Out of the mouth of babes!!!

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Out of the mouth of babes!!!
15
Fri, 11-18-2011 - 9:54pm

It's a secret but I'm so excited and it's great that I have this place to share my happy news.

When Sandy was curled up in bed with our grandson Noah this week, he looked down at her tummy and said "there's a baby in there". She responded with nope "it's just gas" but he was right! I guessed last Friday. Sometimes Moms know their kids best. She was avoiding me, moody & quick to temper. So not her normal behaviour. It's a secret from everyone but Sandy, Luke, Ian & I as she is only 6 wks. She is also very nervous about delivering this baby early like Noah. The doctors couldn't provide her with an explanation for why Noah came 10 wks early. She will be monitored closely by one of the top obstetricians in our city.

Has anyone experienced an early delivery? Did you expect it or if not, were they able to tell you why? Sandy was my first baby and she was 2 wks early and her brothers were 1 wk early. So nothing to worry about, just great not to have to wait. I suffered through infertility and so the oldest two are fertility drug babies. I learned recently that they each should have been one of 3 or 4. Thank goodness that didn't happen. Andrew was a total surprise. He came along after I was told I had only a 5% chance of the drugs working again. So we decided to settle for 2 beautiful kids and 4 yrs later, I'm shocked to find out I was pregnant.

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Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 11:16am

That is exciting news Dee! I hope that everything goes well with this pregnancy.

No experience with early deliveries here...both of mine were planned C-sections, and no grandchildren yet.

Avatar for shirley_v
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2000
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 12:08pm

Delightful news!

Avatar for nora_mcl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2011
Sun, 11-20-2011 - 9:11pm

Congratulations Dee!

I have heard that one premature baby does not mean the next ones will be too. My oldest was a week early, as was my youngest-but the middle one was almost 3 weeks early, so go figure.

Grandchildren are a special blessing.

Nora

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Tue, 12-13-2011 - 6:50pm
For those of you might have wondered how I could be so close to Christmas and not have finalized any plans, it really wasn't that I can't make a decision. Unfortunately, everything has been in limbo for the last 10 days while we waited to see if we were going to have a happy or sad holiday. Unfortunately, it's going to be sad. Sandy's baby was not developing and today they confirmed that the baby has died. She would be 10 wks along this week and they are surprised that she hasn't miscarried already. Unfortunately, they are insisting that she miscarry naturally which will add to the stress of the holidays while we wait. It's unfortunate that while you are prepared mentally and you understand that these things happen in 20% of the pregnancies, your emotions are still engaged. Sandy is heartbroken and I'm struggling because I can't do anything to make it better or easier for her. What I can do and will do is focus on having a wonderful Xmas for Noah as he knows nothing of the baby. Thankfully they didn't tell many people about her pregnancy.

I would appreciate any prayers or positive thoughts that you can send Sandy's way as she struggles through these difficult days. Thanks.

Dee
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Tue, 12-13-2011 - 9:58pm

Dee, I am so sorry for the loss. You were so excited at the prospect of another grandchild, this must be a huge disappointment for you, in addition to feeling bad for Sandy. I will keep all of you in my prayers, and hope that everything resolves quickly and without problems.

Avatar for shirley_v
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2000
Tue, 12-13-2011 - 11:37pm

OMG, I just came across this post after replying to your one above!

Avatar for suzyk2118
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-1997
Wed, 12-14-2011 - 2:06pm
Gosh, Dee, - I just found this folder and am SO sorry to read this. Hugs and PPT to all.

Sue
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Thu, 12-29-2011 - 8:57pm

Dee, how is Sandy doing? You wrote about the Xmas celebrations and it sounds like physically she is okay...how about emotionally?

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Fri, 12-30-2011 - 9:22am
Thanks for asking. We are still waiting for things to happen with her as she has not miscarried yet. She saw her doctor on Wed and was able to discuss the situation since she wasn't as emotional. Doctor advised that she was 9 wks when they discovered that the baby hadn't developed past 8 wks but that they didn't want to proceed with a D&C then in case they were wrong. She is now almost 12 wks & there is no doubt so they are booking an appt for her to see a specialist for a D&C but due to the holidays, they don't expect to even get the appt booked until next week.

Sandy is a very logical person which is why seeing her so emotional was difficult as it's not her normal personality. I'm the emotional one in the family. Once she was able to calm down, she immediately hit the medical journals to try to understand what went wrong with this pregnancy. As James put it, once Sandy starts researching you know she is healing as it has always been her way. I would have to agree with him. She has her good times & her bad times but she is actually better emotionally right now than physically. She has accepted the loss, she understands she did nothing wrong but we aren't sure if she will try it again. She is still grieving for the loss and I have told her not to make any quick decisions. She just wants the physical side to end as she is still having pregnancy symptoms from the hormones still in her body.

Once again, I'm reminded of how truly fortunate I am with my family. My kids don't have a lot in common as they are all very different personalities. However, when things go wrong, then they are there for each other. Both the boys cancelled their holiday plans to spend Xmas Eve & Xmas morning with us at Sandy's. James then stayed at Sandy's this week to visit his friends but really to be there if he was needed.

Dee
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Fri, 12-30-2011 - 11:06am

The poor dear, that must be so hard to wait for the miscarriage to occur naturally, or for the D&C appt. It must make it harder to grieve and move forward when it isn't even "over" yet. How strong she must be!

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