, that at age 21 he can handle what comes his way (those who know his mental health issues know that this is a leap of faith).  I kept all my heli-parenting instincts in check and didn't interfere with his packing, once I'd established he actually had access to everything he needed (which included things like water purification tablets & prescriptions for the nasty things that can happen to your body even if you use them - plus medication for Lyme disease, which he has and has been complicating everything else by slowing his brain to a crawl).  I am hugely grateful for the internet and international texting, by which I learned he had arrived at his hotel Sunday morning in the company of the field coordinator.

Once again, I feel like parenting, while more rewarding as our offspring grow older, gets more intellectually and emotionally challenging at the same time.  Knowing when *not* to do things feels harder than knowing when to *do* things.

Kelly

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 12:52pm

I can so relate! My 18 yo is doing an internship that takes her to some very sketchy parts of Boston on an almost-daily basis (she is working at a ministry that serves homeless people and those in transition). Every day I have to shut off my helicopter rotor or I'll go insane. I feel a lot more at peace when I know she's working in the office for the day! But I remind myself, and I am reminding you, that all of your parenting has paid off because your kids want to do these things. They are prepared for them, even called to these adventures, by a God who loves them more than you do, as hard as that is to imagine.  So I think this is the part of the parenting journey where we walk more by faith than by sight.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 5:48pm

Wise words, Ash. 

I am trying to learn to be more interior and more trusting as I process these events - pondering them in my heart more than on the internet. ;)  If the kids have received the graces to do these things, then I must surely have received the graces to allow them.  I need to spend more time allowing myself to let those graces sink in.