Am I nuts??

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Am I nuts??
5
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 6:47am
Okay here is my daily schedule. My best friend says I am crazy; there is no way she would do what I do.

I get up around 4:30 and take a shower. Its the only time I know the water will be hot and no child will come running in to ask if he/she could go outside or if dinner is ready yet. So I know I have a good 30 mins of quiet. Then I dress and by that time, the baby is awake (amazingly not crying) and is giving me the biggest smile in the world. She is awake this early b/c the alarm clock goes off every 10mins and her daddy is hitting the snooze button. So, I get her up and changed and then give her a bottle. I also make brkfast and make a huge lunch for my boyfriend. I usually drag him out of bed no later than 5:15 (he is such a jerk in the mornings.) He does drywall construction and spray. Mostly the texture spray. When he comes home from work, he looks like he been a white paint fight and lost..lol. But, his shoes gets very dirty. He has 3 pairs. I wash one/two a day. In the morning, while getting dressed, I make sure his shoes are by the door. Then he is out the door. I have a good hour befor I have to wake the older two kids for school (from my first marraige). Usually, I have quiet time (prayer) and then I check my email. Then I get my older children up. While they are dressing themselves, making their beds and feeding their pets; I am cleaning the kitchen or starting a load of laundry. Also, I have started my baby on solids, so she will get some fruit and cereal and I will get her dressed. By 7:30, we are ready for our morning walk to school. AFter I walk the kids to school, I work out for about an hour. Not everyday and now that I am pregnant (can not believe that i am doing it all over again..another story) its hard to do sometimes b/c I am sooo tired. AFter my workout, I relax and play on the computer, then I will start whatever house cleaning needs to be done. I have also started classes at home for Medical Billing and Coding, so I have a two hour block that I try to study while my older two are still in school. Yesterday I missed that b/c I fell asleep. I walk to pick my kids from school and we are home by 3. I feed them an after school snack and they can play outside or in for about 2hrs. Then its homework. WHile they are doing homework, I am helping and also starting dinner. Also, the baby wants her food too, so I am feeding her. AFter dinner, my older two showers and get ready for bed. Its only 7 or so now, so they have computer time and reading time. By this time, my boyfriend has come home and is in the shower. His dinner is waiting for him in the fridge. 3/4 nights a week, he showers, eats and then leaves for band practice. All 3 kids are in bed by 8 and its usually quiet for the most part. I am either folding laundry, cleaning the kitchen or the bathroom. I make sure that my boyfriend has what he needs for work the next day. I also make sure his lunch is together. I usually make bbq sandwhiches, sloppy joes or tacos for his lunch. He will have chips, pudding, crackers and a little debbie snack, water jug, 5/6 sodas, and 6 juice boxes. Not everyday goes smoothly, I can not get it all done sometimes. But my Best FRiend says I am crazy b/c he does nothing to help. I have a hard enough time asking him to bring in his cooler . He also likes to leave his t-shirts in the truck along with his shoes. Then he is mad when he dont have any clean shirts or shoes for work. I also cannot pack his lunch if he does not bring in his cooler for me to clean out and refreeze the ice packs. It has taken him 3x to forget to bring it in...resulting in no lunch. He was pissed. The next day he brought it the house..lol!!! Also, I noticed yesterday there was a pile of white shirts in front of my washing machine.But for the most part I do all of the housework, cooking, cleaning and shopping. I know that if I dont do it, it wont get done. My questions, should I insist my bf helping out after working 12/14hrs a day 6 days a week? As much as I want to go back to work, I know that right now I need to stay home (especially since I am pg again) I worked and was did all the housework when I was a single mom for 4yrs. I sorta feel like I dont have to worry so much b/c he is the one working and bring in the money. I take of the house and kids..period. He complained once and then I asked him if I were to show up at one of his job sites, could I tell him how to do his job? He said no, I dont know anything about what he does. I said fine, then you cant tell me how to do mine. He has left me alone ever since!!

So,ladies, am I crazy ?

Kay

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2004
In reply to: living4mygod
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 9:11am

I would say no...you are not crazy. BUT, when do you get time for yourself with no kids?


Yes it sounds like he works very hard, but does he acknowledge how hard you work?


I do little things for my dh, like make his lunch and keep his clothes clean and make him hot meals. But I know, he knows how hard I work. He tries very

Are you a M.O.M-Mom of Many? Find other M.O.M's

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
In reply to: living4mygod
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 9:52am
time to myself....hmmmm...thinking...

My older two go to their dad's house every weekend. But I have the baby to take care of. She is still at the fun age, 4 almost 5 mos....

time with no kids....hmmm..still thinking...

kay

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2004
In reply to: living4mygod
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 10:53am
Hi Kay,

Sounds like you're doing a great job of keeping everything running smoothly. I think that most of us who stay at home end up doing alot of the things around the house. I don't mind, but if my husband wasn't helpful when he was around, I would have a problem with that. Plus it's one thing to do things for your kids when they're small, but it sounds like you're doing the same things for your boyfriend. He's probably big enough to make his own lunch and clean his own shoes, even if he works hard during the day. You work hard too and still manage to get those other things done. Tell him how you feel and that you'd appreciate some help.

Oh, and hope you're having a good pregnancy : )

Wendy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
In reply to: living4mygod
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 11:29am
HI!

Whoa, let me first commend you for doing all the things you do while being pregnant and having 3 children! I have been home with my 24 month old since he was born and thats enough work for me! haha. Is I were you I would insist your boyfriend help out more. My husband and I ran into the same problem when he was working long hours, and I was home. He actually made a comment to me that i'm suppose to take care of everything around the house, including the baby and he takes care of the $. Well, that didn't last long, it's A LOT of work to take care of kids, then to add on housework, store trips, etc..the list goes on. I think getting your boyfriend ready for work is insane, he's a grown man and can get his lunch,wash his shoes, etc...My husband works long hours, and travels everyday, but I make him take care of his own things, packing lunch/ironining dress shirts, the only thing I do for him is laundry and make dinner. I think many women get stuck in this trap of having to take care of their sppouse/boyfriend when they are a stay at home mom. Just because we're at home doesn't mean we have all the time in the world to sit around and watch soaps and take naps, especially when you have babies.

I made it very clear to my husband I was not going to take care of him no matter how long of hours he works because I work as hard as he does around the house. I just think that the man needs to participate in the care of your children, period. Whether it's just giving a bath, or helping with homework for a halfhour. They need to take the time to help the woman out. Those are my views anyway, ever since my husband and I came to this understanding, our lives have been easier!! goodluck and do whatever you feel is right :)

Katie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
In reply to: living4mygod
Tue, 11-09-2004 - 6:44pm
I think your bf is!
How can he sit there and allow you to do everything?? I can see maybe 80 % of everything, but 100%?
What kind of person does that to someone they care about?
I feel sorry for you. I don't know what I would do if I had to be in your shoes.
I do think you should ask him to help out more. It is only right for him to help out around the house.
Good luck and take it easy!


Lilypie Baby Days



Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting