Caught in the middle
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|Fri, 02-24-2012 - 11:24pm|
How often to you find yourself in the middle of a family issue trying to mediate between the different parties to reach a compromise? It seems that even though my kids get along well, there can still be challenges to get them to a common ground. Right now, I'm caught in the middle again. When they were small I used to let them fight it out. Unfortunately, chasing each other around the house with a water gun isn't an option these days.
Like every wedding, there are issues & the main one is the wedding date next year. The kids chose a wedding date of Oct 12, 2013, 16 mths ago when they got engaged. Then a few wks ago, they discovered that they would save about 15% if they moved their wedding to the beginning of May. Being practical, this is what they did. However, they didn't ask anyone if they had a problem with the new date. Problem is that James has planned to go overseas next January to celebrate the completion of his masters. He intends to travel for 6 mths with a friend. Now he is frustrated because he will have to cut his trip short to come home for the wedding or come home & fly back. At this time, he has travel plans but nothing booked. He is frustrated, so his latest response is fine, I'm not coming home at Xmas this year because I can't afford that plus coming back for the wedding then returning to finish my trip. That then upsets Sandy as Noah misses his Uncle Jay and she thinks it's terrible of James to consider not seeing Noah for 8 or 9 mths fromm Aug to April. So the battle is raging but I'm the only one who is aware of it. James hadn't said anything Andrew, Sandy hasn't said anything to James but they are both yapping at me. Thankfully , they are yapping in text!
Then Andrew is upset with Sandy (can't remember when that ever happened before) because she wants me to move the engagement party from July to June as her DH is having a stag week the weekend I'm planning on the party. Andrew wants the party in July as planned & so he is yapping on about how he doesn't care if Luke comes. Frankly, neither do I but I haven't told Sandy. I'm not moving the party as I have had 2 large events & Luke never showed at either of them because he got a better "offer" to hang with his buddies.
Our family tends to be direct & speak their minds. However, everyone is still walking on eggshells around Sandy. She is doing much better but is overly sensitive still. So we don't like to upset her. Being in Victoria, the distance makes it harder for him to be direct with Andrew plus he feels guilty as the kids are trying to save money so he agrees with their logic but he doesn't like change. So now that he has made plans, it's hard for him to regroup.
Then there is Ian who per usual has no idea of the emotions raging within the family. In our house, it's me who the kids come to, it's me who acts as the referee or peacemaker & most of the time Ian never hears about anything. He thinks we have a nice, calm family life. Oh what a dreamworld he lives in, lol