Wondering and worrying a bit....!
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|Mon, 08-27-2012 - 7:49pm|
I'm not one to worry much about my children - maybe I'm odd that way as a mother. Well, I've had my moments especially during their teen years, but I've gotten quite good at not imagining bad things so as to feed worry. Things don't usually turn out so badly in the end. However my dd recently has not been around much - and I'm quite sure some of it's to do with late work hours and being tired and not having the umph to get up and come here for the family Sunday dinner - not a prescribed activity, but an invitation to whomever can and wants to make it. She doesn't have a car, (well,she doesn't drive so of course no car!) but not to say that if she wanted to she could snag a ride with her brother (who does have a car) or might just take the public transit. But that's not the point. She has expressed feeling "sh***y" lately, tired and basically depressed (by the sounds of it, though she has not quite used the depressed word). This is all over the phone as we've hardly seen her in weeks on end. She divulged a bit about how it's been impossible to find a two bedroom apartment with a friend she wanted to share with. And then there was worries about whether she might become one of the laid-offs as her bar/restaurant will be culling the servers down to smaller numbers for the fall and winter. She is not immune, as she said.
But I sensed that there were other issues bothering her that she was not wishing to talk about with her parents. Perhaps it is relationship troubles with her 'newish' boyfriend? I have not even asked her about him lately. I was allowing her to be the first one to mention him. The fact that she hasn't has me wondering if he is the source of her sadness. It's like I don't say anything...and she doesn't...it's seems to be an agreed topic we are steering clear of!
I spoke on the phone with her on Sunday. She admitted to feeling a bit better...(phew!). I mentioned something about how we as parents are naturally concerned about her but she seemed to say if not outright, but in an implied way that she won't be sharing with us what all this upset is about. She did say she has a lot of people (friends) she can talk with - i.e. she will share with them what she doesn't want to share with us. O-kay.... I think she was trying to reassure us too in a weird way.
It's not like she's been the dd who comes to share everything with her parents anyway. For whatever reason, it may be just easier to share with friends than with parents. And that is okay, but it's not easy to know your child is hurting and you don't know why, or you can't even console or give a modicum of advice to because they won't allow you to! So we check in with her with tweets and phone calls and we await for whatever. She did say that there is a possible one bedroom apartment that may be available in a small apartment complex two of her friends are living in and which Christine would love to rent. I hope that this is a real possibility and it comes true for her as I am sure this would be a boost for her.
Anyway this isn't written to elicite or ask for sympathy...just an expression of what's going on lately with one of my children. All of 24 years old now...not a baby! I hope things will somehow improve for her (whatever is going on!) - perhaps she will let us in on this in time, or she will solve it or it will solve itself.