to stay at work or be home with the kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
to stay at work or be home with the kids
10
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 11:57am

OK i need advice!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2007
Fri, 05-23-2008 - 1:17am
That is a hard decion, but I always go with my family before anything else. A good mate is hard to find and our children are little for such a short time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Sat, 05-24-2008 - 7:50am

I agree with the other poster - it is a very hard decision, and it is a very hard adjustment going from a career to staying at home (at least it was for me). But I agree that family should come first - no one ever said on her death bed "I wish I'd spent more time at the office." Good luck with your decision!

Paige

Avatar for siriele
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2003
Sat, 05-24-2008 - 10:15pm

The DAY I found out I was PG with #3 was the same day I was hired full time in a excellent position with more money, status, everything. But I chose to work as long as

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2007
Sun, 05-25-2008 - 4:53pm
I would just like to offer a contrasting view.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sun, 05-25-2008 - 5:51pm
Thank you for the contrasting response. All of our point of views make sense. I will just have to try to adjust to work
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 8:13am

It's fine if you want to offer a contrasting view - that's your prerogative, and I'm sure she wanted to hear both sides. But for you to totally discount our opinions by saying "I wouldn't put too much weight on those posters" is extremely rude. This is a support board, not a debate board. We offered our opinions (which she asked for) and then wished her luck with whatever decision she made. In the future, please just try to do the same -- without telling anyone to discount what others are saying.

As far as the "caliber" of my former career is concerned: I have a degree from a well-respected women's college, I have lived abroad, and the last year that I worked, the products that I (alone) marketed for my company brought in 5 million dollars - and that was 10 years ago!!! My salary equaled my husband's - and yet I walked away from it to be with my children. Please don't automatically assume that it was easy for me to quit working because I did not have a career of "caliber".

Finally - you most certainly can go back to work. It may not be easy, and it may not even be in your previous field, but you certainly can if you want it badly enough. I have been at home for 10 years, and now that my children all are in elementary school, I am back in school myself during the day earning another degree - this time in nursing. I chose that field because it will allow me the flexibility to choose my hours and still be there for my children when they get home from school. I am, personally, no longer interested in simply making money for another company (my previous job) - I would rather do something that actually means something to me and helps people (nursing). I am living proof that it can be done.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 9:06am

I always say a good mommy is a happy mommy. If working makes you happy, you can make it work. You just have to find the right balance. Your 2 year old will adjust. and 2

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 10:22am

Well we are adjusting well. I am spending more one on one time with my DD that is 2 1/2 and that has seem to help her greatly!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 11:04am

I think a lot of dh's have trouble with a lot of one on one time with small children. They're not used to it.


Perhaps you can suggest things he can do with her..play doh, drawing with chalk outside, playground etc..and then leave the items where he can easily find them.( maybe pack a playground bag the night before with snacks, drinks etc,,,a change of clothing..to make

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2007
Tue, 06-03-2008 - 8:28pm

First, you plainly did not read my post, as I agreed that one can probably go back to work SOMEWHERE (in retail or another entry-level position), but nowhere near the same position one held before -- that is, if one had a high-powered, high-paying job, so there's really no difference in what we're saying.