Am I too Lax?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Am I too Lax?
4
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 10:45am
I recently took a trip to visit the in-laws and felt like they thought my kids were out of control because they had a tantrum here and there. Whenever they cried my mother-in-law would immediately send them to their room.
Am I too lax in my dicipline if my kids cry once in a while? They are 2 and 3&1/2. I usually just let them cry for a while and unless they have done something wrong or hurt eachother intentionaly I don't send them to thier rooms.
Let me know what you think...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
In reply to: sydzkmom
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 11:40am

I don't think you should subject yourself, nor your in-laws to the "crying to get your way" noise. Why bother? We all know that kids do this, and if you're a decent parent it won't work, but why should you have to listen, or why should grandma and grandpa have to listen to that stuff? I don't. Sorry but I'm not going to stop my life/conversation/tv show/peaceful time/radio song just because my kid thinks they're going to make a big racket. I always send them out of the room at least (bedrooms are upstairs, usually don't make them go that far) because who wants to hear it? Not me.

Don't give them an audience, and it lasts a lot less!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: sydzkmom
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 12:21pm

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your ILs, but I would have been bugged by my MIL punishing my kids when I'm there. That's up to you and your DH, not her, unless she's watching them for you. That's just my opinion.

And no, I don't think you're too lax at all. My kids have tantrums all the time, and I do the same thing: IGNORE THEM. To me, crying and receiving a punishment is sending the wrong message. It's OK to cry. There's nothing wrong with emotions. Why should a child be punished for their emotions? You can ask them to go in another room if you don't want to listen to it. But I wouldn't encourage it by giving in to it either. I think the Ignore Policy is the best approach.

Sofia




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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: sydzkmom
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 12:35pm
I know how you feel. My mom told me once that my children needed more disciple. I listened and then let it go in one ear and out the other. My kids act differently when we are out and about. At my parents, they know grandma and grandpa will spoil them and they can get away with things they don't at home. Thats my situation though.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
In reply to: sydzkmom
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 12:42pm
Thanks for the encouragement. I never give in to the tantrum but I'm glad to hear not everyone just sends them away as the first course of action.