About to be a SAHM and SCARED about it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2003
About to be a SAHM and SCARED about it.
6
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 4:22pm
Hi all, I'm new here but feel like I need some advice asap before I go loony!!

I'm 27 years old and have worked right along. Last September my husband and I had our 2nd daughter ~ now 9 months old, we also have an 11 year old little girl. We've decided that between us both STILL being in school, workign full time, full time daycare, having the girls, the chores, etc that it would be more beneficial for us if I stayed home and took care of the girls. I'm excited/nervous/scared.

I can't wait to be at home but financially it's going to be so very tight. My husband and I are what some would call 'working poor'. We have enough money to pay for the things we want and such but with having to pay $230/week for daycare for JUST the baby, it's beginning to get old. Which is one of the reasons we've decided to keep me home. I'm just scared about money I think. Well that and we don't own our own home yet and we were hoping to by the next year or something but unfortunately we would never be able to buy a house with just his income. He's not a big CEO or anythign like that, he makes okay money for us to live on.

How do you all save and cut back? I'm definitely willing to make the sacrifice, I just don't want 2 miserable girls because we have no money to do anything. Y'know. Like Christmas, how do you all get by on one income around the holidays? THings are going to be so very tight, the mere thought of Christmas is making my tummy hurt!! I don't want things to be like that ALWAYS!!!

Both of our families, with the exception of my mom who raised 3 girls on her own, has money. It's a big thing. Not TONS Of money, but they appreciate the 'finer' things in life. I don't want to feel foolish around them and stuff. I need to stop caring about what others think, I know, but HOW DO I??? It's bad enough the owning my own home thing gets to me, now all this, it's just really overwhelming for me. I'm SO emotional lately.


Any advice would be great, I'm taking it ALL serious!!

BTW, this is all so new, I JUST gave my 2 weeks on Monday, so that' why I'm thinking so much about it probably!!


~Tammy

Mommy to Synthia 5/24/93 & Zoe 9/20/03

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 7:05pm
I have two daughters, ages eight and just-turned-one. I have been a SAHM from the beginning of it all. I wouldn't have it any other way. I can't even imagine NOT being here with my kids all the time. Not to offend anyone, but my personal philosophy is: I didn't have kids to let someone else raise them.

My husband makes about $40,000 a year. We have two car payments. We bought a brand new 1700 sq. ft. house two years ago. Lived in a small 750 sq. ft. house for 3 years before that we completely remodeled. That's what we DO have. But we DON'T have cell phones, or cable tv, or nice new furniture. We certainly don't do without, but there are definately plenty of things I would like. My cousin is a SAHM also. But her husband makes about $60,000 a year. What a difference that makes. They have more expensive cars, a more expensive house, they take expensive vacations, a cleaning woman comes twice a week, there's the gym membership, the new furniture, appliances, expensive "stuff", etc.

If you stop and really take inventory of what you spend money on, I think you may be surprised about what you can really do without. You want to buy a house. Well, maybe your first house won't be the greatest, but you will build up equity and be able to buy up in the future, like we did. Maybe you can get by with just one car.

I may not be able to have a cleaning woman come in (actually I wouldn't want that, that creeps me out), or go on a cruise, or to a spendy salon and spa, but I am taking care of my beautiful girls and I am here to see every second of their growing up. I may feel a little brain dead at times, but one of my sayings is: Life was pointless until I became a stay-at-home mommy! :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 8:10pm

Welcome to the board!


I agree with the above post. There is a post below you called "How do you cut costs?"


The posts relate to what you are asking..if not please post back!

Are you a M.O.M-Mom of Many? Find other M.O.M's

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Sat, 07-17-2004 - 3:29am
Well I have a sweet baby girl, 9 months and am preggie again, I have stayed at home from day one, and to be honest, it is hard at first, there is alot to get used to, I think I am more tired at the end of the day staying home then when I went to work! but at the end of the day when my baby is asleep and I check on her one more time and close the door, I thank God every day for letting me watch this wonderful gift every minute :)

You will do fine in finances, cupons are great, sales, and kids resale shops save me. Good luck!

