all time blow out (family drama)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
all time blow out (family drama)
6
Thu, 11-10-2011 - 7:00am
In a previous post I vented about my sil who is now 35 weeks pregnant. Now keep in mind this is family (husbands), I love them.
I have been searching for the perfect baby gift. When I was pregnant with my first I felt so blessed by family and friends and everyone's graciousness. I feel that sharing your baby with your family adds to the joy and blessing.
Anyway there really isn't such a thing as the perfect baby gift. And I know they have bought or gotten everything they need already. I am totally not saying there is anything wrong with that. It is great to be prepared!
So I asked her what she wants. She just wants one very specific thing. So I asked her husband my bil for a suggestion (via text) and his only suggestion was the same very specific thing. So I told him why I would not purchase the said thing. I read the reviews, and while this thing has a lot of good reviews there are also a lot of bad reviews and they all have a common thread to a similar serious problem. In my mind not worth the risk. So my bil asked her if she knew about those concerns. She sent me a text and blew up at me and accused me of crossing a line and going behind her back. My bil actually apologized and said he didn't mean to start drama.
When my husband got home he read through both text conversations and he was P-d very angry. He was so mad and texted his brother. And then called him.
So stupid to fight over a baby GIFT!
IN my opinion if you only want very specific items you should have a registry.
Secondly, it is hurtful the way she has acted, she has said all along if me or my mil ask what she wants or needs "we aren't depending on anyone to get stuff for us". We don't want to buy gifts because we think they need it, we want to buy gifts because that is what familys do when someone is having a baby. She makes me feel as though I am a mean awful person because I want to buy her something nice!
If I had sent out the same messages when I was pregnant, this is MY baby and I do not anyone else's involvement excitement or love I would have been robbing my children.

I want to add my sister died almost 2 years ago. I sometimes mourn the chance of going through this with her. So maybe I project it onto my sil, but I think it is stupid for anyone to act so ungracious over gifts.

Thoughts?
Photobucket

Avatar for anprdp
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Thu, 11-10-2011 - 10:39am

First, your sil should be honored you are trying to get her the most very perfect gift for her.




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2000
Thu, 11-10-2011 - 2:49pm

Your SIL sounds a lot like the way my SIL was when she was pregnant (and the immediate months after).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2001
Mon, 11-14-2011 - 11:40am
No advise, I don't think you did anything wrong and you are being a really great SIL putting so much thought and effort into a gift. She's probably pretty hormonal right now and giving her some space might be better for everyone right now.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 1:48pm
How did Thanksgiving go? Did you see SIL?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 1:53pm
Hi, thank you for asking. After the said blow out I think we have worked a lot out. I don't think she realized how she was coming across, and I think it was silly of me to be upset (i mean if someone doesn't want presents then that is their problem lol). So everthing is a lot better. Baby should be here next week...
And I did find the perfect gift...a collection of my favorite baby board books.
Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2001
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 2:08pm
I'm glad everything is working out between you and your SIL. I think that is the perfect gift, our board books have gotten a lot of use!
Photobucket