school is NOT what I want to be doing

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2009
school is NOT what I want to be doing
1
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 1:35pm
I'm home today, no class on Wed. I got to put my boys on the bus. And I realized as I did that, I don't want to be going to school, I don't want to work. I want to be a stay at home mom and take care of my home and family. I want to scrub floors and bathrooms, to sew for friends and family, to plan parties and carry out those plans, to create dinner, to just take care of my home and family. It makes me so sad, and frankly very angry, that I don't get to do those things because of my xh. I'm stuck now, going to school, with work just on the horizon. My job is to take care of my family, I can't do that when I'm in school. I'm not even here 2 days a week when my kids get on the bus. I'm not here on the weekend when they are home, because I have weekend clinicals. I'm SOOOO frustrated with my position in life. Is it possible to work part time and support my family? I dunno, I hope so. I just don't want to keep doing this. I know it's only 2 more months and I'm done, and the next several weeks will fly by. But when I have time to just stop and reflect, I realize why I'm struggling so much and I'm so unhappy. I'm not doing what I want to be doing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2004
Fri, 10-01-2010 - 9:57am

I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I can relate! I love the days like today when I can get them on the bus & spend time with them. I was miserable in my previous job but if I'd known exactly how challenging it would be, I'm not totally sure I would have done this. It has been really hard to keep positive & continue to work at school. It's hard knowing I'm missing out on stuff and they are growing up.



I know it's harder since you were put in the position by XH. Remember that you are showing a great example to your kids about responsibility and working hard for something. I think it's probably harder on us than them. I don't know about PT but I do think it's possible to find positions that offer the hours or flexibility to fit in with a family schedule.

Stephanie



Mom to DD16, DD10 & DS8

Stephanie


Mom to DD16, DD10 & DS8