Starla
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sat, 07-17-2004 - 9:21am
i guess i have been lucky... i have been a sahm for 24 years.... ( oldest dd is 24.younest is 7)....... i have never known a difference. i have never worked outside of the home...... so to me there is no challenge of cutting back.we have always cut back..... we have lived pay check to paycheck... been unemployed.. last 3 years lived with alot of partial unemployment while the co. dh works for struggled to stay alive.. but we have always been ok.. i have no car payments at the time. our house payment is small. but our house is nice, we have improved it slowly over the years as our family has grown and we have been able to afford it.. it sounds like you will do fine, you are saving almost 1000 a month just in day care....and you will find that you were spending a TON more on food and other stuff cuz you were running and on the go so much. sahms have more time to shop thriftier...follow the sales, and cook more, and eat out a ton less. my sister learned that when she lost her job years ago.... she would shop at the most convenient grocery store available to save herself some time, but found out she was spending 2x more then if she were shopping elsewhere.. she also learned how to cook, and not eat out. they did great...now that she is working again, they are struggling, which makes no sense to me, but when she got another job, they over extended themselves.. financially.. and she went back to her old ways.. good luck..... remember, you are doing it for your family, and that is what counts...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Sat, 07-17-2004 - 10:41am
Hi Tammy, I hope that enjoy being a SAHM, it is so wonderful..

Here are some things that I do to cut cost, I reposted it from another board I post on.

I hope they help.

On another board I post often they are sharing ways to cut cost. I have gotten alot of great tips and they really work.

I figure with all the tok around here we need new ways to cut cost. So maybe you have an idea that we dont.

I copied and pasted my tips from the other board below.. I hope to get some more great ideas from you all...

I met a woman a while back that had wonderful ideas about budgeting and I did them. And WOW, the differences that it made...

I have always shopped at SuperWalmart for everything, they honor ALL competetor ads, so I bring in all other grocery store ads and I match prices on certain things. I do use coupons like crazy, that is a great way to try new things really cheap..

I cut my light bulbs down to 40watt in certain rooms. My hallways are lighted with 25watt. My livingroom is where we gather always, so my living room is still 75watt for reading and game playing...

When we file incometax we always get back so make it a point to pay my auto insur. and life insu. for 1 full year. If you want to keep cable, pay it for a year. I pay for all subscriptions and memberships for a full year as well. That frees up ALOT of money that you didnt realize you spent every mo.

I make my own baby food out of what we eat. I run it in a food processor and add a little formula/milk and viola, she loves it..

I use evaporated milk in my mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, cakes, puddings, so my gallon milk last longer with all the kiddies at home. And the taste is amazing, it is so much creamier than with reg. milk.

We do eat alot of fruit too, but we go to the farmers market. I dont know if you have one there. Have you tried growing your own tomatoes and green beans? They are so easy to grow. I homeschool my kids, so that is a learning exp. for them. It is so fun to see their excitement over something they grew and then got to eat.

We do like to go out to eat, but with a family of 7 it is very expensive. So we have been hitting the buffets, we have several different to choose from here. Seafood, chinese, home cooking, and my kids fav, pizza buffets. Alot of places do kids eat free on certain

nights, that helps too. On tue. nights we have a rest. where the kids eat free called Ryans it is a home cooking rest. It cost us 30.00 for all 7 of us to eat until out hearts content.

We take the kids to the park, the zoo (which is one of my memberships that I pay for with incometax) so my entire family gets in free all year. We go swimming the library.

And all of that is free and they have so much fun.

They like going to the movies too, so we go during the day when it is cheaper, and we stop by the gas station and we all get 2 kinds of candy and put it in our pockets so we dont have to pay the rediculas prices of food in the theater. All we buy is a drink.

Well I think Ive about covered all my ways that I try to cut cost.

I look forward to reading everyones ways they cut cost so maybe I can cut more...

Cyndi (#6 Edd 9/30) Its a girl

Good luck to you, and enjoy your girls while you can..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2003
Sat, 07-17-2004 - 4:11pm
This is my second post here, but I thought of credit cards. We've never had them... never will. What a waste of money to pay all that interest. If you can't pay outright for something... then how badly do you really need it?

I hardley ever pay full price for anything such as clothes, household items, etc. I buy during sales or at discount stores.

Also, we get our movies from the library a lot of the time, instead of just the video store. The library is free, and if your library has a website you can browse through the movies or do a search, there are thousands of movies to choose from, here anyway.