son and DIL in deep trouble

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
son and DIL in deep trouble
11
Mon, 07-22-2013 - 8:16pm

Hi.  I've been on here before talking about my son.  I'm afraid that he's headed for a divorce, they've been married less than a year.  The money problems and other issues that they have, I'm not sure they can work through.  They had a baby a few months ago and I'm elated to be a grandmother, but I'm so sad and really angry, with my DIL.  My son is not perfect but she isn't either.  He has accepted her for who she is, but she can't accept him, evidently.  She has this paranoia that because some of their friends are getting divorces that they will too.  Well, her fear is real, but not for the right reasons.  First off, one of the couples the husband is bi-polar.  Well, like I said my son is not perfect, he has a bit of a temper (he has my husband to thank for that!)  but he is definitely not bi-polar!  She takes advice from all the wrong people and makes up more problems that aren't even there.  Their biggest issue is about money and she can't seem to understand it.  They got in a fight last night and she took the baby and ran off to her mommy.  UGGGHHH!!!   Like I said, I am so happy to be a grandmother, but not like this!  I don't know if they'll stay married and if they don't I'll never see my granddaughter because she will go live with mommy and daddy (they are moving) and will be really far away!   I wish I could say that my son will get custody because he is the only one contributing financially to this family, but I know that isn't how it works!  So, please don't judge me, I just need someone to talk to. 

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 07-22-2013 - 9:55pm

Well I don't know about the history of the story of your son.  It must be upsetting to you since there is nothing you can do.  I think the main thing for you is to stay out of it--support your son but tell him you hope things will work out.  Don't say anything negative about his DW because they might stay together and he won't forget anything bad you say about her.  In most states, one parent can't move away with the child unless the court gives permission, but they might give permission if she is moving because of family ties, etc.--but it's up to your son to make sure that he has visitation rights.  No, custody is not given to the person who makes more money, it's based on what is best for the child.

Pages