Am I a bad mother?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2003
Am I a bad mother?
11
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 3:00pm
I just started this group a few days ago but so much of what I've seen is sahm's that love being at home. I feel like a terrible mother because somedays I just feel like I've been put through the wringer and that I cannot possibly do this another day. Don't get me wrong, somedays I have ALOT of fun with the kids. But, well, today for instance, my 11 month old has been whining and crying and stuck to me like glue and my 4 year old has not been helping matters with her back talk and that sort of thing. I feel like I need to SCREAM!!!! Am I a horrible sahm?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 3:44pm
Everyone has those days!! Believe me. I sometimes feel like I shouldn't even be a mother, but then it passes and I know it was ment be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 11:44pm
You're a completely normal sahm. In fact I think sahms who aren't afraid to admit its not always as easy as June Cleaver's life are great sahms. I have just as many rotten days as good ones. I think of myself as a more civilized Roseanne Connor. The house is always a mess, the kids are always into something, there's never enough money, but she is resilient and keeps going. Have you seen the commercial where she goes to jail and is excited because she isn't allowed to cook, clean or see her family? Then she's upset when they try to let her out. Somedays, I feel like that. Not all the time, but sometimes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 8:46am
I think every SAHM has bad days like that. I have days where I actually look at want ads but then realize that staying home is where I'm meant to be. It's not always rosey, but it's worth it at the end of the day. I just take one day at a time. I would have to say 99.9% of the time I like staying home with my kids.

Good Luck to you!

Elaine

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 10:19am

As much as I enjoy staying home with my children and being able to watch them grow and be here for them when they need me, does not mean that everyday second of the day is fun and happy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 11:05am
Hi. I think it's normal to feel like that and it definitely doesn't make you a bad mother. I too feel like tnat especially on those days when I feel like I've been screaming the whole day and my 4year old just defiantly ignores me. Or when he's being clingy and following me everywhere I go and I can't bathe or even visit the toilet. But there are always the times when he comes for a hug. The times when I observe him crossing a milestone, for instance being able to draw a picture out of his imagination when he previously could not hold a pencil properly. The times when I could provide the consolation when he falls. I think that's what makes this thing that we're doing worthwhile.

Take care.

Lynn

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 4:09pm
No...you're not a bad mother. I'm having one of those days today. I have my 4year old daughter and 2 year old son at home. My daughter has been pushing my buttons and for the last month it seems as if I have been yelling alot. I tell myself that even moms can have those days. In fact, I was crying and decided to log on here to see if anyone else felt the way I did. I've only been a stay at home mom for 9 months and it seems to be getting harder and harder to stay happy. I think the honeymoon is over for me. Also, children change and grow so rapidly and not always for the better. What they did one month ago may change and they may now be harder to deal with. Especially girls! I find my daughter is getting more and more moody and talking back and sassing. It drives me to want to drink or put her in daycare...but...I don't because she NEEDS me. So...hang in there. You will adjust but no...you are not alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 8:07am
LOL I am SOOOO glad I found this board!! I have felt the same way as most of you! There are days where I say to myself, man I should become an alcoholic! Or last week, when I had to go get my driver's license transfer from another state... well I have a speeding ticket that I keep putting off paying and dh said you're probably going to get arrested for that when you transfer your license. I said, I hope so... then I can get someone to cook for ME! LOL

My dh can't comprehend why the house is a mess, why dinner isn't always cooked, why why why, he even said to me the other night "Leave it to Beaver's" mom could do it! OMG!! I said, dear, that is TV, AND her kids were in school!!

Anyway, it's really nice to know I am not alone in being burnt out, stressed out and just plain tired of being a SAHM sometimes. I too, search the want ads once a week, but bringing home $300 a month after paying daycare is just not worth it to me....well most of the time it isn't! There are definitely days where I would be happy to pay them to keep my son!!

Shanonn

SAHM to Evan (2), and Elissa (3 months)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 04-22-2004 - 3:43pm
I defy you to find a mother, any mother, who has not felt that ways. That's when I would jokingly complain to my DH, "why did I ever let you sweet talk me into having kids?" Of course, I was the one begging for kids. In the grand scheme of things, it is really only a small portion of our lives that our kids are consuming, though they age us fifty years in five! Hang in there. Any minute now one of your kids is going to put a smile on your face. Any minute...

Kara

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 9:14pm
Trust me I feel the same way most of the time! I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old and Im only 18 myself so its very hard not to pull your hair out on bad days. and its so easy to get angry or agrivated with you kids when you feel like you dont even time to breath and if you could just do the laundry in peace youd feel much better! but I think that makes you a pretty good mom because it shows your paying enough attention to them to be stressed out. and when you get 5 min to yourself before you fall asleep at night and you thank the lord for their being there and being yours, you have to know that you love them and would do any thing for them, and that makes you a good mom! A good mom is one that knows she messes up and tries to fix it when she does and who will be there when your kids need you. All they want is for you to love them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 04-23-2004 - 11:07pm
No, you are a normal mom. I feel the same way. I've spent a good deal of time lately yelling at my 3 and 6 year old boys. I quit my job so I could spend time with them and create wonderful childhood memories. At this point, I feel like I'm just providing fuel for future therapy. I have to find some balance. I have to get out every now and then by myself. If we are not happy then they won't be either. Good luck!

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