Adjusting to staying home...help!
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Adjusting to staying home...help!
| Tue, 04-13-2004 - 10:12am |
I have always taken care of myself. I lived by myself before I got married and had my own income...changed my own tires. I have two college degrees and loved my job working 4 days a week with my 3 children at my mother-in-laws. Nine months ago my husband got a great job opportunity for his career and that would allowand require me to stay home. We took it and it took us away from all of our family-about 11 hours away. Now the honeymoon is over. I have painted just about everything I can and we are tight on money. I love that I can be home with my children and I think it has been great for them to have me here but lately I feel like I yell alot and I find myself crying more and more. I have one good friend here and that helps and I talk with my family all the time...but... I feel... almost worthless...dependent...and it is getting worse. Help!!! I tell myself that this is what I've always wanted and how good it is for my children but it isn't really helping. Any advice for the forlorn?

I am a new mom with a 3 month old boy. I wanted to be a stay at home mom. My mom was home and I loved it growing up. However, it is very difficult adjusting to this new life. Even though I have a child at home, I still feel very alone. I know he is only 3 months but it drives me nuts not being able to get anything done around the house. He needs to be held almost all the time. Lately when I lay him down for naps during the day he wakes immediately. This is the first time I've had a break. I understand feeling dependent and worthless. But, try to remember that you are not worthless. You are the CEO of the house. Unfortunately, there is no income of a CEO! You are the chef, nanny, janitor, umpire, chauffeur, maid, and countless others. Just think of all the people it would take to do the job you are doing. You are indespensable! Keep your chin up!
It's hard when you clean the house and no one seems to notice or you have spent all day picking up toys (only to have your child pull them all out again) and then your hubby comes home and the first thing he does is pick up the toys. I felt horrible because I felt like he thought I didn't do it all day! But, we talked about it and now he knows to mention some things to me, so I know that he notices I didn't just sit around and eat bon-bons all day!! :)
I do wish you luck in your adjustment. If you have any questions about working from home, you can e-mail me at jencip325@yahoo.com.
Jennifer
SAHM to Tyler (10 months)
Turn a Monthly Expense into an Income!
http://www.stayinhomeandlovinit.com/cgi-bin/team.cgi?id=je57771&action=show
As far as the loss of independence goes - well, that's just a part of being a mom. Once you have children who depend on you, you lose a lot of your freedom and independence. However, that does not mean that you can't find things to do that are "just for you." Join a book club, take up a new hobby, etc. I am in the middle of building a new children's garden at my oldest son's elementary school. I have a marketing background, and I have written several grant proposals to various foundations to try to raise money to build the garden. It has been very good for me to keep up my writing skills and also to put my marketing background to work as I try to "sell" the idea of this new garden to our community. It had meant a lot to me to know that I am doing something significant in my community, and it has helped keep my brain from completely turning to mush LOL.
So all I can say is please stop beating yourself up, give yourself a chance to find your place in your new world, and cherish this wonderful time that you have to raise your children! Good luck!
Paige (mom to Harper, John, and Gib)
I also find that I yell at my kid a lot. Sometimes I feel that I made the wrong choice of quitting my job and looking after him full time. Is he really better off with me around? I also tend to feel depressed and isolated. Guess I don't have any gd advice to give as I'm still pondering the issue myself...
Take care.
Try a home business, that would not require you to go out, but yet meeting all kinds of nice people to chat with etc.Let us know you things are going later on...
stella