from 2 to 3 kids?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
from 2 to 3 kids?
5
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 9:28pm
I'm a lurker on this board lately and I had a question. I need honest advice and opinions on going from 2 kids to 3 kids. My dh and I can not decide on whether or not to have more kids. Every time we decide not to have more the question keeps coming up in our minds again and its driving us crazy. We just potty trained our youngest who is 2.5 years old and enjoying more freedom. Our main concerns are money of course along with energy level and our plan to homeschool. My dd is being homeschooled for kindergarten now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Stacey, Robyn (4.5), Garrett (2.5)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
In reply to: boressa
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 10:49pm

First I wanted to say that whatever you decide good luck! I know that with me the more kids in my care the more organized I get.


We are also homeschoolers and I added my baby nephew to my two boys this year...he is with us until 3:00 in the afternoon. I just adapted and things are going really well. We save the "hard" subjects for when he is napping. It can be done!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
In reply to: boressa
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 8:50am
I am asking myself the same question.
I want more, but my husband does not, due to money and time.
I have 2 now and feel that more would not be any diffrent then what I went through with 1 and then 2.
Good luck.


Lilypie Baby Days



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2004
In reply to: boressa
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 10:35am
I just had my third baby last January. Our house has been a little crazy since, but I think I function better with a little craziness. My kids are a little farther spaced in age than yours (7, 4 1/2, and 10 months) so it might be a little different for me that it would be for you. It has been harder than with two, we didn't have as much energy this time around (but somehow, you just find the energy!), and of course our grocery bill has gone up. But I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I've fallen deeply in love again and given my heart completely to another person again. Of course everyone has to decide for themselves if they want to have another baby, but for me it's really added completness to my life. Before she came along, I knew I would be happy with the family I had, but something would always be missing. I always wanted three kids and feel so lucky that I have them. Good luck in your decision.

Molly

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: boressa
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 6:17pm

According to my FIL having 3 kids is clearly a recipe for disaster. The last two times we've seen him he's found some way to bring this into the conversation and then painted a dire picture of life with three children (we currently have two). So, let's see what is so bad about having 3...well, this last time it was that a trip to Disneyworld would probably be out if we had 3 kids. He's also brought up the energy thing. If you decide to stick with 2 and want the full list of why 2 is all the children anyone should ever have (and 1 would have been better) just let me know and I'll actually listen to the next diatribe on the subject.

This really is a decision that only you and your DH know the answer to-and even then you'll probably second guess yourself over and over again. I'm the oldest of 4 kids and I saw my parents put energy attention and love into my youngest two siblings so I think you do come up with the energy and time.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
In reply to: boressa
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 1:51am

I have to say I agree with this being a personal decision. Every woman knows deep down what she can and cannot handle. I myself pine for a 3rd baby. But I stupidily took that decision out of my hands with a tubal ligation. I will tell you I have two and there are days when I want another so bad it hurts and days I rejoice in the fact I don't have another...lol. I have heard from friends and relatives that going from 2 to 3 was not as much of a shock to your lifestyle as going from 1 to 2. I have a friend that compares it to juggling. When you have one ball finally balanced adding the second throws your hands way off..but once you get that down pat adding another is not that much harder to accomplish. I believe whole heartedly most women have the capacity to love and cherish any number of children that they long for. And as everything in life is, you just have to find your knack for how it works best for you...As far as the money..well I know you have heard this one so I will just say it..."If you wait till you can afford children, you will never have any." I live by those words. That was what put me in this situation of longing was because I did the deed to not have to make a choice later as to whether or not I could "afford" another child. To me its a sacrifice...just like marriage is and just like the first 2 kids are...you just seem to make a fit in life for what comes along. I wish you the best of luck in your decision with this. I personally most days are rip roaring for another, and yet I don't have the option anymore. But I do fufill my hopes of this with hopes of one day getting to see women like yourself have their children..sorta like being a grandparent..take part in all the excitement and wonderous appeal of it..and yet I won't have to be up every hour to do the dirty work ..hehe
I know you will make the best decision right for your family

Angelia
Mother of 2 boys
Nursing student for L&D