My 15-yr-old son wants nothing to do with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2013
My 15-yr-old son wants nothing to do with me.
4
Mon, 05-06-2013 - 9:46pm

Hi.  My 15-year-old Brandon wants nothing to do with me or his grandparents.  He called me on April 10th to tell me

that he wasn't coming to see me anymore, and when I asked him if I could still see him occassionally, he said no.

He hasn't spoken or texted me or my mom since that time.  I cry everyday.  She cries everyday.   And the worst part

is we have no idea why he is doing this.  He's killing us with this.  I just lost my brother a year ago, he died very suddenly

at age 50, and my mom is destroyed by that.  And now my son Brandon is doing this.  I don't get it, but the depression

alone is gonna kill me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2012
Thu, 05-09-2013 - 1:17pm

Hi, welcome!  I'm so sorry about your situation.  How often do you usually see your son?  How has your relationship with him been?  Has anything changed in his life that might make him take a step back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2013
Thu, 05-09-2013 - 8:59pm

Hi!  Thank you so much for replying to me!  I'm so heartbroken...I cry every night.  I am divorced, unfortunately, and I usually see my son half of the week and every other weekend.  I love him so much and I thought I was a great mom....I would do anything to make him happy.  To answer your question, no! nothing changed, except that he called me up on April 10th and told me he wasn't coming over anymore, and not only that, but he will not even speak to me or talk to me or  his grandmother!  He has only sent me one text that said "I love you both very much, but I just can't talk right now."  My mother and I are baffled.  I have tried so hard, but he won't give in.  I cry everynight but I am also becoming very angry.  I am actually seeing a priest tomorrow who is caring enough to sit down with me and discuss it.  I don't where to turn.  I'm afraid that this is the end of my relationship with my only son.  Well once again, thank you!  It feels good to talk about it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2012
Fri, 05-10-2013 - 5:15pm

How did your meeting with the priest go?

What about your ex?  Are the two of you on good terms?  I'm wondering because if you're able to talk to him, maybe you could ask him if he knows what the problem might be.  I hope your son comes out of his funk and sees you this weekend for Mother's Day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2013
Sun, 05-12-2013 - 3:04am

THANK YOU!  My meeting with the priest went very well.  He explained to me that my son, being 15, is at a very difficult age, and his impression was that his father and father's family might be discouraging him from seeing me.  My X and I have a "friendly" relationship; we don't fight, even though I do not agree with the way he has handled this problem so far.  My son sent 3 cards in the mail to us; one to my mother that was all full of  "I love you and miss you"; one to my father for his birthday, again with the "I love you and wish I could be with you on your birthday", and then MY MOTHER'S DAY CARD which was as cold as ice!  But, I suppose on the postive side, at least he sent me a card at all!  It JUST WOULD BE VERY NICE if I had a clue as to why he is mad at me and why he is avoiding me!  The priest said he got the impression that my x or his family or both are "brainwashing" my son because my x has to pay me alimony, and I know he HATES me for it; even though when he told me he wanted a divorce 6 years ago, I BEGGED him not to ruin our son's life and turn his world upside down by doing so, you know?  My x is now on his fourth wife!!!  When I got married, I thought it was for life.  I thought that no matter what, especially when you have children, you stick with it though the good times and bad.  Unfortunately, my x gets tired of his wives after about 6 or 7 years, which is a terrible role model for my son, but so much of this is out of my control!  Anyway, I so appreciate your taking an interest in my problem because it feels so good to talk to someone like you; it helps me a lot, and I so appreciate that!  I'm thinking of attending the support groups that my church has to offer and also maybe volunteering at the church too.  Things that will help my self esteem and give me some purpose in my life.  Before this, my purpose in life was my son!  Really, I wanted to make the best life for him as possible, but he has turned his back on me.  The priest said not to give up hope and do my best to be patient.  It's not easy, but I don't have much of a choice!  Anyway, thanks again!   And I'm looking forward to talking with you soon!  God bless you!