Nostalgic?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Nostalgic?
29
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 7:22am
Hi, I was hoping that I could get some tips on how you all handle bouts of nostalgia - those moments when it seems like the best of our family life is in the past when the kids were little and constantly around.
Thankyou
Iggyx
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 8:07pm

 We have done well in filling the empty bedrooms.  One is an exercise room, one a guest room, so far the third has only been used for storage but will be set up as an office after the renovation.

  When we bought the house one thing on the "must have" list was two living areas. Our kids were kids were teens and tweens when we bought and we wanted a place for them and a place for us.  The two living areas seem to be over kill with just the two of us.

  But the one area that would be nice if it were bigger is the dining room.  It fit well for our family of 5 but when you add in SO's it can get a bit crowded, 

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
In reply to: deenow17
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 8:53pm
I was so looking forward to downsizing from a 5 bedroom home when the kids moved out. We did sell because we wanted to live on the water & I have only 3 bedrooms when I could use 4 but somehow we ended up with a house that is 50% bigger. Not great when you aren't a fan of housework like me. lol

I'm still trying to find my place in this house after 8 mths. Hubby settled right into the "great room" with his big tv but I just can't really find my space yet. I'm going to have to re-decorate a room to make it mine I think. I'm fine outside as we brought the house for the property. I have my little pool, the lake to watch & my gazebo which I enjoy.

Dee
Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
In reply to: sabrtooth
Thu, 08-09-2012 - 10:54pm

Nester, since you have 2 living areas as well as a dining room, could you make one of the living areas into the dining room?  The dining room doesn't HAVE to be right next to the kitchen, altho it is easier to transport food there, if it is.  But we've had holidays and parties where we set the kitchen up as a buffett, and then people ate in the dinette, in the dining room, & in the downstairs dining room.

We have 2 living areas also.  It was a necessity when the kids were still at home, and a nice-to-have now.  We have separate DirectTV receivers in the 2 living rooms, so when DH and I want to watch different cable shows, or if the guys want to watch sports while the girls want to watch "True Blood", we can each do our thing and not bother the other.  "It's too big for just the 2 of us"  really hasn't been an issue because the kids are over a lot, the grandbaby is over daily, friends and relatives spend the night if they are under the weather--or the influence--and dh & I have hobby and workspaces.  Plus, I love my house, my neighbors and my neighborhood.  Our kids, friends, relatives are all in the area.  I don't see any reason to move.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Fri, 08-10-2012 - 7:31am

  Actually in the original floor plan for the house what we use for the living room is  a living/dining area and what we use for the dining room is a breakfast nook.  But we never used it that way because the room would have been crowded as both a living and dining room and the "nook" was big enough for a dining room.  We are taking advantage of the renovations to move some furniture around and one thing we are doing is removing a desk and rearranging other things in the family room which is right next to the dining room.  That will open things up a bit when we need more space. 

  When we both want to watch different shows is the only time that both living areas are used now.  The family room has the big TV with the cable box, a  gizillion channels and the DVR, the living room only has basic cable so that often determines who watches where.  This week I have been watching a British comedy on Netflix so I have been taking my computer into the living room to do that and letting him have the family room TV. The living room is also where I do my jigsaw puzzles because the lighting is better there.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
In reply to: nora_mcl
Fri, 08-10-2012 - 1:42pm

I have read all this-said nothing much, but I just have to add my 2 cents.

When we moved into the house before this one-we looked at it as our "Retirement Home"-small & all one level. Circumstances changed-we had to relocate & when we looked here (a few hundred km's away)-Mike was adamant-we needed a house big enough for right then-we'd worry about retirement closer to the time. So we got a house that was 4 bedrooms(well 3-plus he added one)& we seemed to have no problem moving our stuff around to fill it. It helped that at one point we had 5 children-our own 3 + 2 "loaners".(foster children).

Eventually, the one loaner left, & then our own began to leave & while I heard of parents who kept their children's rooms as 'their room' forever-our oldest said that she noticed they were barely out of the house & we were converting their rooms into something else. I have a sewing room, we have a spare room & while Adam is still here-Mike told him that when he leaves, it will become the computer room!(it's a joke-Adam will never leave voluntarily-he is dependent on us). And none of the rooms are empty-in fact, they all need to be gone through to clean out & pitch out.

So don't plan on moving yet-you will probably expand to fill the space! As 'nester' says-what seemed adequate before, becomes too small when you factor in SO's & then grandchildren. And for the record-if I ever have to downsize-I think I will have a major problem. Mom did it last year...my sister did it this year...we figure we will let our children do it when we are gone!

Nora 

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
In reply to: elc11
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 11:44am

Good to hear that things are going better! Thanks for the update.

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
In reply to: deenow17
Mon, 09-24-2012 - 4:57pm
Congrats on the new job! Don't forgot to spend time on you too!!!! That is very important.

Dee
Avatar for shirley_v
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2000
In reply to: shirley_v
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 12:07pm

Glad to see you back, Iggy, and glad to hear that things are on the upswing for you. Is if full time or part-time work hours and did you say what you do as your work?  Sorry if I don't recall, if you said.  All the best!  Join us here when you can!

Shirley

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
In reply to: deenow17
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 6:58pm
Well, I used to enjoy working even when most of my weeks were upwards of 70 hrs/wk. I was an HR consultant dealing with serious employee cases like fraud, harassment, discrimination, etc., I retired the beginning of April & must admit that I'm not really missing it like I thought I would. I miss dealing with people & the sense of accomplishment when a case was finished. Trying to figure out what to do that isn't working that will bring me that feeling again.

I'm also learning to accept that my kids have busy lives & Mommy isn't the centre of them anymore. It's taken a while to do this when you consider my kids are 32, 30 & 25. Our Cdn Thanksgiving in in a few weeks & it appears that we won't be celebrating as a family based on everyone's schedule. I have had to go away the last 2 yrs when this has happened to escape feeling totally miserable. But this year, I'm ok with it. I can feel that I'm starting to accept the changes without the pain. I know they love me & I'm actually accepting that their partners are their focus. Well at least right now until I hear if one of them has a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with their inlaws. lol.

Dee
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Wed, 09-26-2012 - 7:43pm

  We have not yet had to share our kids with inlaws  for holidays.

   DD1 and DD3 are both in serious (as in living together) relationships.  

  For Thanksgiving DD1 does two, we eat early and his family eats late so they eat with us and then again with his family.  For Christmas his family does Christmas Eve so we have them for Christmas. 

   So far DD3 and her boyfriend have been splitting, she comes to our house and he goes to his moms house.  The one exception to that was last Thanksgiving he had to work so he stopped by our house after work for leftovers and then celebrated Thanksgiving on Sat with his mom.

  DD2 has only been in one relationship that got to the spending holidays with family stage but his family all lives in Colorado so again we did not have to share.  The one year that they we dating at holiday time, he  came to our house for Thanksgiving.  He went to  Colorado for Christmas and then DD2 joined him there for New Years.