Passing down the china.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Passing down the china.
10
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 6:00am

  I am not talking about expensive china or something that has been passed down the family so has that historical significance.

  I have two china sets I no longer use.  One a Christmas set,  I bought 10-12 year ago.  The other a set that my parents bought me maybe 20 years ago.  The reason I stopped using both sets is the are sets of 8 and now big family occasions are generally 9-10 so I replaced each with larger sets.   So basically they have just been taking up space in my cupboards for the last 5-6 years.

 2 sets of china, three DDs, so no fair way of giving them out.

  I decided the next time they are all here, which should be Christmas I will see if any of any of them are even interested in either set , it is possible they are not.   They all live in small places so it is possible they are interested but do not have the space. In that case I can continue to store them until they do have more room.  But if they are not interested then I see no reason to continue taking up space with something I no longer need or use.

 I guess if more than one is interested in either set they will have to flip a coin or rock, paper, scissors,

Avatar for shirley_v
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2000
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 2:02pm

Sounds like a good idea, nester.  Chances are maybe one or two rather than three of your Dds will be interested in the sets, depending on their personalities and what they like in style, etc.  I can't say I have a whole lot of extra sets of anything although I do have some things (not sets) that I will eventually give away to whomever wants or then maybe they'll go to a charity or garage sale.  Well, I do have two sets of cutlery that I use on special occasions, not every day.  One is stainless steel so nothing fancy but nice enough, and the other is a set my parents had which I think is merely silver coated - but which still  needs to be shined up on occasion.  I like the silver one for the pattern which is more old-fashioned.  I'm not sure who will want what if ever...but I'm not planning to give either away at the moment since I do use both of them, one set or the other at times.  I kept a few tea cups and saucers of my mother's - partly out of sentiment but also they are pretty, but oh dear, I never use them really.  The sentimental part is kind of wearing off a bit, but I'm not ready to give them away just yet.  There are a few things like that I kept from either my parents' or my in-laws' stuff but which I don't seem to use so I'm thinking that these things have to go sometime.  However, my Dd is big on sentimental stuff at times...and one of my Ds likes 'old stuff' (antique sort of things) and who knows, maybe he'll like some of the stuff of his grandparents'?  But I don't think I have a great deal of 'extras' of anything so much or too many things I wish to part with at the moment. 

Shirley

Avatar for sabrtooth
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-1999
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 11:10pm

I do have an expensive set-- Royal Copenhagen, that my husband bought for me when I became pregnant with our first child.  At that time, he bought only a service for 6.  His reasoning was that the dining table we had at the time only had 6 seats.  That worked unless we had more than 4 adult guests for a meal, so I bought a "knock-off" service for 8, with a similiar pattern.  Adult, carefull guests got the good plates; children (and Dh & I) used the imitations.  If we had more than  6 adult guests, we just mixed the real and the knock-offs randomly, and set the kids tables with regular dinnerware.  Everyone in the family knows, and it is a game to see who will get a seat with the "good" plates.

And of course, I now have 2 daughters.  What I have decided to do is to buy 2 additional place settings.  Then I'll give each kid 4 place settings of both the expensive, and the not-so-expensive dinnerware.  I'll have to divide up the serving pieces, so one will get the bowl, while another gets the platter, one the salt & pepper, the other the cream & sugar, etc.  I'll do the same thing with the good crystal wine glasses.  I have a set of flutes, a set of balloons, and a set of cordials.

I also have a few pieces of my MIL's china, and even fewer of my Grandmother's.  They, along with my better pieces of collected Depression glass, Carnival glass, and leaded, cut crystal, live in my china cabinet.  I will let the kids divide it up as they will, when I am no longer here.  They used to go to the estate sales and antique shops with dh & I, looking for buried treasure, so I hope they will keep some of it as a rememberance.  I know they will sell the cookie jars--I just hope they are still worth something by then.  Until that day, I enjoy my beautiful things.

Avatar for deenow17
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Mon, 12-03-2012 - 8:57pm
It's sad when we have things that others may not enjoy or want. I hope your daughters want your china & that it can be resolved without issues. Right now, I have my good china that my Dad brought me when I was 16. It is not dishwasher safe so rarely gets used. I have my Dad's Mom's good's china & my Mom's grandmother's good china. Don't use any of them but they take up space in my dining room & I'm not willing to part with them due to the family attachment. My kids aren't likely to be interested but it will be up to them to distribute or sell once I'm gone along with a complete set of crystal dishes apparently worth a lot that my stepfather brought his parents back from Japan in 1950. I also have way too many tea cups & I never use these as I don't drink tea. lol I don't have much in the way of good crystal as I refused to get it for fear it would just get broken. I make sure I have what I like displayed so that I can enjoy it even if I don't use it. Dee
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 1:29am

I have a bunch of stuff here to pass to the kids if they want it. When my mom died in 2004 ds said that he wanted her china and silver, so I have that packed up in the garage for whenever he's ready for it. She got rid of her crystal before she moved out here because I already have 2 sets and she never used it and didn't want to move it. Good thing, too, because the condo she ended up with was a lot smaller than the condo in FL and she wouldn't have had room to keep it anymore.

