Wanting a career and another baby...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2011
Wanting a career and another baby...
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 9:29am

So, I have been a SAHM for almost 5 years (we have a daughter who wil be 5 in Jan. and a son who is almost 2.5) and I am in a rut. I really want to begin a career, but am not exactly sure what I want to do. We also want another baby, but with our youngest being 2 1/2 and going to preschool next year, and me wanting to start a career, I'm not sure where baby#3 would fit

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2000
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 10:57am
Well, I'm not sure I'll be of much help. I had the same thoughts about having a 3rd when DD was about the same age as your DS. I am not the most patient person, and I know that bringing a 3rd child into our house would not be in anyone's best interest. I'm OK with 2, but even two overwhelm me at times. I'm busier now that the kids are in school than I ever was when they were just home with me. I feel like all I do is drive them back and forth from place to place. I will admit that the urge to have a 3rd wasn't all that strong. My sister had a baby right around that time, and I blame her and her cute, squishy newborn for planting that seed in my head. DH always wanted 3. I knew one was OK. I think we're both happy with our two, and our family feels complete to me. DH and I both go back and forth on the idea of a 3rd, but I think it's just going to remain as an idea. There are still times that I think a baby would be fun, but then my calendar reminders start going off and I have to move on to the next thought.

What does your husband think about trying for a 3rd?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2001
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 1:25pm
I don't know what to suggest. Maybe start a career and see if you change your mind about your family being complete. If not, working and having another baby is doable. Or if you aren't in a bad spot financially and feel that strongly, maybe postponing the career a few more years is the better option. A 3rd baby doesn't really cost all that much especially since you have a boy and girl already. Our 3rd really just slipped into all of the older kids activities really well and it was an easy transition. Too easy because I ended up wanting a 4th ;) It is hard to believe I've been in baby/toddler mode for 9 1/2 years so I get the not wanting to be stuck home all the time. I knew after the 4th was born that we were done and as he's gotten older I've enjoyed moving on to the next stage with him. I occasionally think about trying to have a little girl but the idea of starting over with all the baby stuff has lost its appeal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2011
Wed, 11-09-2011 - 1:44pm

My husband does want another child too, but we both woud like addition income before that. We are comfortably living now (not paycheck to paycheck, but not much extra money for saving and spending after dd's activies and tuition costs) and so thinking about adding another baby also, in our minds, means adding more income.

I believe my husband and I are looking at a different time span for baby #3. I think I would like to start trying again in a year, maximum, and I think he would like to start trying again when our son is "older"...I'm guuuessing he means like kindergarten aged and that just seems crazy to me.

Avatar for cmkarla
Registered: 01-03-2001
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 1:24pm

Community ModeratoriVillage.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2012
Sat, 03-10-2012 - 1:55pm

Just a thought, but have you and your husband explored the option of you starting a home based business? This would allow you the chance to get the extra income you are looking for, allow you to get out of the house, and also give you the flexibility to be there for the children you have currently and the new baby that you hope is to come. My husband and I choose this option for our lives and it's the way I've been "working" for the last five years. There are lots of options out there. I personally have done make up parties, romance parties, and home decor parties. I am now with a health and wellness company, but there are tons of others out there that I didn't mention here.