Husband's Birthday...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2010
Husband's Birthday...
Thu, 06-16-2011 - 11:57am
So, my husband's birthday is this Friday. I have been asking him what he wants to do and I even suggusted that he take the day off of work and we could do something fun. However, he forgot to ask off in time and he never said what he would like to do, but he knew I wanted to celebrate with him.
I would like to add that last year (I was pregnant) but he went out with friends the night before his birthday and was so hungover on his birthday he was unable to lunch or dinner that I had been planning for him.
Back to this year- at lunch on Sunday he was talking with friends and apparently he is going out with them to cigar shop and then who knows what for a" guys night". I had no idea at all- what if i had been planning a surprise or something? Which i am but it was for SAturday with his family. Well, on Tuesday I calmly talked to him and told him that I had wanted to spend his birthday with him and he kept acting all mad at me like it was such a hard decision. I told him maybe a compromise? I understand wanting to go to guys night since they haven't had one in awhile and I have been to several girls nights. I am not against going out with guys, just it kinda hurts my feelings that its on his Birthday (which they know) and they made it known that I was NOT welcome. These are the same people he went out with last year. He compromise and said maybe we could do dinner at 9pm- which I don't see happeneing at 3.5 hours of drinking and smoking cigars...
He acts like I am totally unreasonable for being upset and started pouting saying he didn't want to do anything. I didnt try to show him I was upset but I had some trouble keeping my tears back especially since I am suffering from PPD (I am on meds though).
I guess I just need advice on what I should do or if I am being unreasonable.
I really want him to do what HE wants but I am hurt and upset that I am not what he wants. I guess I hoped we would go out on a date for his birthday or maybe out with friends since we haven't been out on a Friday night but once in the past couple months. I thought he might actually WANT to go out with me and when I seem to be a duty rather than a privilege it makes me upset. Am I justified in the way I feel or am I being too sensitive?

Community Leader
Registered: 05-04-2011
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 6:44pm

I may not be much help, because I also have PPD so I'm coming from sort of the same mindset as you, but...

I would be ticked, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Wed, 06-22-2011 - 8:51pm
I would be a little hurt, too. But is he having a hard time dealing with your PPD? Could that be it (at least for this year)?