Nostalgic?

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Registered: 12-31-1969
Nostalgic?
29
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 7:22am
Hi, I was hoping that I could get some tips on how you all handle bouts of nostalgia - those moments when it seems like the best of our family life is in the past when the kids were little and constantly around.
Thankyou
Iggyx

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 7:07am

 We have never had the issue of our kids working on Thanksgiving but in college DD3 worked retail at a mall so that of course meant working black Friday.  Which depending on the shift she got meant some years having to leave early to go home and sleep.

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
In reply to: sabrtooth
Thu, 09-27-2012 - 1:01am
I enjoy a LOT of things. Cooking, gardening, crafting, jewelry making, home decorating, daycaring my 8mo granddaughter, hanging out with my gf's, my kids, and my DH. And oh yeah, I work 1-2 days /week. I'm a Dental Hygienist. I was happily "recession retired", and busy with the baby, but I've kept my toe in because I didn't want to lose all my skills JUST yet, and I needed to feel like *I* had money, too. The other G-ma was happy to take Bree one day a week, so I still temp here and there.
As for grown kids and the holidays, I am lucky that mine no longer need to work on holidays, and that they AND their SO's enjoy spending time with us, so they always do both.
Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
In reply to: deenow17
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 10:01pm
For us, Thanksgiving isn't so much about sharing as it is about the kids working. The last 2 yrs, DS1 has been in BC & not coming home. Then DS2 & DD have been working. DS1 won't be home this year either & while DS2 isn't working, his fiancee is & so is DD. We may have a midweek Thanksgiving meal for DS2 & his fiancee as she says he wants his turkey. Last Easter he was at his future inlaws & she cooked pretty cooked chicken wings, chicken pot pie & something else. He was horrified. He likes his "special" holiday meals. lol

We have done the sharing thing for Xmas with DD & DS2 the last 2 yrs. DS1 has always done Xmas with us regardless of his relationship. However, this current one must be very serious as when I suggested coming home for Xmas as his Xmas present, he said no because he couldn't afford to pay for his partner to come too.

Dee
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 7:43pm

  We have not yet had to share our kids with inlaws  for holidays.

   DD1 and DD3 are both in serious (as in living together) relationships.  

  For Thanksgiving DD1 does two, we eat early and his family eats late so they eat with us and then again with his family.  For Christmas his family does Christmas Eve so we have them for Christmas. 

   So far DD3 and her boyfriend have been splitting, she comes to our house and he goes to his moms house.  The one exception to that was last Thanksgiving he had to work so he stopped by our house after work for leftovers and then celebrated Thanksgiving on Sat with his mom.

  DD2 has only been in one relationship that got to the spending holidays with family stage but his family all lives in Colorado so again we did not have to share.  The one year that they we dating at holiday time, he  came to our house for Thanksgiving.  He went to  Colorado for Christmas and then DD2 joined him there for New Years. 

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
In reply to: deenow17
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 6:58pm
Well, I used to enjoy working even when most of my weeks were upwards of 70 hrs/wk. I was an HR consultant dealing with serious employee cases like fraud, harassment, discrimination, etc., I retired the beginning of April & must admit that I'm not really missing it like I thought I would. I miss dealing with people & the sense of accomplishment when a case was finished. Trying to figure out what to do that isn't working that will bring me that feeling again.

I'm also learning to accept that my kids have busy lives & Mommy isn't the centre of them anymore. It's taken a while to do this when you consider my kids are 32, 30 & 25. Our Cdn Thanksgiving in in a few weeks & it appears that we won't be celebrating as a family based on everyone's schedule. I have had to go away the last 2 yrs when this has happened to escape feeling totally miserable. But this year, I'm ok with it. I can feel that I'm starting to accept the changes without the pain. I know they love me & I'm actually accepting that their partners are their focus. Well at least right now until I hear if one of them has a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with their inlaws. lol.

Dee
Avatar for shirley_v
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2000
In reply to: shirley_v
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 12:07pm

Glad to see you back, Iggy, and glad to hear that things are on the upswing for you. Is if full time or part-time work hours and did you say what you do as your work?  Sorry if I don't recall, if you said.  All the best!  Join us here when you can!

Shirley

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
In reply to: deenow17
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 4:57pm
Congrats on the new job! Don't forgot to spend time on you too!!!! That is very important.

Dee
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
In reply to: elc11
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 11:44am

Good to hear that things are going better! Thanks for the update.

Avatar for nora_mcl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
In reply to: nora_mcl
Fri, 08-10-2012 - 1:42pm

I have read all this-said nothing much, but I just have to add my 2 cents.

When we moved into the house before this one-we looked at it as our "Retirement Home"-small & all one level. Circumstances changed-we had to relocate & when we looked here (a few hundred km's away)-Mike was adamant-we needed a house big enough for right then-we'd worry about retirement closer to the time. So we got a house that was 4 bedrooms(well 3-plus he added one)& we seemed to have no problem moving our stuff around to fill it. It helped that at one point we had 5 children-our own 3 + 2 "loaners".(foster children).

Eventually, the one loaner left, & then our own began to leave & while I heard of parents who kept their children's rooms as 'their room' forever-our oldest said that she noticed they were barely out of the house & we were converting their rooms into something else. I have a sewing room, we have a spare room & while Adam is still here-Mike told him that when he leaves, it will become the computer room!(it's a joke-Adam will never leave voluntarily-he is dependent on us). And none of the rooms are empty-in fact, they all need to be gone through to clean out & pitch out.

So don't plan on moving yet-you will probably expand to fill the space! As 'nester' says-what seemed adequate before, becomes too small when you factor in SO's & then grandchildren. And for the record-if I ever have to downsize-I think I will have a major problem. Mom did it last year...my sister did it this year...we figure we will let our children do it when we are gone!

Nora 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Fri, 08-10-2012 - 7:31am

  Actually in the original floor plan for the house what we use for the living room is  a living/dining area and what we use for the dining room is a breakfast nook.  But we never used it that way because the room would have been crowded as both a living and dining room and the "nook" was big enough for a dining room.  We are taking advantage of the renovations to move some furniture around and one thing we are doing is removing a desk and rearranging other things in the family room which is right next to the dining room.  That will open things up a bit when we need more space. 

  When we both want to watch different shows is the only time that both living areas are used now.  The family room has the big TV with the cable box, a  gizillion channels and the DVR, the living room only has basic cable so that often determines who watches where.  This week I have been watching a British comedy on Netflix so I have been taking my computer into the living room to do that and letting him have the family room TV. The living room is also where I do my jigsaw puzzles because the lighting is better there.


 

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