How much help to offer (different circumstances)
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|Thu, 10-25-2012 - 9:25pm|
I was reading replies to previous post & would like to know how you would handle this family issue.
My husband - 63; Me - 58, my sister - 56, my Mom - 88 & our kids - 28 & 24. The issue is my sister has Tourette's Syndrome (ticks) & is ADHD. This is MY diagnosis since my parents never had my sister diagnosed professionally & my Mom was always in denial. Currently at 88 yrs., my Mom is relatively healthy and she worked F/T until 80, so she is retired. My sister lives with my Mom & she is unemployed. Always had trouble keeping a job or finding employment & of course, the recession didn't help. Also my sister never married & has no kids. My stepfather who died in 1986 worked on Wall St. & my Mom & sister are living off his savings, Social Security & the sale of our family home on Long Island. Currently they live in a small 2 bedroom apartment which my Mom paid in cash from the sale of the house.
At this point in time, I don't have to worry much - my husband & I are both working & we're enjoying our new home purchase. My concern is what happens when my Mom dies. We know there won't be much money left from her estate & I'm not looking to inherit much. My Mom's will states specifically that her apartment must be sold & the funds from the sale be split between my sister, me & my 2 kids (her only grandkids). My daughter told me privately she thinks my sister should move into a type of nursing home / assisted living home. I would agree but these places cost a lot of money & my Mom's estate will not cover it. My sister had been on welfare & is covered by Medicaid (I think).
Currently my sister is enrolled in a local college trying to obtain a bachelor's degree. I'm being realistic & given the current unemployment & economy, I don't see many opportunities for an almost 60 yr. old with a recent college degree esp. if you have ticks & don't have a trackable employment history. I have told my Mom a few times that upon her death - 1) I am having my sister professionally diagnosed and 2) I am not going to be responsible for her incl. financing anything for her. I feel that my husband & I need to take care of ourselves incl. financing our retirement and our son has $68,000. of student loan debt which we are helping to pay for.
So does anybody have suggestions on what my sister could do or where she could live upon my mother's death (whenever that may happen). I'm very fortunate my Mom is in average health at 88 yrs., but I'm realistic - you don't stay healthy forever. Thanks for any advice you have.