Pregnant DD in denial; What can I do to help her?
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|Fri, 08-03-2012 - 6:08pm|
Hi there. I've been a part of this website for awhile, but I haven't posted on the boards for quite some time.
I'm worried about my pregnant daughter. She is 24, unmarried, and coming out from a very screwed up relationship. There are things that I feel that have been going on that she won't tell me or anyone else about. Some that I feel contributed to her becoming pregnant. She's about 12 weeks along now, and we found out about 5 weeks ago. My husband (who is actually her step-father) and I have been trying to be as supportive as we can be. He loves her as much as I do. We know that people make mistakes and/or get hurt.
The first thing she said when the doctor called to confirm it, was "I can't do this, I don't want it". She did decide on not going through with an abortion, after thinking about it, and she told me deep down she wouldn't have been ok with that. I personally was happy about that decision, because I don't believe in abortion. I did tell her that I would support using adoption as an option. Even though I would find even that hard for me, because I love the baby already. And I promised her I would guide her along with everything, even sit next to her during delivery and coach her through.
However, she hasn't been "acting" like she's expecting. She's not interested in learning how to take care of herself and the baby. She won't talk about it. She's not eating right, and I know she's not sleeping well. She has even stayed out late with girlfriends. I'm hope and pray she hasn't been drinking. She's cancelled doctor's appointments promising to reschedule. She's always been slim but a little underweight, so not eating healthy while pregnant is even more of a risk. I'm so worried. She's depressed, I know it. But her body's changing and she needs to come to. I'm not sure what to do at this point.
The other thing is that I have a 10 year old daughter from my current husband, that she is close to. I know she feels like she is not a good role model anymore. My 10 year old doesn't know yet, and right now the challenge is when and how to tell her. My oldest says that she can't face her young sister, pregnant and "like this", she told me and her step father. I want to get her to understand that she is not worthless, with anyone in our house. Her biological father is blaming me for her predicament, and that makes her feel even worse.
Has anyone gone through this situation with their children? Anyone have any thoughts as to what I can and should do? Should I consider counceling? Thanks so much.