I have my mother's mother's china, crystal, and silver flatware and silver serving pieces. I don't have space for it inside the house so its all packed up and stored in the shed or garage, with the exception of 4 crystal champagne glasses that I keep in my kitchen. Several years ago I pulled out a lot of it for an elegant dinner party then packed it up again. The china and silver flatware are intended for dd, and she and ds can each have a set of crystal, and divide the silver serving pieces if any of them are worth it (they are silver plate and the plate is wearing off on some of them as my grandmother used them a lot). I also have an assortment of unusual little silver serving utensils such as spoons and forks that my mom had.

The big question is whether either of my kids will want their stuff when the time comes. They both like old things and are sentimental about family heirlooms, but at this point they both live a pretty "sparse" kind of lifestyle due to space issues and finances. Hopefully I won't need to get rid of the things for many years and they will both be able to afford larger places or at least storage units by then. Otherwise I guess they will be selling it all.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 1:04pm

DS took the set of melamine Corning dishes that we used to use when the kids were young.  He lives in an apartment with 3 other people and offered to bring the dishes.  Dunno if he'll ever bring them back.

My mom gave my sister a set of dishes when she was trying to downsize her HUGE collection of china.  Sis just passed it along to her 31yo son.  He said, "But Mom, this is good stuff" - but she figured, she never uses it anyway, she might as well pass it on.  So her son eats off what passed for Mom's "good" china back in the 60s.

Later on, Mom inherited my grandmother's china and then got into hosting big sit-down dinner parties and bought her own china service for 12.  Several years ago, she gave both of those to me.  I'm the only one in the family who does sit-down dinners for 20.  Dad gave me his stainless flatware set for 12 since he doesn't use it either.

I also have 2 sets of regular dishes and a set of Christmas stoneware that DH hates but puts up with for six weeks a year.  I'll happily pass along the regular dishes to my other kids as they need them - it will allow me to guiltlessly buy more. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 3:30pm

Inherited from MIL..complete china set, a lovely tea cup collection, complete crystal set,expensive vases, flatware (hers and her mother's)  & figurines plus dinning room set. Most of the stuff is over 100 years old.

A few pieces are displayed (like her mother's Silver Tea Set and the figurines) but most are stored away,in case the kids want it one day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2009
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 3:30pm

Inherited from MIL..complete china set, a lovely tea cup collection, complete crystal set,expensive vases, flatware (hers and her mother's)  & figurines plus dinning room set. Most of the stuff is over 100 years old.

A few pieces are displayed (like her mother's Silver Tea Set and the figurines) but most are stored away,in case the kids want it one day.

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 3:54pm

I wonder what I'll do with all this stuff someday.  My mother died 5 years ago, and I know that when Dad goes, I'll end up with most of the contents of his china cabinet, which includes a lot of crystal from a rich great-aunt of HIS. 

I already have my grandmother's silver coffee and tea sets, as well as her silver flatware.  All of it is in a closet. 

My mother also collected things like dessert sets (remember those from the 60s, when women used to have bridge parties?!), finger bowls, bone plates (a piece of china that hasn't seen use in at least 50 years), etc.  I know I'm going to end up with all THAT someday too.  Maybe it's time for a bigger dining room. . .

Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Tue, 12-04-2012 - 5:42pm

"bone plates (a piece of china that hasn't seen use in at least 50 years)"

Do you mean real bone china, or is there a plate that was intended for placing the bones when one deboned their quail or pheasant or whole fish etc during a formal dinner?

My grandmother (the one whose china etc I inherited) was big on bridge parties and teas etc which is why I have so many little ornate silver candy dishes and other impractical serving pieces. I did however acquire a love of Brach's chocolate Bridge Mix candy and Butter Mints from those little dishes LOL.

I do have a cabinet in the garage that I might be able to clear out enough to fit the china set, and maybe the silver and some crystal. Even though we are mostly very informal when entertaining it would be nice to be able to use it sometimes---right now its such a huge production to get it out and wash it, then wrap and pack it away again after use that I just don't bother. Another project to add to the endless list of low-priority tasks!

Avatar for mahopac
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-1997
Wed, 12-05-2012 - 11:43am

That's why grandmother's silver never sees the light of day - I don't have time for silver.

Bone plates were indeed special plates used for discarding bones from meat and fish, back in the day when chicken cutlets weren't prepackaged and fishmongers sold whole fish. They were shaped like a parenthesis to fit nicely around the upper left side of the plate.  My grandmother had a few of them, and after she died, my mother and I used to go to antique shows where you could pick up random bone plates for a dollar each, since no one had any use for them.

My father still has a dozen hand-painted and gilded oyster plates, which were huge, cumbersome plates with hollows in them for each individual oyster.  Ah, the Victorians, with their armies of dishes and tools for specific uses!  :)  I have no use for them, but I do love all these things, and they are a link to the only branch of the family that ever had any money.  I need to have some sort of "Victorian room" in my house to show off all this stuff!

Butter mints, I used to love those!  My mother would put a little glass bowl of them on the table after a special dinner.  Once my sister's first husband, back in the 70s, thought they were sugar lumps and put one in his coffee.  We all got a good chuckle out of that.