am i being lazy?
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am i being lazy?
| Sat, 10-30-2004 - 11:57am |
I'm a sahm to my 14 month old son and am currently 23 weeks pregnant with our second child. I go to playgroup once a week, or atleast i did. I haven't been in awhile. The thing is when I go, i always end up feeling bad about our financial situation. In order for me to stay home, there are no extras, and we live in the city. Most of the moms have nice suburban homes, and talk of different activities they do and have planned (which all cost money). So I end up just envying everyone there. But the thing is that it's really the only activity Jake has. We don't really do anything else. Besides go for groceries. So, I guess I'm wondering if it's hurting jake to not be involved in outside activities at this age. I'm always so tired too. Most of our days involve just the housecleaning, and day to day stuff, and playing with him, and yes - watching tv. I know that we're entirely too dependent on tv, but i don't know what else to do with so little energy. And just about everything else costs money. I hate to go to the mall and walk around because then I want to buy stuff, and I can't. We went to the parks during the summer, but now it's getting too cold around here. y I've thought about taking him to the library - but we can't stay long because Jake is a very active, vocal child (which is not conducive to library atmosphere). So am i just being lazy, or what? And do you think that a lack of activities at this age will be detrimental to my child? Thanks for your input.
Jen

Have you tried doing things that are free? Tons of things you guys could do together with other moms or by yourself.
Have you joined a moms group? Plan activities like the park, where other kids will be so he can interact?
IVillage has boards for areas in the US and other countries. Have you tired looking there?
Good luck, and dont feel bad because you are not rich, doesnt make things that you can afford any better then the ones that are free.
Jen,
One of the best things you can do for your son at this age is to spend lots of one, on one time with him. Have music time with him and put on silly songs to dance and sing to. I have bought kids cd's at dollar stores. Bubbles and music together are even more fun :)(this is what they do at mommy and me, and gymboree, but you are making it free)
Something my kids loved to do at that age is to paint. You could buy a highchair mat(I have found these at wal-mart for 2.00 dollars) and give him some paper and one color of paint and let him have some fun!
Another thing I like to do is to make sensory toys. These can be made by putting beans in a sock or take a clear see through glove and put in hair gel and glitter. Take a water bottle and fill with water and food coloring then glitter or sea shells and little dollar store toys(make sure to tape the top of the bottle with duct tape) Also for the water bottle you can fill them with sand, or beans and rice or small noodles, then add some bright objects into the mix. Your little on will spend hours just playing with these. (Just as a precaution I would never ever leave him alone while playing with these...they need strict supervision)
You also might want to check out book stores in your area and see if they have reading times for little ones.
You said you live in a city...are there any museums? Most museums have at least one, family night where it is free. Do a search on your town and you might be surprised with what they have.
I truly do not believe Tv is harmful if used in the right way. There are many stations who have children's programs that are free of harmful commercials and free of violence. The television can be a very useful tool. You might want
Are you a M.O.M-Mom of Many? Find other M.O.M's
and My husband and i are strapped for cash I have a 5 year old and a
15 month old and a 3 month old it is hard some times my house gets so messy
clothing after being washed don't get put away ! My husband work's 12 hour shifts
I feel like I never get to have adult conversaions I feeding my 3 month old as i type
this so please bare with me. I feel the same as you with my 15 month old she doesn't get to go outside lot or go to the park but i find thing to keep her busy I atmit I put a Barney tape in for her to watch or put on Blue's Clue's there is no shame in that
But having kids is a rough road but you know what in 10 years we will be saying
wow they grew up so fast where did the time go so injoy your children while they are
young !!!!!!!!!
Our town has a Discovery Center-if you could afford the family membership to something like that it's a great indoor activity and takes up lots of energy. I always thought those family memberships must be very expensive but it seems like most zoo/museum memberships are around 40.00 which isn't bad if you go a lot.
Taleyna
Second of all, I would not feel guilty about not providing him with a lot of outside interaction right now - he really is to young to appreciate it right now. I am sure that he is perfectly happy just playing with Mommy. Taking him to the park is a great idea as long as weather permits - it will give him a chance to play and it might give you the chance to meet other moms. I say this because right now YOU are the one who needs outside interaction! I understand that you do not feel comfortable in your current playgroup - and I also understand how you feel about the money issue - I also have felt out of place before with friends who had a lot more money than I had. Is there any way that you can find a playgroup closer to where you live? So that you would not be the only city mom surrounded by suburban moms? It might require you to start a playgroup yourself with other moms near you - but it would be worth it to be around moms who have more in common with you.
As far as cheap things to do - check out Mothers of Preschoolers (www.mops.org) to see if there is a chapter near you. The chapter that I belonged to only charged $5 a meeting - they provide childcare (a chance for your son to be around other kids) and they give you a chance to meet other moms. We also allowed moms who truly had financial difficulties to attend without even paying the $5.
Good luck with all this - it's a very challenging time in your life (and I'm afraid that it will only get more challenging when your baby comes!) Hang in there!
Paige
My financial situation is so horrible its not funny so I know where you are coming from. You being home with your son is far better than any outside activies at this age but a few FREE things I have found for my kids to do are:
Our local community center has free classes for kids of all ages ranging from puppet shows and painting to cheerleading and judo for toddlers.
The park is a real easy way to meet other kids.
The library has story time for little ones where none of them sit but the teachers are good at handling them and keep the pace going nicely.
MOPS also was a nice reprieve twice a month and although most of them where better off than me it never showed and they were just as concerned about cost cutting ideas.
And we go to just about every free fun fair and kids day we find by watching the daily paper
I hope this helps in some small way.
Before my older two got into school and I had 3 kids at home all day so I had to find ways to get out every once in awhile so that we would all make it to this point.
Amber
First of all I needed something for me. Some place where there were other adults and some place there were no kids. I choose school. I am currently enrolled full time nights at my local college going for my BSN. You don't have to do classes though for degrees. My local college offers lots of programs. Cpr programs, pottery, painting, crafts, swimming, etc. The good thing is that under the Federal Pell Grant I get help with my tuition. So if you do want to do a degree or just take some classes usually you can get help to do so. It gives me a break from my kids and makes me feel like I am going somewhere instead of taking space up in a house full of laundry and dishes.
Secondly, I was getting no outside help with the kids. Until recently the only times they were parted from me was after they went to sleep and I went to school. I found a local daycare that understood my situation. That they needed outside activities and I needed a break as well to get things done and sleep if I wanted to. My children are 20 months and 3 years so really the 3 yr old was the one I was more worried about needing other children. At 20 months the other was mainly concerned with where I am every waking minute. The director and I got a plan together that was still tight on my budget but workable. One full day a week I could drop them both for the full day from 8 till 5 30 for 45$. So what I do is take them every other week for some me time. That seems like alot of money, but it has turned out to be so worth it. And I find I can usually scrouge that much up every other week but if I can't no big deal wait till next week. I would suggest calling around and see if any of you local daycare are considerate of your situation. Try the YMCA. Just be sure to go and have a walk thru. Some of the daycares weren't up to my standards, but this one is.
Just remember you need to take care of you too. One day every 2 weeks can be the difference in a life saver vs not. And I am thankful I have been able to scourge it up. Hope these sentiments help a little bit.
Angelia
Mother of 2 boys